A close friend of mine has a successful career at a major corporation. Less than a year ago, she hit a personal bottom with alcoholism and entered treatment.She has stayed sober, and is fully engaged at work now that she is again in possession of all of her faculties.
Her boss, on the other hand, has taken a nasty view of my friend's admitted alcoholism and has illegally begun a campaign to force her from her job, deriding all of her work and giving her the worst performance review she's ever had in all her years at this enterprise. At the height of Shanay's drinking she earned the highest review she's ever had, and consistently earned the second highest review possible. Beyond the poor review this year, her boss has now created a hostile work environment with constant criticism.
My friend is not bellicose by nature, so when this nastiness began, she decided to look for work elsewhere.With the downturn in our economy, with outsourcing on the rise, with competition for well-paying positions fierce, and with her lack of formal education, the prospects don't bode well.After much input from trusted sources, she finally decided to stay and fight.
I respect and admire my friend's peaceful nature, and her plight reminded me what Independence Day is really about: fighting oppression.I wrote to her today:
Why We Must Sometimes Fight (even tho it always seems easier to avoid)
You're not just fighting for yourself over this whole ADA discrimination, but you're also stopping your boss (and potentially others) from treating other recovering alcoholics the same way. You're stopping that precedent - which in sociopolitical terms is the most important result. It protects future alkies from being discriminated against.
The world is full of heroes and heroines who never asked for that role - it was thrust upon them; their choice was to cave or fight. In that fight, whether they win or lose, they shine a light on the darkness enveloping them. They expose the wrongful actions for others to see.
Frederick Douglass, a freed slave who became a famous orator, said, "The limit of tyrants is prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress."
Edmund Burke (political theorist from the 18th c.) said, "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good [women] to do nothing."
This is not just your battle - altho it very much is at your feet. You fight for all people disabled by alcoholism, and who deserve to retain their jobs once they've begun recovering from that debilitating disease.
So don your shining armor, Shanay, and think of July 4th as independence from oppression - from the bottle and from ignorance. Remember, freedom is never granted; it can only be asserted.
In 2004, Rady Ananda joined the growing community of citizen journalists. Initially focused on elections, she investigated the 2004 Ohio election, organizing, training and leading several forays into counties to photograph the 2004 ballots. She officially served at three recounts, including the 2004 recount. She also organized and led the team that audited Franklin County Ohio's 2006 election, proving the number of voter signatures did not match official results. Her work appears in three books.
Her blogs also address religious, gender, sexual and racial equality, as well as environmental issues; and are sprinkled with book and film reviews on various topics. She spent most of her working life as a legal investigator for private lawyers, and five years as an editor. She currently serves as a senior editor at OpEdNews.
All material offered here is the property of Rady Ananda, copyright 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009. Permission is granted to repost, with proper attribution including the original link.
"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act." Tell the truth anyway.
Yes! Freedom is for the taking, requiring only that we reach for it, knowing it is our birthright. I just read a great JFK quote this morning - someone commented on his heroism in the war, and he quipped, "It was involuntary. They sank my boat." And then, indeed, we learn to swim!
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Meryl Ann Butler (53 articles, 61 quicklinks, 4 diaries, 531 comments)
on Friday, July 4, 2008 at 2:56:44 PM
I think it's got to be about the inner knowing of freedom, rather than "asserting" freedom, which seems to be "Protestething too much, methinks." When a person knows herself to be truly free, she doesn't need to assert anything. It's about being. And anyone, anywhere can be free - even in prison. I heard the utterly amazing Elie Weisel speak one time, what incredible peace! - he was free when he was in a concentration camp. Freedom is what we give ourselves, by the attitudes and perspectives we choose.
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Meryl Ann Butler (53 articles, 61 quicklinks, 4 diaries, 531 comments)
on Friday, July 4, 2008 at 10:47:46 PM
the hero's journey starts with a call that is oft rejected
Then, the call comes back harder, as in,... there aren't other jobs out there.
Once you accept the call, you usually need to find a mentor to help you cross the threshold, where there are threshold guardians.
Crossing the threshold gives you access to inner strengths you've never accessed or tapped before.
When you cross the threshold you are born into a new world and have to learn to walk, to develop new skills, find new allies and weapons.
Then you start down the road and you fall down, get up, fall down, face antagonists and have to fight... This is not all fun, not nearly.
You have to meet with the goddess, meet with and make at-one-ment with the father (re-evaluate your masculinity and femininity) and experience apotheosis-- rising to connect with god, or have a transformative experience.
You need to have a really big battle that almost kills you, which you escape with your life.
You need to celebrate little victories
YOu must have a bigger, nastier battle that you barely win, and only with the help of your newfound allies and resources.
THen you have to take the road home and be able to live in both worlds of home and the hero.
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Rob Kall (891 articles, 4057 quicklinks, 350 diaries, 1925 comments)
on Friday, July 4, 2008 at 9:28:02 PM
After all, she was doing so well on the job even at the peak of her alchoholism. If her boss had not known, he would never have ostracized her in this way. But once he found out, that changed his image of her. So he began to try to get rid of her.
It's sad how we judge others' handicaps, isn't it?
The guy has a choice here. He could look down on her, or he could think "wow, what amazing inner strength and intelligence that woman has to be able to do so well when struggling with an uncrontrallable drinking urge". He also could have thought "Bravo, a feat of courage and victory" when she stopped drinking. But no, that is not what he chose. Instead, he chose to be, frankly....a snob.
Sounds to me like the friend needs legal help. But that gets politically complicated too, of course. I wish I knew the solution. My heart goes out to her. Thanks for posting this story, Rady, because as you stress, it surely illustrates the plight of many others. Maybe we all could help by writing similar true stories to the editors and providing people with another point of view to replace their judgemental ones. Just a thought.
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Kathryn Smith (105 articles, 2 quicklinks, 42 diaries, 479 comments)
on Friday, July 4, 2008 at 9:31:52 PM
The boss defintely reacted to having his image of Shanay rearranged... lol. good point, Kathryn.
She has sought legal counsel, and is taking all the nec'y steps - even if this means she hit the glass ceiling, it's still better than being in a new job, at half the pay, and with none of the seniority and accrued benefits.
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Rady Ananda (133 articles, 300 quicklinks, 38 diaries, 1229 comments)
on Friday, July 4, 2008 at 11:08:20 PM
Kudos to Shanay for her strength and courage to face her demons and follow a difficult path to enlightenment and growth. It seems so unfair to then have to fight a battle at her place of employment. Perhaps some insight into the corporate dynamics would lessen her need to respond from such a defensive posture. When you are up to your a$$ in alligators it's hard to remember your original intention was to drain the swamp!
Let's examine some of those alligators. No doubt the alcoholism is the focal point but I suspect other issues are involved. Unfortunately and all too often people bring their dysfunctional family dynamics into the workplace and recreate this sickness at a corporate level. If indeed this supervisor is isolating Shanay for her abuse in direct conflict with past excellent reviews, I suspect this is about the supervisor and not Shanay.
Understanding this should be of some comfort to Shanay and hopefully she would be able to not personalize the attacks and be able to respond from a less defensive stance. Good luck Shanay.
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Ken Howard (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 1 comments)
on Saturday, July 5, 2008 at 8:09:59 AM
It is stupid, foolish, wrong, vengeful and sad, but there are too many people who punish others for who they were.
A good friend befriended Karla Faye Tucker, the first woman executed in Texas in many years. She'd done something horrendous. But during the time she spent in prison, she transformed to become a good person-- from a caterpillar to a butterfly-- as he described it. Yet she suffered for what she had done. This is an indictment on a failed society. Of course, the man who could have stopped the sad occurrence was George Bush.
We all make mistakes. All we can do, once we wake up, once we dig deeper and find the better person inside ourselves, is to go on doing the best we can, and that includes fighting for who we have become. The hero's journey MUST include conflict. We must fight to become and be that better person.
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Rob Kall (891 articles, 4057 quicklinks, 350 diaries, 1925 comments)
on Saturday, July 5, 2008 at 8:21:55 AM
"Of course, the man who could have stopped the sad occurrence was George Bush."
I wonder how much forgiveness we should show toward oppressors? I think that in Bush's instance we should keep kicking him long after he is down. At times I think I should give it a rest for the sake of my own peace, but then I think about all the harm that he has done and see no signs of contrition and realize that I am locked into a vendetta that has to continue to the bitter end. I would love to give it up. I hate to feel like I am locked into this dance, particularly with this unworthy dance partner. I try in my own way through contemplative prayer to get centered and be at peace with the world and think on how I can build rather than tear down......but then I'm in a waiting room, in a restaurant, even in a tire store and I see him on TV saying something mean and stupid once again and I'm off to the races.
Looking back at Nixon, it looked like moving along and forgetting was the right thing to do. In retrospect, it was a mistake since the Republicans were let off the hook and it left so much pathological ideology intact. And of course it all came to full fruition under Bush.
The saying goes "Chose your enemies carefully, because you will become like them." and then I think it was St. Paul who told us how worthy it was to "fight the good fight". I am having a hard time trying to reconcile all of this.
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vidiot (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 262 comments)
on Saturday, July 5, 2008 at 11:59:11 AM
it's INTOLERANCE of anything they think is less than "normal".
However, everyone has their problems!
Having been sober for more than two decades, I have seen the most horrible forms of discrimination for what is merely a health issue. Alcoholism really is just a disease; it's not a moral failing nor something anyone cannot acquire. As we say in 12-step groups; it is no respector of age, class, race, sex, or anything else. It's an equal opportunity destroyer if discrimination is allowed to flourish.
Despite all the best efforts of millions to combate the stigma, diseases of addiction provide cover for many who want to discriminate.
After years of not looking after your health, it is very difficult to not fall into being a victim and not standing up for yourself. But it CAN be done.
As in any other form of employment discrimination, it's important to 1. get a lawyer; 2. put everything down in writing that is said against a recovering person at the workplace; 3. keep a diary of events to use in a court of law; 4. find tons of support as you fight back - and with alchoholics, AA is a real fine place to find some. For the last, there are millions in AA who know all about this stuff, as they are the real experts on alcoholism and its effects. In fact, the Big Book deals specifically with employers, has a whole chapter on it.
I AM A victim of the so-called War on Drugs myself. I know all about discrimination even though I haven't touched a single substance in well over two decades, yet my mistakes are still held against me. So very sad, but true.
FEAR has had a free ride for decades; love is the answer. I think one of the most revolutionary acts will be the repeal of the War on Drugs and a mass campaign about the TRUTH about any addictions and real reform of how to combat this discrimination has got to be one of the very first priorities of this business of finding a new way of relating between us fellow of the human race. Those who confront their demons are the real heroes of our time !
There are PLENTY of Congresscritters who are alcoholics and addicts (as we know) and we must keep up the pressure for these antidiscrimination programs. I rarely see any politician without acute addiction problems themselves.
One of the things that makes me angriest is the accusations about BuZh's cocaine usage and his alcoholism being unaddressed in the media. I thought Conyers asking Scottie McC about BuZh's cocaine use very interesting.
Alcohol is merely a drug; a liquid drug. Any demonization of any users of drugs should simply be stopped. They've used this process to build up mighty fortresses to put away innocent victims for way too long. We know the War on Drugs is one of the things that has bankrupted America !! And yet you rarely read anything about it in the press at all - likes it's dropped "under the radar" which is unbelievable to me, at least.
Demonization of people with any problem at all must and should be stopped. And we should celebrate anyone with the courage to get help, no matter what it is.
So if you are reading still - I offer my hand out in support and say "FIGHT BACK".
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ladybroadoak (38 articles, 20 quicklinks, 12 diaries, 391 comments)
on Saturday, July 5, 2008 at 8:36:54 AM
Thanks, Lady Broad Oak. AA has been fighting the stigma for over 70 years, yet we still have it. And as you point out, addiction is a human frailty that crosses all socioeconomic, racial, and sexual divides.
A stranger wrote to me directly about this piece, saying in part:
In this day and age, it's hard to believe that such bigotry exists; but it does and in fact, it seems to be getting worse.
I have been in AA for 13 years in recovery. Please tell your friend that there are many who are supporting her fight and wishing her well. My heart goes out to her and I hope she sues the hell out of them. What is happening to her is just plain cruel, especially to a recovering person who is trying not to drink, and doesn't need this kind of harassment and stress.
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Rady Ananda (133 articles, 300 quicklinks, 38 diaries, 1229 comments)
on Saturday, July 5, 2008 at 3:37:23 PM
someone to clue me in on the "apology" letter that AA requires of addicts. I received one last year that did nothing to make me feel any better...but sure seemed to absolve the addict who totally used and abused me. Addict is fine and I am still wrecked..so what is THAT all about.
Makes me think AA is some kind of cult.
that "apology" letter did more than than good. Seriously, I want to know...made me take up drinking, actually.
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Georgianne Nienaber (145 articles, 46 quicklinks, 13 diaries, 337 comments)
on Saturday, July 5, 2008 at 7:15:49 PM
I am a recovering addict. The purpose of a letter of apology is for the addict to admit what he or she did wrong to hurt others. It is not a manipulation to get you to accept what the addict did. Addicts and alcoholics are sick. They do some nasty things. They hurt an awful lot of good people. They have to forgive themselves to stay sober. They also need to admit what they did and ask for understanding. It is your call. I was forced out of my job in a presitgous rehab. They knew I was a recovering addict. When I tested positive for H.I.V. they canned me. At the time my life expectancy was such that it wasn't worth the fight legally. They set you up and make it hard to prove the conection to your alcoholism. If you have positive evaluations you can win. Don't quit. . I had a different situation than you. I would fight. It is in my nature. Alcoholics have more credibility in court than heroin addicts. There are plenty of alcoholic judges. The most important thing is to stay sober. Get support from the folks in A.A. Don't feel any shame for fighting back. We suffer from the disease of addiction. It takes much courage to struggle with this disease. Fight for yourself and all the rest to come. If it threatens your sobriety it aint worth it. I have 24 years clean. I still practice as a substance abuse counselor. Good luck. As long as you stay sober your life will get better and better.
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robert braunstein (36 articles, 0 quicklinks, 17 diaries, 131 comments)
on Sunday, July 6, 2008 at 4:26:09 PM
