Funny New Year predictions

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Hope never  leaves us. It is thus prudent to consider  that some things we  await  but know  that they will never happen maybe will happen. If that happens, why not  in the next year? The odds are meager but at least the same for every year coming.

1.  United States  will announce  to the whole world that they are no more the leader of the free world but  rather the member of the world as is.

2. An international project   will be  announced to establish a permanent  base on the Moon in order to coordinate the solar energy delivery through space platforms.

3. The Earth fresh water resources will be pronounced off limits to any  commercial  enterprise and instead- the FRESH WATER FOR EVERYONE project will be commissioned.

4. US Congresspeople will   be put on the salary- benefits  grade of all other civil servants.

5. Secret Service protection  of the  former Presidents as well as candidates will be discontinued.

6. US will transfer to the SI measurements system.

7.  A new rule will be  established in the US- every govt which  goes for the military intervention against another country will  have first to exchange governments with the target country for a year.

8.  NRA will  introduce a clause that  its members   will  have a license to  hunt each other.

9.  US media will abandon its jargon of  left- right, conservative and liberal, etc. and instead will return to the  old definition of  ' old asses vs. new asses'-  the one used in 19th - century Germany.

10. Obesity  will be  renamed   as  Corpulence Americana

11. Every woman- character in the movies which will have to  use the firearm will have to do that  only naked. No cloth will be allowed. Every man who  does killing  will  have   to be naked also.

12.There will be a new movie in which a dedicated   CIA agent  stalks a Vice- President of the US who is a covert  member of Al- Qaeda. The movie will include the torture of the  US attorney - general by forcing him  to read  loudly the  numerous books of law.

13. A project to bring in  the millions tons of ice which bombard the Earth from space will be  announced, all privately  funded but publicly -used.

14.  The Middle- East Conflict will cease. The new banner of the United Middle- Eastern Federation  will  feature a giant middle finger  and say' Middle East shows this to all idiots that think that when Jews return to Zion there will be rupture.'

15. The US will  introduce a rule that newly elected congresspeople will have  to go study democracy  for a year to South Africa.

16. Hollywood will  stop producing movies about British Royals.

17. US and NATO will announce that due to  the bankruptcy, their bases in other countries go for sale.

18.  Progressives in the US will  unite.

19.  War on drugs will be expanded to the prescription drugs.

20. We all will somehow get along.

I guess I could continue, wars, climate, etc. But   even hope has limits. I lowered my expectations. At least there is a slim chance that ONE of the above will happen. I hope.

Authors Bio:

The writer is 67 years old, semi- retired engineer, PhD, PE. I write fiction on a regular basis and I am also 10 years on OEN.