As I dig deeper, I realize that awareness is a quality of self. I then realize that my perceptions are also limited by my physical reality and organism. I am apparently designed to only see or watch, hear or listen, feel, think, react or pro act, remember, imagine, label, walk, talk, work, sleep, dream, pay attention or not etc. But what can I know about any of these things except what my apparatus is designed to perceive and feed to me? What can I define except by using words that have been given me? Words learned from those around me since my birth. My birth, something I can't seem to remember. So here I am back to the question of what is this me? The problem is compounded by realizing that much of myself operates quite independent of actual conscious participation of the thinker, feeler, perceiver me that now ponders what if anything I can communicate of value to my reader.
My reader, a fellow perceiver awareness unit sharing this mystery of life with me on this essentially unfathomable planetoid, revolving around the sun. The sun, the source of life and light. At least the most immediate and obvious source to me, the one physically recognizable cosmic entity that seems responsible for the maintenance of the system in which I find myself aware of being alive. I also find myself with another riddle. I am also aware of being aware. All this without really getting to the essential mystery of being aware at all.
So here I AM. I AM? Yes, I AM. But am I only this that I am or am I also an organic part of that I am not? I must be. I AM, sure, but I am also of the sun and earth. I am also of that which this, our sun, is a part of. If there is is a single entity such as a UNIverse, than I AM that too. So whatever I AM, I Am also a universe as well? I AM a universe, star and planet because without those too, AM I Still? Well, you may wish to postulate some ultimate transcendental, that's fine. I will just add that ultimate transcendental to the list of that which I AM, and would be AM NOT, without.
So, the simple Idea of self is useful in separating out in a crude physical way that which is not myself. Like YOU, for example. But like YOU, the lines quickly blur when I reach for more distinctions. Somehow I AM me. But Yet I AM one way or another a link part of the greater whole. A greater whole I can only imagine, create myths, stare at through perception extenders such as telescopes or microscopes, worship, or express awe in some other way, or just exist in or with. Exist with a healthy sense of wonder however, because the more I AM Aware, the more I AM aware of being aware, the more I Wonder.
Intriguing, but I've got to stop somewhere, And this is where I AM going to stop typing. But the wonder? The wonder I will take with me when the typing is over. I wonder if I will get to take the awareness of being aware, aware with wonder, with me to the stars someday? HA! I Wonder. You've got to love it! But that's another essay for another day. Thanks for reading.