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October 22, 2006

WHY DID THE PRESIDENT SAY HE'S NEVER BEEN, "STAY THE COURSE?" A New Opednew.com Poll

By Steve mcqueen

Presidential Lie Poll

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"We've never been 'stay the course,' George!"

This was President Bush's response to George Stephanopoulos referring to James Baker's presumed Iraq strategy which Stephanopoulos said is somewhere between "stay the course" and "cut and run."

Since the President, his administration and every single Republican, including Joe Lieberman, have used the phrase hundreds of times, and many of those times they have been recorded by these new fangled machines that have this uncanny capability to play back what you said - in your own voice yet -the President must have had a good reason for saying he's never been "stay the course," when of course, that's all he's ever been.

Of course, sometime Monday, Tony Snow will be asked how the President could say something so obviously untrue. Below are some of the possible answers Snow will give. Please vote for your favorite reason when you comment. If you think you have a better reason that isn't listed, you may submit a write in vote for your reason that will become part of the updated poll. The results will be posted on Tuesday morning and we'll see if you're up for the job of Presidential spokesliar.

Please, only vote once. This isn't Ohio.

1. The President has a bad memory.

2. It depends what your definition of "been" is.

3. He lied.

4. What he says is only a comma in time and he can go back in time anytime he wishes to erase it.

5. Saying you've "never been 'stay the course' is the same thing as saying you have been "stay the course."

6. Hey, look! Mark Foley.

7. We'll have to wait until later in the day to find out from Sean Hannity why what the President said was in fact, the truth.

8. The President believes that "1984" is a "How To Do Government" guide.

9. You try downing a court of Tequila then going on national TV. And, yeah, I said "court," which is the way the President likes to spell it, okay?

10. You try giving another interview the same week that asswipe O'Reilly used you to promote himself and his book.

11. Just because you say something doesn't mean you "been" it.

12. Isn't anyone aware that pointing out the President's comment is undermining the troops?

13. First of all, no one can "been" "stay the course, so your question is based on a false presumption that is grammatically hypothetical at best, and I'm not up here to answer hypothetical questions.

14. He's got the brains of a freaking tree stump. How do I know why the hell he says what he says?

15. He was too busy reading all those books lately so... I'm sorry, even I couldn't get that one out.

16. He never said that.

17. No, he didn't

18. Helen, I'm not going to get into a "he said, she said" thing with you.

19. The President doesn't give a good shit what the American public thinks about what he says. If he did he wouldn't be sending any more American kids to their death in record numbers, the bastard.

*The Openews.com Poll is a made-up poll by Steve Young (www.greatfailure.com) and is about as scientific as President Bush's stem cell decision.

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