OpEdNews - Article: Secret Service Issues New Policy: Bloggers to Go Shoeless

The Secret Service has ruled that bloggers must go shoeless when attending political events.

After the flack raised by Secret Service critics who questioned why President Bush found himself at the mercy of an Iraqi journalist's size tens, the security org took a preemptive position, requiring that all bloggers, journalists and hosts from Air America, PBS, NPR and MSNBC would be required to remove their shoes before entering secure zones when the president, vice president James Dobson, and the CEOs of Blackwater and Haliburton are present

"We have long had serious concerns over stiletto heels and steel tipped union work boots," a spokesman for the secret service explained. "Now, we have an excuse... er, make that serious reason to secure the left's footwear. The policy also requires that no stiletto heels be worn in any press briefings where any member of congress is present. "The godless, women on the left will have to hike their droopy butts without the help of high heels," a press release from an un-named Secret service spokesman stated.

Addidas spokesman did not comment, but a Birkenstock spokesman said the company was offering free "shoe security" bags, with a place for reporters and bloggers to put their name. And a Nike spokesman stated that their slogan, "Just do it," does not necessarily apply to shoe throwing.

Keith Olbermann is reported to have denied his past pursuit of shoe heaving leisure activities. "It was pigskin I was throwing with football buddies, not shoe leather," he offered as a lame excuse.

On Dailykos, Markos Moulitsas, in an attempt to prophylactically avoid acquiescing to FBI demands, has authorized a troll watch for shoe weaponry, targeting and related hosiery diaries.

Arriana Huffington reportedly claimed that she has not worn stiletto heels in at least ten years-- that they were not her style. She did add that huffpo had created a new Big page for shoe news.

Jane Hamsher, of firedoglake, already on the Secret Service watch list, at the request of Scooter Libby, has, according to the internet Wayback Machine, removed a recent posting on how to use nylons and a reporter's notepad to make a shoe slingshot.

Josh Marshall of talkingpointsmemo, has already put in an FOI to determine whether Native American made moccasins will be included in the new rules.

Joe Scarborough, of Morning Joe, was given an exclusion from the rules, but Mika Brezhinski was informed that she, along with her father, would be required to go barefoot.

Thom Hartmann, of Air America Radio described how, when Thomas Jefferson first met with the Chinese, he also, voluntarily removed his shoes, so, Hartmann, would be honored, in the spirit of Jefferson, to do the same with the inscrutable Bush.

Ed Schultz and Stefanie Miller of Jones Radio devoted an hour each to call-ins describing ways to throw shoes and fantasy shoe throw targets. Their seven second delay was invoked a8 times between the two of them. Producers explained most of them had to do with where callers wanted to plant the shoes.

David Swanson, of afterdowningstreet, asked if a decree like this, coming under the authorization of Bush, would be an impeachable offense.

Rachel Maddow, wearing five inch spike heels, behind her desk, and switching to Birkenstock flats, observed, "They've talked me down."

Phil Donahue explained that his shoes, as well as his show, were taken away from him in 2003, when his show, the highest rated on MSNBC, was shut down, because, MSNBC cited, of low viewership. An MSNBC memo later surfaced, stating that Donahue offered a "difficult public face for NBC in a time of war......He seems to delight in presenting guests who are anti-war, anti-Bush and skeptical of the administration's motives."

Jay Leno, soon to be hosting a 10 PM show that will probably have more political content than his late night show, was left with just one shoe-- the right foot-- and given a warning.

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