May 28, 2007, Roswell, N.M.
According to an eye-witness to the events of July, 1947, George W. Bush was part of an invasion that began with the "crash" of an alien vehicle in Roswell. The witness observed the following events from a hilltop overlooking the ranch while out riding fences. "I saw the saucer land," said the witness, who wished to remain anonymous. "After the creatures came out, the Army showed up, and the aliens mowed 'em all down with some kind of ray guns and dressed up in the army uniforms, and then drove their jeeps back to the base."

He went on to relay that all his former friends at the base "seemed to be under some kind of brain-washing-- they didn't know me anymore. But I had one friend who found out that Bush, senior, had taken this little alien baby back home with him to his house in Kennebunkport."

When US Army authorities officially denied events he had seen with his own eyes, he said: "I knew better than to open my mouth-- too many folks were havin' plane crashes and dyin' of strange suicides. I naturally thought the aliens had taken over the Army."

Deciding to keep a low profile, he has never revealed the true facts of July, 1947 until he knew no one could be hurt by his revelations except the alien invaders. At age 84, he does not have long to live, having been exposed to some kind of radiation emanating from the saucer-like craft. For this reason he was prompted to come forward after Bush signed Presidential Directive 51, authorizing dictatorial powers to the President.

"I knew then the aliens had taken over the whole government, and they meant to kill all of us humans."

When contacted, the White House denied any connection with Area 51, said the president's birthday in July, 1947 was a coincidence, and further implied that such talk was not only unpatriotic, but treasonous, and initiated investigations into this reporter's tax returns and voting record. As of this writing, I am in hiding and the witness has died in an airplane crash.