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China, Bound

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There he goes again. This time President Chucklenuts is off to Asia to visit a handful of countries - including China on the opening day of the Olympics - as he spends the next seven days pissing off heads of state, embarrassing career U.S. embassy staffs, making goofy remarks at inopportune times, and demonstrating yet again the utter stupidity that the rest of the civilized world is convinced must be rampant in the U.S.

How else to explain the election of this fool? Twice. Surely the American people were capable of selecting a president whose general leadership qualities were more focused than, say, the membership coordinator of a college fraternity already suspended for campus drug abuse and harassing sorority girls, right?

Regarding the reaction of the citizens of the repressive states in which Bush will be playing diplomatic grab-ass, Kenneth Roth, executive director of Human Rights Watch, is quoted in today's Washington Post, "Chinese people will seize the opportunity through peaceful protest to advance their own freedom agenda, the Chinese government will crack down, and President Bush will look awful if he ignores the repression around him and simply applauds the athletes."

Kenneth Roth is correct, of course. Bush would "look awful." But, to whom? Can you imagine George W. Bush raising questions about torture, illegal detention and extra-judicial executions?  In China?  How ludicrous would it be for the man who put his imprimatur on cozy little interrogation rooms and execution centers such as Guantanamo, Abu Ghraib, Bagram Air Base, Diego Garcia, not to mention the kidnappings and illegal international flights known as "rendition" in order to flush away the trail of yet another Bush torture victim - how inappropriate for that man to raise the question of whether or not China was still a police state that places zero value on the life, humanity or legal rights of its citizens.

So, what is Bush to do? Protest the crimes against humanity committed by a major violator of international human rights laws and protocols? With his record? Please. The Chinese leaders would simply slap him on the back, raise a toast of huáng jiǔ, and remind him that China owns the monetary system of the U.S., not to mention the means of production of all that worthless crap the near-bankrupt Americans still seem to love to accumulate. So, sit down, Honorable President, and watch the next event. It's the javelin throw.

Which is exactly what he will do. Sit down. Grin. Ask idiotic questions. ("Hey, if its such a Great Wall, how come its all fallen down and crumbly lookin'? Heh-heh-heh-heh . . . Hey, you know why it's called a javelin? heh-heh-heh-heh")

Bush's trip to Seoul, South Korea, will be met with hysterical protesters who are really, really, pissed off because their government has decided to start again importing U.S. beef. Yeah, beef. Let's take to the streets over beef. (Let that sink in a moment.) The South Koreans believe U.S. beef may contain the so-called "mad cow" virus and for some reason think their physical health is more important than international trade deals designed to benefit massive agri-businesses based in the U.S. The nerve.



While Bush is in Thailand, he will probably have great difficulty keeping his dates straight since the official calendar in that country is based on the Eastern version of the Buddhist Era, which is 543 years ahead of the Gregorian (Western) calendar. For example, the year AD 2008 is called 2551 BE in Thailand. Got that?

Why do we care where Bush goes at this late date in his presidency? We are in a holding pattern. It is difficult to breathe. The next presidential election in the U.S. is in three months. Bush can go wherever, and so many of us wish he would do just that. Go. Get lost. You have fucked things up so severely, George, it's going to take decades to repair your damage.

Enjoy the Olympics.

Oh, and the word javelin comes from Middle English and it derives from Old French javeline a diminutive of javelot which meant spear. The word javelot probably originated from the Celtic language.

Anything else, Chucklenuts?

 

www.mikemalloy.com

Mike Malloy is a former writer and producer for CNN (1984-87) and CNN-International (2000). His professional experience includes newspaper columnist and editor, writer, rock concert producer and actor. He is the only radio talk show host in America to have received the A.I.R (Achievement in Radio) Award in both (more...)
 
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