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March 28, 2008
The hard-Right's latest push-poll survey.
By Ed Tubbs
On the Godfather's advice to keep my friends close, but my enemies closer, I subscribe to the GOP's far right Internet rag, Human Events (HumanEventsOnline.com). For elucidation purposes only, I cannot recommend too highly the free subscription. You've really got to see what they're saying, and what they're up to. The news would shock few, however it is extraordinarily informative.
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On the Godfather's advice to keep my friends close, but my enemies closer, I subscribe to the GOP's far right Internet rag, Human Events (HumanEventsOnline.com). For elucidation purposes only, I cannot recommend too highly the free subscription. You've really got to see what they're saying, and what they're up to. The news would shock few, however it is extraordinarily informative.
Yesterday, HE published their version of a "survey." However, before I post an absolutely unvarnished, unedited copy of the "survey," I'd like to prepare you for what the RNC (and likely Fox News) considers an honest "survey" should look like.
While I lived in Bradenton, Florida a few years ago, I was recovering from the local 55+ senior mobile home park mail center a quite senior's mail. One envelope in particular quaked my otherwise static interest. It was from the RNC (Republican National Committee).
Yeah, yeah, yeah . . . so indict me: In full knowledge it was a clear violation of US postal regulations the envelope was opened before it got to the intended recipient. In fact, the article never reached the intended recipient. Enclosed was one of the RNC's tamer "push-polls."
A more egregious example of such a survey question might have read something like this: "If you knew that bleeding-heart liberal senator John Kerry regularly had sex with an underage Muslim male terrorist, would you (A.) Feel it was a private matter between Kerry and the terrorist? (B) Have no opinion, one way, or another? (C.) Feel President Bush should stay the course in his honorable struggle against the terrorists who want to destroy America and their immoral, America-hating Democratic supporters?
"Can you help President Bush with a (A.) $50.00 donation, (B.) $100.00 donation, (C.) $500.00 donation, (D.) 5555-5555-5555-5555 is my credit card account number, take whatever you want, I hate those commie loving Democrats."
Ready? Now, pay very close attention to the word choices. Here goes: (http://www.nrcc.org/survey/default.asp?ID=226)
1. Do you support the House Democrats' "slow-bleed" strategy to "choke-off" funding for our troops in Iraq, leading to their withdrawal and a perception of American defeat?
2. Should Republicans continue fighting for full implementation of a ballistic missile defense system?
3. Do you agree with the Nancy Pelosi Democrat Majority’s decision to impose massive tax hikes on the American people? (Break from the copy, because I really loved this one. Nancy Pelosi, and all Democrats, secretly lie awake nights just trying to scheme how to “impose massive tax hikes on the American people.”)
4. Do you support making all of the Bush tax cuts permanent?
5. Do you think that House Republicans should continue to push for pro-growth policies that create jobs and oppose tax increases that would add a burden to working families and set back our economy?
6. Do you support Congressional Republicans’ efforts to decrease domestic government spending in order to reduce the national deficit?
7. Do you support the Democrats’ efforts to give federal government bureaucrats complete control of your health care costs and choices?
8. Should Republicans in Congress make expansion of Veterans’ benefits a priority?
9. Do you support maintaining anti-terrorism laws that give law enforcement and intelligence agencies the far-reaching powers to track, detain and prosecute terrorists and their accomplices?
10. Should Republicans in the House of Representatives make securing our nation’s borders and enforcing our nation’s immigration laws, including combating the hiring of illegal workers and ending the "catch and release" policy a top priority?
11. Do you think House Republicans should continue fighting for comprehensive education reform to ensure that every child in America receives a first-rate education?
12. (Another copy break. Brace yourself. This is incredible, so don’t skim a single syllable. Savor every inflection.) Do you agree that winning back a Republican Majority in the House of Representatives is essential to stopping the Nancy Pelosi Democrats from raising our taxes, destroying our economy (emphasis mine) and endangering our homeland? (ditto)
(Toward disclosure, I don’t have any Republican “friends.” If someone voted GOP, he or she cannot, by definition, be my “friend.” Nor do I have a single Republican relative. Regardless what DNA might prove, if someone who voted GOP shares my bloodline, I have disowned them; excommunicated them, so to speak, from any relationship we might otherwise share. Such I will not permit to dirty my threshold, nor befoul my air.)
Even a cursory reading of the “survey” must lead you to ponder whether the Republican leaders regard their membership so stupid, so naïve, so gullible, so uninformed, or so shamelessly evil that something like the above will evoke anything other than embarrassment.
From January, 1995 through December, 2006 Republicans controlled the House of Representatives. That’s a fact, Jack. When George the bushmaster (a bushmaster is a venomous snake that slithers through the grass, by the way.) was appointed president by the Supreme Court in 2001, he went in with a solid budget surplus that so troubled Alan Greenspan that he lay awake nights, anxious that the National Debt might really be paid off.! Recall that Republicans were so enamored of Clinton’s economic plan that not a single Republican voted for it, and that “family-values-but-later-removed-from-his-post-for-minor-ethical-slips” House Majority Leader Gingrich shut the government down in a contest of wills with President Clinton.
In re Question 12, I’m straining hard to imagine the “economy,” to paraphrase the dishonored Honorable Donny-boy Rumsfeld, the one we wish we had but the one we have, has been much of a benefit to any American — Republican, Democrat, Independent, or Nonaligned-I-Don’t-Give-A-Damn-so-I-Don’t-Vote — who doesn’t concomitantly reside in the airy top five percent such that there’s much left to destroy. Once you’ve suffered wage stagnation, once you’ve lost your job, once you’ve lost your healthcare, once you’ve lost your house and your life savings . . . how much more is there to lose?
As to “endangering our homeland,” I’ll let the undisputed evidence, how the Bushies so loathed anything that was the least Clintonian that they were not the least interested in the pre-Inauguration security briefings on bin Laden and the emerging terrorist threat, speak for itself.
Finally, on a personal note, I find Question 8 the most repugnant of all. It suggests what is a total lie: that Republicans over the past seven years supported America’s military veterans. On vote, after vote, after vote, the GOP fought tooth-and-nail Democratic efforts to treat “he who has borne the burden” with dignity, with respect, and with funding for services the vet earned via service to the country. Attaboy pats on the back and laudatory “support the troops” speeches on the floor were of tidal wave intensity. But spend the bucks commensurate with those words?
It’s just not within the smaller government Republican paradigm, and the GOP met every nuance of their philosophy when it came to America’s veterans. Too bad for the veterans they were not corporate chieftains. Had that been the case, “damn the torpedoes” and damn right! What d’ya need, you got it. Hundreds of billions in no-bid contracts that defraud, waste and abuse, that will never be investigated (they hoped!)? “¡No problemo!” Hundred of billions in bailout? “¡Hey man! Weez homies, me an’ you, right! We gotta stick together Bro. How much you need? Whoa . . . man, here, take some moe! Shee-it Dude, it’s the taxpayers so we doan worry none ‘bout that!” Tax breaks that break the federal bank? “Ah, c’mon man! I know ya’all cain’t hardly manage anymo’e with that hundred mil salary. Like, I know: a hundred mil doan go as far as it used ta. So howz ‘bout we give ya some help? How much a break ya’all need? Like I said, weez homies, right?”
So there you have it.
— Ed Tubbs