July 28, 2008 at 22:58:18

The Closing Days of George W. Bush's Reign of Error

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I am absolutely certain that until his last second in office, perhaps even on the dais as the eggs stream down his face on Jan 21, George W. Bush will be signing papers to turn women into chattel, render children into lard, install tracking devices in our private parts, kill all the wild animals that creep upon the earth. and transfer the contents of all bank accounts to Exxon. It's inevitable. I expect the fever to mount daily until every member of every part of the great bush administration will be signing, drafting, and imposing documents with pens in each hand and between the toes of each foot ever more horrific enormities, nuking San Francisco, declaring interracial marriages null and void, selling anyone with skin darker than a grocery bag into slavery in the Saudi desert, requiring v-10 engines in every automobile, atv, and skateboard manufactured or imported in the US--and requiring each of these engines to idle constantly when not in use--until the papers will stop mentioning them because it all sounds like yesterday's news. Oh wait. That's already happened.

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Adherent to the cowboy way, eschewer of four-letter words and dental care, founder of the hippie movement, and failed prospector, Gabby Hayes can be counted upon to point and say, "They went thataway," and to develop plans to cut them off at the (more...)

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