Fill-in-the-Blank Protesting Services

WELCOME TO THE WORLD’S FIRST AND FOREMOST PROTESTING SERVICE

FILL-IN-THE-BLANK PROTESTING SERVICE

Serving Tijuana, Mexicali, and up and down the border areas from California to New Mexico, as well as all of Southern California and Arizona, including Phoenix.

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We want to be your one-stop bazaar for all your protesting needs. We offer many different packages at your dispeptide. Our services include: government protesting, New World Order clashing, environmental conflicting (both sides), marriages(couples) picketing, anniversary disputing, birthday gripes, graduation objections, tijerales manifestos en español, baptism complaining, as well as many other types of protests. We possess an array of protesting products on the first level, crayon coloring books and the whole necessary apparel to expire with the requested purchase. We have personnel specializing in thematic protests venues, such as, kitchen areas, boys and girls clubs, sleazy biker bars, hootenannies, bucket of blood resorts, as well as other well-known protest locales and events. We do heckling, chanting, bird calling, barnyard animal noises, as well as many other quadruped grunts. Consultations or references do not hesitate to be contacted with us as professional.

PLAN SIMPLE – THE PETIT PROTEST   COST: $1,000

Includes: one to ten protesters five of whom are carrying signs with customer’s verbiage clearly spelled out. Will expend up to two miles of marching, one mile to and one mile back; for a total time of no more than two hours. One speech under fifteen minutes can be planned anytime inside those two hours, but applauding is extra.

PLAN JUNIOR – THE WAKE UP PROTEST   COST: $2,500

Includes: up to twenty protesters w/ten carrying signs with customer’s verbiage AND pictures clearly spelled out. Will expend up to four miles of marching, two miles to and two miles back, for a total time of no more than three hours. Several speeches under fifteen minutes can be planned anytime inside those three hours, but applauding is extra.

PLAN DU JOUR – THE IN YOUR FACE PROTEST   COST: $2,500

Includes: up to thirty protesters w/fifteen carrying signs with customer’s verbiage and pictures clearly spelled out AND three other protesters carrying bullhorns. Will expend  up to four miles of marching, two miles to and two miles back, for a total time of no more than four hours. Speeches up to thirty minutes can be planned anytime inside those three hours, AND regular applauding is included. Any type of mosh pit style protesting will carry a 10% additional cost plus purchaser is responsible for all medical expenses.

PLAN DELUXE – THE REVOLUTION IS NOW PROTEST   COST: $5,000

Includes: up to fifty protesters w/twenty carrying signs with customer’s verbiage and pictures clearly spelled out AND five other protesters carrying bullhorns and packing .44 caliber magnum pistols with hollow-point depleted Uranium bullets. Will expend up to six miles of marching, three miles to and three miles back; for a total time of no more than four hours. Speeches up to thirty minutes can be planned anytime inside those four hours, AND standing ovations are included. Mosh pit style protesting during the speeches will be included provided that the purchaser has a waiver from their insurance company written on White House letterhead.

PLAN KILLER – THE ARMAGEDDON IS HERE PROTEST   COST: $25,000

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