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Koch Brothers Buy Ayn Rand Corpse

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It is shocking how many Conservatives have Ayn Rand books in their bookshelves.

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nutria by naturally curly

It was possibly reported by NewsBusters this morning that the Koch brothers payed the estate of the writer, Ayn Rand, 487 million dollars for her dead body.

David and Charles Koch, reportedly, have been in negotiations with the Rand estate for the past seven months, finally coming to an agreement this morning. It was supposedly reported, earlier this year, that the brothers had also been in negotiations with the estate of Robert Henry Welch Jr.(founder of the John Birch Society), also attempting to purchase his cadaver. The purpose of this unusual purchase, according to a possible insider, is DNA mining.



Ayn Rand by DonkeyHotey

It has been, anecdotally, reported for many years, that local men hunting nutria around the Koch Industries Corpus Christi, Texas refinery have seen strange goings on not related to petroleum refining. One individual in particular, a Mr. Patois, is purported to have seen a Chevy van, with the word "cloning" written on the side, enter the suspect area. Unfortunately Mr. Patois passed away last year after accidentally ingesting thermal set printers ink. However, there reportedly are many other hunters that have witnessed the odd comings and goings at the refinery.


It was supposedly reported to NewsBusters, by the possible insider, that Charles Koch, along with his brother, are Ayn Rand Devotees and are especially devoted to her novel "Atlas Shrugged" and its main character, John Galt. Galt personifies Rand's philosophy of 'Objectivism'. Rand's creation of the Galt character and of her previous hero, Howard Roark, may have been influenced by the life of William Edward Hickman. Hickman was a kidnapper, murderer, and petty thief. He was most famous for kidnapping, murdering, and dismembering Marion Parker, a 12 year-old girl.


The purported objective of the Koch brothers is to create a new and quickened Howard Roark, by introducing Mrs. Rand's DNA into an, unnamed, young Mississippi architect. Their intent appears to have something to do with Conservative politics or a new heroic architecture that stands, selfishly, alone, buttressed by the ideals of an outlet mall.


 

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Kevin is (writing about yourself in the third person (illeism) is a trip) an artist/writer/carpenter and frustrated songwriter living in Johnson City, Texas. His latest frustrating songwriting attempt is titled, "I Touched the Hand That Touched (more...)
 

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Is this article true or a joke? I assume it's real... by Jack Shneidman on Sunday, Jan 29, 2012 at 2:32:52 PM
 If only we could be so lucky as to have thos... by trog69 on Sunday, Jan 29, 2012 at 9:01:26 PM
This writer claims to be "concerned" about lots of... by James Peron on Monday, Jan 30, 2012 at 3:17:24 AM
This was obviously satire.  I think sometimes... by Kevin Tully on Monday, Jan 30, 2012 at 9:38:45 AM