Trump's Foreign Policy Harangue Exposes The GOP Frontrunner As A Novice

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Oh heck, just when I as starting to think that Donald J. Trump was going "presidential." Yeah, I know he's going to "Make America Great Again""blah, blah, blah (yawn, yawn). Then the man goes and gives a prime time, foreign policy speech. Yah! Ole Trumpie, fresh off his clobbering of his two Republican challengers -- Trump "Mini-Me" Cruz and John "Me Too" Kasich -- I guess it was in order to show people that you know your foreign policy onions.

Granted, Trumpie's forays into the complex world of foreign policy were unmitigated disasters -- ban Muslims from entering the US, bomb the "sh**t out of ISIS and "get NATO nations to pay their fair share." So, to show us all that he's not a real life dud the Big Trumpie goes on the offensive and delivers his "major foreign policy speech."

I have to tell you that I'll-Make-America-Great-Again -Trump's hands are small! Small when compared with his overall physical size. That's why he's so sensitive about them. Ahhh, maybe the wonker, shlong thing is what's bugging the guy; seems to me the wee weenie story just got some legs!

But let me get back to The Donald's foreign policy jambalaya -- can't call it a speech (not because he gave it standing woodenly at a podium to sporadic but somewhat muted applause). "We have to be unpredictable," (on foreign policy) Mr. Trump said with a constipated bathroom grimace on his face. Adding this important tidbit: "ISIS will be gone, very, very quickly (when he's president of the United States.)

Waxing incoherently and disjointedly, Donald Trump now rip roaringly drunk on his own ego, lurched from one unsubstantiated statement to jaw dropping hyperbole after another, sometimes throwing red meat to the unwashed Republican Party's faithful and at other times creating the caricature of President Obama that could aptly give credence to a new children's reading book called "Puff Obama The Magic Politician." Or maybe a TV reality show starring DT of course?

Stating that Obama caused the United States to lose "massive monies" from its relationship with China, this somehow by a miracle of economic osmosis translated into the president's not protecting Christians from genocide in Iraq and elsewhere ergo "we have to help them, we've done nothing to help them." And keeping on this lurching, erratic course Mr. Trump soon concluded with great philosophical wit that "ISIS is now making millions and millions selling Libyan oil."

Have you ever watched the children's TV comic series Phineas and Ferb? Trump reminds me greatly of Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, the main antagonist in the series, who dreams up all kinds of schemes and plans to take over the "tri-state area." Doofenshmirtz is usually given to long monologues. Trying to impress TV viewers with his knowledge of American foreign policy and history, Trump launched into America's greatness and how "we saved the world in 1940" during the Secord World War. He then said that America was great again, for the second time in her history, when "we won the Cold War" and defeated communism. Presumably, the Third Greatness of America (like the Third Reich?) will come when he's president.

But after the Cold War? American and World History according to Donald Trump (required reading, by the way) said that "we made mistake after mistake and we replaced logic with foolishness and arrogance." Trump concluded that American foreign policy from that time on had "no focus, no purpose, and no direction."

Naturally, "I'm the only one who could fix this," he said beating his own drum. And for good measure Trump stated the core message of his foreign policy: "America first." As proof of this he opined that President Obama and Hillary Clinton, the Democratic Party's front-runner, had caused this real mess. Obama, Trump thundered, has created a "huge debt," did not secure the border, and was rebuilding other countries."

"Obama made Iran a great, great power," Trump said incredulously without explaining how in under eight years did Obama the Magician accomplish his complex task. No wait, here's his proof: "I'm sick of the deals he made."

Earth to Trump Doofenshmirtz: the Iran Deal was not unilaterally negotiated by President Obama and the United States but by the leaders of the United Kingdom, France, Russia, Germany, France, China, the European Union. Guess this is what "unpredictability" in foreign means. Then the quickly got back on track and lurched from the hilarious to the utterly extreme:

"Our military dominance MUST be unquestioned and I mean unquestioned by anybody," Trump said in a harangue that bore chilly comparisons and resemblance to Ole Adolf Hitler. Then not satisfied with that he launched into a full frontal attack on globalization adding that the "the nation state is the true measure of progress." Here I think that I'll just kinda educate Ole Trumpie.

My dear Doofie, as the bishop said to the actress as he tried to lift her dress, globalization is the tendency of businesses, technologies, or philosophies to spread throughout the world, or the process of making this happen. The global economy is sometimes referred to as a globality, characterized as a totally interconnected marketplace, unhampered by time zones or national boundaries.

And a nation state is a sovereign state whose citizens or subjects are relatively homogeneous in factors such as language or common descent.

The point, dear chap, is that the two are NOT the same. Globalization is about business, technology and the global economy. A nation state is a SOCIAL construct about a people and a common and shared heritage.

Phew! Who the heck is writing that stuff for you Donald? You should tell them that "You're Fired!" This was not a foreign policy speech; it was a jumbled mass of incoherent nonsense -- at best. But I like your military math:

1991 -- U.S military men and women under arms was 2 million

2016 -- U.S. military men and women under arms is 1.3 million

Total? Obama that "wraskally" Magician has shrunk our military making us vulnerable." Translation dog whistle? Obama hates America!

1991 -- U.S. had 500 war ships

2016 -- U.S. has about 272 ships

Conclusion? Obama is weak and we're now weak and we can't dominate!.

My dear chap, the reasons why the United States' fighting force has been reduced are two fold, at least in my humble opinion. The first is that the so-called threat of Soviet Communism and expansionism is over and has been for a very long time so there is little need for a large standing force spanning the globe. And, two, technology, especially smart bomb technology, has made the United States not "less powerful" but more so since it has a complete lock on superior modern military technology.

That's why old 1991 ships and military hardware are now obsolete. The new ones are more efficient, more powerful, and much more technologically equipped. Donald, you're a businessman, a dealmaker or so you say, so do us all a favor "stop dabbling in things your "Doofie" mind find difficult to understand.

Finally, Trumpie will "apply leverage to China" (where he gets his clothes from) because of the "massive monies the United States lost" (to China). The U.S. government owes a lot of money. A lot. The total debt to China is only $1.3 trillion. So we're not in hock to China as much as some people think we are. The main reasons behind the amount of US Treasury notes (and real estate investments) that China owns is driven by the fact that they have, for many years now, been the largest global exporter of goods and their largest export market is the USA. So when China sells goods to the USA, they exchange them for dollars. Since China is a net exporter (exports more than it imports) it is usually left with a surplus of dollars and over time it has chosen US treasuries to invest that extra money.

Okay, okay this is really some complex sh**t. So we'll end here and just say: Screw all this economics, foreign policy and such! Who need that anywhere? All we have to do is just "Make America Great Again."

Authors Website: http://www.CSG2017.com

Authors Bio:

MICHAEL DERK ROBERTS
Small Business Consultant, Editor, and Social Media & Communications Expert, New York

Over the past 20 years I've been a top SMALL BUSINESS CONSULTANT and POLITICAL CAMPAIGN STRATEGIST in Brooklyn, New York, running successful campaigns at the City, State and Federal levels. I'm a published author and award-winning journalist. I've been honored and recognized for my deep, hard-hitting analytical work on socio-economic and political issues confronting the United States in general and New York City in particular. I'm he Senior Consultant, COMMONSENSE STRATEGIES (www.commonsensestrategies.biz ), a Marketing, Social Media & Communications company based in Brooklyn. I also host two weekly podcasts at www.blogtalkradio.com/shangoking .The first, aired on Saturday mornings is called BTS -- Business, Technology and Social Media and the second, The Roberts Report, is aired on Sundays. You can also follow me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/mdvroberts. (347) 279-6668.