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How Far Will Reality TV Go?

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Schmera points her finger at Tom and shrieks: "Schluga mirshta chuchka guntz, shtupken xjartukis fleister gobluminczmb!"

(Schmera stomps out of the studio - Tom turns to Hiram and Tanya)

"Can either of you tell me what she said? I don't think she was wishing me happy birthday."

"I can."

"All right, Tanya, tell me what Schmera's parting shot was."

"It's an old Hungarian curse: May your testicles shrivel like prunes and dry up and fall off your body leaving you less than a man."

"Whoa, that sounds pretty awful. Do curses like that actually work?"

"From someone like her they do."

"What do you say Hiram, should I take it seriously?"

"I'm afraid so, Tom."

"Golly, it sounds like I'm in deep dookie. Is there anything I can do about it? Tanya?"

"Yes, but it will cost you big bucks."

"What's big bucks?"

"A hundred thousand dollars."

"One hundred thousand dollars? For a gypsy curse?"

"How much are your testicles worth to you, Tom?"

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Leni Matlin was born in NYC and attended Brooklyn College before moving to California in his twenties. For the better part of his adult life, he has worked as a musician (keyboards / vocals) and played in more bands then he can remember, while (more...)
 

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