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OpEdNews Op Eds    H3'ed 4/27/16

Trump's Jumbled Mass Of Incoherent Nonsense

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Donald Trump
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Oh heck, just when I as starting to think that Donald J. Trump was going "presidential." Yeah, I know he's going to "Make America Great Again""blah, blah, blah (yawn, yawn). Then the man goes and gives a prime time, foreign policy speech. Yah! Ole Trumpie, fresh off his clobbering of his two Republican challengers -- Trump "Mini-Me" Cruz and John "Me Too" Kasich -- I guess it was in order to show people that you know your foreign policy onions.

Granted, Trumpie's forays into the complex world of foreign policy were unmitigated disasters -- ban Muslims from entering the US, bomb the "sh**t out of ISIS and "get NATO nations to pay their fair share." So, to show us all that he's not a real life dud the Big Trumpie goes on the offensive and delivers his "major foreign policy speech."

I have to tell you that I'll-Make-America-Great-Again -Trump's hands are small! Small when compared with his overall physical size. That's why he's so sensitive about them. Ahhh, maybe the wonker, shlong thing is what's bugging the guy; seems to me the wee weenie story just got some legs!

But let me get back to The Donald's foreign policy jambalaya -- can't call it a speech (not because he gave it standing woodenly at a podium to sporadic but somewhat muted applause). "We have to be unpredictable," (on foreign policy) Mr. Trump said with a constipated bathroom grimace on his face. Adding this important tidbit: "ISIS will be gone, very, very quickly (when he's president of the United States.)

Waxing incoherently and disjointedly, Donald Trump now rip roaringly drunk on his own ego, lurched from one unsubstantiated statement to jaw dropping hyperbole after another, sometimes throwing red meat to the unwashed Republican Party's faithful and at other times creating the caricature of President Obama that could aptly give credence to a new children's reading book called "Puff Obama The Magic Politician." Or maybe a TV reality show starring DT of course?

Stating that Obama caused the United States to lose "massive monies" from its relationship with China, this somehow by a miracle of economic osmosis translated into the president's not protecting Christians from genocide in Iraq and elsewhere ergo "we have to help them, we've done nothing to help them." And keeping on this lurching, erratic course Mr. Trump soon concluded with great philosophical wit that "ISIS is now making millions and millions selling Libyan oil."

Have you ever watched the children's TV comic series Phineas and Ferb? Trump reminds me greatly of Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, the main antagonist in the series, who dreams up all kinds of schemes and plans to take over the "tri-state area." Doofenshmirtz is usually given to long monologues. Trying to impress TV viewers with his knowledge of American foreign policy and history, Trump launched into America's greatness and how "we saved the world in 1940" during the Secord World War. He then said that America was great again, for the second time in her history, when "we won the Cold War" and defeated communism. Presumably, the Third Greatness of America (like the Third Reich?) will come when he's president.

But after the Cold War? American and World History according to Donald Trump (required reading, by the way) said that "we made mistake after mistake and we replaced logic with foolishness and arrogance." Trump concluded that American foreign policy from that time on had "no focus, no purpose, and no direction."

Naturally, "I'm the only one who could fix this," he said beating his own drum. And for good measure Trump stated the core message of his foreign policy: "America first." As proof of this he opined that President Obama and Hillary Clinton, the Democratic Party's front-runner, had caused this real mess. Obama, Trump thundered, has created a "huge debt," did not secure the border, and was rebuilding other countries."

"Obama made Iran a great, great power," Trump said incredulously without explaining how in under eight years did Obama the Magician accomplish his complex task. No wait, here's his proof: "I'm sick of the deals he made."

Earth to Trump Doofenshmirtz: the Iran Deal was not unilaterally negotiated by President Obama and the United States but by the leaders of the United Kingdom, France, Russia, Germany, France, China, the European Union. Guess this is what "unpredictability" in foreign means. Then the quickly got back on track and lurched from the hilarious to the utterly extreme:

"Our military dominance MUST be unquestioned and I mean unquestioned by anybody," Trump said in a harangue that bore chilly comparisons and resemblance to Ole Adolf Hitler. Then not satisfied with that he launched into a full frontal attack on globalization adding that the "the nation state is the true measure of progress." Here I think that I'll just kinda educate Ole Trumpie.

My dear Doofie, as the bishop said to the actress as he tried to lift her dress, globalization is the tendency of businesses, technologies, or philosophies to spread throughout the world, or the process of making this happen. The global economy is sometimes referred to as a globality, characterized as a totally interconnected marketplace, unhampered by time zones or national boundaries.

And a nation state is a sovereign state whose citizens or subjects are relatively homogeneous in factors such as language or common descent.

The point, dear chap, is that the two are NOT the same. Globalization is about business, technology and the global economy. A nation state is a SOCIAL construct about a people and a common and shared heritage.

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MICHAEL DERK ROBERTS Small Business Consultant, Editor, and Social Media & Communications Expert, New York Over the past 20 years I've been a top SMALL BUSINESS CONSULTANT and POLITICAL CAMPAIGN STRATEGIST in Brooklyn, New York, running (more...)

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