Share on Google Plus
  2
Share on Twitter
  13
Share on Facebook
  59
Share on LinkedIn Share on PInterest
  14
Share on Reddit Share on StumbleUpon
  589
Tell A Friend
  39
716 Shares     
Printer Friendly Page Save As Favorite View Favorites View Article Stats
74 comments

Life Arts

Ten ways to spot a sociopath (aka con-artist) on your first date

By (about the author)     Permalink       (Page 1 of 1 pages)
Related Topic(s): ; ; ; ; ; ; ; , Add Tags Add to My Group(s)

Valuable 8   Well Said 7   Interesting 6  
View Ratings | Rate It

Headlined to H2 2/17/12
Become a Fan
  (4 fans)

opednews.com

WHAT MAKES A SOCIOPATH?
There are people in the world who don't care about love, and who feel no remorse, empathy or emotional attachment to others. They don't even know what these feeling are. These people are called sociopaths. Most people think of a sociopath as a deranged serial killer, but, with 4% of the population having the character traits of a sociopath, most sociopaths never physically harm anyone. Sociopaths do however ruin lives, empty bank accounts, and cause untold emotional trauma, using simply the fact that they don't care. 
 
The Absence of Feelings: Sociopaths may seem to laugh or cry but they present with no depth of emotion. While easily provoked to frustration or rage, their display of feeling is little more than a momentary, isolated temper tantrum. To the sociopath, other people are tools to  get them what they want: money, sex, a job or other possessions. They live in their own amoral world where nothing they do has any consequences and where they owe no one anything. They have no empathy. Thus, they elude all responsibility for their actions, and can easily turn the tables, blaming their partner without guilt or shame.
The Relentlessness of Deception: Sociopaths lie all the time. As they don't view their spouse as a thinking, feeling person, they do not see this behavior as wrong. Their only quest is to serve themselves and, if this entails lying, cheating or even murder, they will do so. If one catches them in lies, they are brilliant at changing the subject, placing the onus on the other person, denying their involvement or trying to make their spouse seem crazy. They are even good at deceiving the police and the court system; sociopaths rarely end up in prison for their actions.
The Impulsiveness of Action: Sociopathic individuals rarely plan ahead. They undertake actions on the basis of momentary whims, often devious ones. Every act seems isolated in its own amoral universe. Thus, they cannot keep promises or repair the damage they've caused to others. When they lie, cheat or steal, the act exists solely for them; they believe it should have no repercussions or real world effects. They often appear to have "forgotten" they did something shortly after it happened. Their need for excitement encourages them to get involved in one night stands, shady deals and ill advised engagements. Sociopaths have no sense of commitment to their spouses, any children they may have together or the future.
   
HOW TO SPOT A SOCIOPATH
Sociopaths have impressive social skills, thereby making them extremely hard to spot. They are charming, funny and exciting. This is why we need to be aware. If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.

1) Charisma and charm:  They're smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting. Their manners are impeccable; they are well groomed; they fulfill the codes of romance and courtship to a tee. They are likely to be eloquent talkers who lace their speech with impressive sounding facts and figures. They may be fun, laugh a lot, sweep their partner off their feet with their sweetness. 
2) Enormous ego:  They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3) Overly attentive:  They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and  friends.
4) Jekyll and Hyde personality:  One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5) Blame others:  Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6) Lies and gaps in the story: You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they'd make out better telling the truth. If you probe deeper, you'll find that their stories never stack up.
7) Intense eye contact:  Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8) Move fast:  They quickly proclaim that you're their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9) Pity play:  They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10) Sexual magnetism:  If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.

Some doctors call them sociopaths, others refer to them as psychopaths. Either way, the terms are used to describe individuals who have a range of personality disorders. These people are NOT certifiably mentally ill; they are biological carriers of socially and personally problematic traits. Such traits may have been manifested from childhood in acts of cruelty to animals, property or people. These characteristics can disrupt relationships, create financial and emotional crises, and, at their worst, lead the person to callously undertake acts of vandalism, theft, rape or murder. Being aware what constitutes a sociopath can help one resist their charm and the errors inherent in establishing a life with them.

Sociopaths know exactly what they are doing, and most of them never kill anyone. But they are social predators who exploit just about everyone they meet. They have no heart, no conscience and no remorse. 

You can't "cure' a sociopath or help them to see the error of their ways. They don't see the world as we do, so the only thing you can do, is save yourself and walk away.


Dr Annabelle R Charbit

Author of A Life Lived Ridiculously: When a girl with obsessive compulsive disorder, falls in love with a sociopath, she must fight for her sanity and her life
Buy the book at Amazon
Buy the book at Barnes and Noble

Like A Life Lived Ridiculously on Facebook

Follow Dr Annabelle RC on Twitter

 

http://www.ridiculouslife.net/

I am a research scientist and a writer, with a PhD in neuroscience from University College London. I recently published the novel, A Life Lived Ridiculously, about a girl with obsessive compulsive disorder who makes the horrible mistake of (more...)
 
Share on Google Plus Submit to Twitter Add this Page to Facebook! Share on LinkedIn Pin It! Submit to Reddit Submit to Stumble Upon

The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

Follow Me on Twitter

Contact Author Contact Editor View Authors' Articles

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Ten ways to spot a sociopath (aka con-artist) on your first date

How to Detect and Avoid the Top Scam Money Making Websites

Selling on Ebay versus selling on Amazon

The best and worst online communities for writers and bloggers

Hoarding Vs Clutter Phobia, Which One Is Really OCD?

When alcohol and anxiety are a dangerous mix

Comments

The time limit for entering new comments on this article has expired.

This limit can be removed. Our paid membership program is designed to give you many benefits, such as removing this time limit. To learn more, please click here.

Comments: Expand   Shrink   Hide  
23 people are discussing this page, with 74 comments
To view all comments:
Expand Comments
(Or you can set your preferences to show all comments, always)

Drug addicts are prone to being sociopath/psychopa... by bogi666 on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 12:55:18 PM
...but who can we count on to regulate human behav... by Annabelle RC on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 1:38:43 PM
regulates the regulators.  A fact which is mo... by Mark Adams JD/MBA on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 4:30:31 PM
The founders crafted a Federal system, with a stro... by Don Smith on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 7:01:29 PM
I've been saying that for years.  If you take... by Mark Adams JD/MBA on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 9:07:55 AM
I was a psychotherapist for almost 20 years and wo... by Ariel Monserrat on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 4:24:46 PM
Indeed we cannot cure sociopaths. Sociopathy is a ... by Annabelle RC on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 5:43:25 PM
people don't sit around planning unnecessary killi... by zzz05 on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 7:14:54 PM
Perhaps in the animal world, sociopathic tendencie... by Annabelle RC on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 9:57:02 PM
OK, I'm a twice divorced man.  Now, Annabel, ... by Robert James on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 11:16:20 AM
I believe that sociopaths and psychopaths cause 95... by Skeptic1 on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 3:02:04 PM
Fortunately sociopathy is being studied and someth... by Annabelle RC on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 5:46:16 PM
was it the psychopaths in the bush administrtion w... by zzz05 on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 7:23:14 PM
to answer your questions.I've met at least two psy... by Daniel Geery on Monday, Feb 20, 2012 at 9:32:21 AM
not to do so, and it is in their corporate charter... by bogi666 on Friday, Feb 24, 2012 at 4:22:07 AM
We tend to overestimate  the other people's v... by Mark Sashine on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 6:05:33 PM
It's just that  they can be so difficult to i... by Annabelle RC on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 10:34:34 PM
  I've worked with sociopaths or people with ... by Bob Gormley on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 6:09:59 AM
are socio-psychopaths. That's a start. In the age ... by bogi666 on Friday, Feb 24, 2012 at 4:26:55 AM
I was pursued and then treated like garbage by som... by intotheabyss on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 7:31:41 PM
It certainly sounds like you encountered a sociopa... by Annabelle RC on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 10:05:11 PM
you described the current crop of Republican candi... by Archie on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 8:53:56 PM
In fact most world leaders probably fit nicely int... by Annabelle RC on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 9:59:29 PM
nearly every politician in both parties, every hig... by zon moy on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 5:11:44 AM
This seems to be a way to spot the current crop of... by Keith Smith on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 9:06:20 PM
Do you think Saddam, the Taliban, and the other 40... by Skeptic1 on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 10:04:08 PM
...just in case someone is listening to an overly ... by Annabelle RC on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 10:10:07 PM
no one has the right to intervene. Whatever the Ko... by Archie on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 10:19:43 PM
You forgot to mention major terrorist organization... by Richard Pietrasz on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 8:25:29 PM
In the photo of the couple at the table, which one... by Don Smith on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 10:08:49 PM
It was Madeleine Albright who was infamously quote... by Richard Pietrasz on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 7:48:19 PM
An ex-soldier,  Paul Chappell has written a b... by Don Smith on Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 at 10:27:49 PM
  A person's brain is not designed to accept ... by Bob Gormley on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 6:16:04 AM
I heard about that book too. Indeed most of us cou... by Annabelle RC on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 12:41:18 PM
One of military basic training's primary goals is ... by Richard Pietrasz on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 7:55:26 PM
You got it.... by Bob Gormley on Monday, Feb 20, 2012 at 6:11:19 AM
socio-psychopaths in one brief paragraph. Create f... by bogi666 on Friday, Feb 24, 2012 at 4:44:13 AM
Shooting by USAn troops to  kill "the enemy" ... by bogi666 on Sunday, Feb 26, 2012 at 7:23:29 AM
As humans, we have evolved into the habit of suppo... by Ned Lud on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 7:36:07 AM
Without government, we'd be hunter-gatherers. ... by Don Smith on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 9:40:37 AM
Americans who had their homes stolen from them by ... by Mark Adams JD/MBA on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 10:31:03 AM
The reasons the banksters were able to steal was t... by Don Smith on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 10:44:01 AM
Donny tell me this: When you were a kid in school,... by Ned Lud on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 10:58:53 AM
who didn't regulate last time and perhaps a new pr... by Mark Adams JD/MBA on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 11:07:55 AM
Genocide and slavery were founding principles of U... by Richard Pietrasz on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 8:23:24 PM
democratic, how did Stalin keep getting re-elected... by Mark Adams JD/MBA on Monday, Feb 20, 2012 at 11:17:51 AM
I did not write that USSR succeeded at becoming ei... by Richard Pietrasz on Monday, Feb 20, 2012 at 4:37:28 PM
continuation of Czarism. I went to the USSR, Russi... by bogi666 on Friday, Feb 24, 2012 at 4:59:11 AM
USG created wars and its funding of proxy wars sin... by bogi666 on Friday, Feb 24, 2012 at 5:06:47 AM
Yes and by God and, by Constitution, we got those ... by Ned Lud on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 10:46:24 AM
believe that the folks who rule us are good and ju... by Mark Adams JD/MBA on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 11:29:29 AM
I am aware that many of our leaders are corrupt. T... by Don Smith on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 12:16:49 PM
Do you think that restoring the fundamental rights... by Mark Adams JD/MBA on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 12:43:44 PM
anyone?   As usual, I'm amazed, but not surpr... by Mark Adams JD/MBA on Monday, Feb 20, 2012 at 11:34:22 AM
The money from large corporations and rich people ... by David Vicks on Tuesday, Feb 21, 2012 at 8:30:11 PM
Get the money motivator out and perhaps things wou... by Annabelle RC on Tuesday, Feb 21, 2012 at 9:23:36 PM
argument presented by the other side in a debate b... by Mark Adams JD/MBA on Friday, Feb 24, 2012 at 2:05:10 PM
I think government is a necessary evil. The altern... by Annabelle RC on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 12:44:22 PM
I mostly agree with you, Don, but your "Government... by Richard Pietrasz on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 8:07:20 PM
but government is a necessary evil. In an ideal wo... by Annabelle RC on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 8:26:01 PM
Atticus Finch... by Mark Sashine on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 9:32:02 AM
I totally agree :)Annabelle... by Annabelle RC on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 12:45:29 PM
are the biggest sociopaths on the planet.Like the ... by 911TRUTH on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 11:42:43 AM
Been there, done that.... by Bob Gormley on Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 1:13:36 PM
I know some people that display some of the above ... by Daniel Penisten on Monday, Feb 20, 2012 at 12:23:02 PM
when you had to ' earn' sympathy? Try it, works ve... by Mark Sashine on Monday, Feb 20, 2012 at 4:41:41 PM
Indeed I'm sure that some people display some of t... by Annabelle RC on Tuesday, Feb 21, 2012 at 10:36:07 AM
What a timely article, and absolutely accurate. I ... by Shari Turner on Monday, Feb 20, 2012 at 11:50:37 PM
And yes, this information should be made available... by Annabelle RC on Tuesday, Feb 21, 2012 at 10:31:28 AM
Applies equally to candidates for elected office.... by Carol Davidek-Waller on Tuesday, Feb 21, 2012 at 5:44:20 PM
I have a google alert set up for the word sociopat... by Annabelle RC on Tuesday, Feb 21, 2012 at 9:21:28 PM
The majority of the characteristics you describe h... by Dan Mage on Tuesday, Feb 28, 2012 at 5:14:42 PM
Yes Dan you are right. Sadly it is true that nice ... by Annabelle RC on Wednesday, Feb 29, 2012 at 7:52:43 AM
Annabelle wrote: "There is certainly a need for s... by Daniel Penisten on Wednesday, Feb 29, 2012 at 1:03:14 PM