First, over 30 women have come out reporting very similar experiences with Bill Cosby-- going on a date, getting drugged, waking up having been sexually assaulted without their consent.
Finally-- I mean, enough is enough-- the New York Times has published Excerpts From Bill Cosby's Deposition
, which starts out saying:
"Over the course of four days in 2005 and 2006, Bill Cosby answered questions posed to him by a lawyer for a woman, Andrea Constand, who said Mr. Cosby had drugged and molested her. In the questioning, conducted by Ms. Constand's lawyer, Dolores M. Troiani, Mr. Cosby denied that he had sexually assaulted Ms. Constand or other women who surfaced during that case with their own accounts of being preyed upon by Mr. Cosby. But he did acknowledge that he had used powerful sedatives to lure women for sex and employed multiple strategies to keep his wife, Camille, from finding out.
With such a history it is hard for me to not conclude that Cosby has lived much of his life as a serial, predatory psychopath. There are some lessons here-- most important that people who seem like really nice guys are not always what they seem.
First, Cosby developed a reputation, persona, mask of being a kindhearted, paternal, gentle person. It's pretty clear to me that he was a rapacious, deceptive, exploitive creature. I wouldn't use the word animal because animals, even carnivorous predators don't act that way.
The deposition reveals that Cosby went to a doctor to obtain Qualude prescriptions, though he had no intention to use them on himself. I think that's a crime-- misleading a doctor to distribute drugs to others. Psychopaths do crimes like this often and the smart ones rarely get caught. I think it is reasonable to speculate that wealthy, famous and powerful psychopaths routinely cross the lines of legality. The deposition reveals that Cosby bought the silence of some of his victims, using his agent at the William Morris Agency to funnel the money, so his wife would not know about it.
I'm writing this because, a few years ago, if someone said that Bill Cosby was a psychopath, most people would have probably said I was crazy. I'll go a step further. I speculate that Bill Cosby is also a narcissist. Why? Because just about every psychopath is also a narcissist-- someone who doesn't care about other people, except how they can serve his needs. Psychopaths don't care and that is a narcissistic trait. But... the smart psychopath knows how to put on an act to maintain the persona he or she has created.
I asked a psychopath I interviewed
, the pseudonymous author of Confessions of a Sociopath (but in her introduction she revealed that tests had revealed her to be a psychopath) what signs to look for to detect a sociopath. She advised to look for long eye contact that could indicate a predatory gaze. Psychopaths look at you like you are going to be their lunch-- metaphorically, at least.
Cosby was and is really funny. Psychopaths are charismatic. They're great with people. That's partly because they are very cool under stress. It's the way they are built physiologically. Their minds work like cold crystals, filtering the world in terms of how to callously manipulate, get over and exploit. Humor is a powerful tool that can be used to disarm natural defenses that people use to protect themselves.
Psychopaths, especially the smart ones, know how to find your pain and exploit it to build your trust and get you to let down your guard so they can advance their predatory goals.
Cosby also used false compassion to advance his sexual predations, as the deposition clearly demonstrated:
" Q. She says that she stayed with you and that you began talking about her career and asking about her father who had died of cancer. Does any of that ring a bell with you?
Q. Do you remember talking about that?
Q. Do you remember what else you talked about?
A. That's enough.
Q. Did you ask her those questions because you wanted to have sexual contact with her?
A. Yes. "
It's hard not to see Cosby as a monster in the light of the revelations that have come out. Since most experts say that there is very little that can be done to cure psychopaths-- that some therapies even make them worse-- I don't expect that he will ever feel regret, except, perhaps, for having been caught. I do feel compassion for him. He, as the pathological narcissistic Psychopath I believe he is, in my opinion, unable to do the kinds of things most humans do-- feel compassion, love (except for himself) empathy, kindness. From what I understand, such people, no matter what they do, have an emptiness inside them.
I'm no saint. I also feel contempt for Cosby-- for his misdeeds and because he misled me and millions of others. But I'd love to hear from people who walk a less blemished path of kindness and compassion, like the Dalai Lama, for example, on how they handle people like Cosby, and how they think of them with compassion.
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