The Absence of John Lennon and Other Spiritual Dilemmas

by Becky Burgwin

I have always told my kids that they can learn everything they need to know about life from the lyrics of John Lennon and The Beatles and, boy, am I needing those words right now.

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they’re here to stay. Oh I believe in yesterday.

Since Howard Dean formally conceded the race for Democratic nominee to John Kerry and John Edwards, my life has no meaning. Of course, this is an absolutely absurd notion since I am involved in many wonderful projects. A Center for World Peace in Assisi, Italy and a documentary film about the children of Afghanistan for starters. I think that my feeling of emptiness comes from a place inside where hope for real change in this country resided for a year. That hope came in the form of Howard Dean.

The reason I was so positive that Dean was the guy for the job of reuniting our country was because he is the antithesis of Bush. A screenwriter couldn’t have come up with a better candidate to end the period of moral bankruptcy that has plagued our nation for the last three years. I know it’s really much longer than that; it’s just that in the past it’s been done more quietly. But there’s no need to be quiet when you believe you’ve been called by God, now is there?

I’ve got a thing or two to say about the things that you do. You’re telling all those lies about the good things that we can have if we close our eyes.

Dean was (is) the kind of man that I imagine a lot of our founding fathers were; full of ideals about a country where everyone enjoys the same rights…where church and state are separate and no one can be forced to adhere to the doctrines of someone else’s religion. God, I really miss those guys. I wish they were here right now to kick the crap out of these maniacs who are ruining our country. I wish Abraham Lincoln were here to say, "Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just God, can not long retain it," and then lock them up in Guantanamo Bay.

All we are saying is give peace a chance.

You know who else I miss? John Lennon. If I ever had to cry on stage or in a movie all I would have to do is think of John Lennon and how awful his death was and how sad it is that we don’t have him here now. He would be writing songs and having peaceful protests in bed with Yoko and it would feel like we had someone speaking for us who could actually get through to people…someone who embodies peace.

There’s people standing ‘round who’ll screw you in the ground. They’ll fill you in with all their sins, you’ll see.

Howard Dean said, “At every turn when there has been an imbalance of power, the truth questioned, or our beliefs and values distorted, the change required to restore our nation has always come from the bottom up, from our people.” No one in the media or the Democratic Party for that matter paid attention to what Dean was saying. They only looked at how they were being told he appeared. He’s angry. Yea, he’s angry. He’s unelectable. Yea, and unelectable too. Yea, angry and unelectable…that’s the ticket.

Now, don’t get all excited because I am not, I repeat, I AM NOT comparing Howard Dean to Jesus, but it seems to have been that way for Jesus, too. There was so much wisdom in his words. Magic, too. But what are we being shown today? A movie about his life that is nothing but hours upon hours of torture and unspeakable pain. I haven’t even seen this movie but I think it should be called The Nausea not The Passion because that’s how I feel when I just read about it. I can’t help but think that Jesus would be horrified that this is what we took from his life and are showing to our children.

I always had the impression that Jesus was an incredibly peaceful man who believed that violence begets violence. He, who lives by the sword, must die by the sword…the meek shall inherit the earth…turn the other cheek. This movie’s grotesque portrayal of his death is the closest thing to true sin that I believe in. How can we defend ourselves from the evil that’s being perpetrated upon us in the name of Jesus?

We were talking about the love that’s gone so cold and the people who gain the world and lose their soul.

"There is something about human beings that corporations can't deal with and that's our soul, our spirituality, who we are. We need to find a way in this country to understand--and to help each other understand--that there is a tremendous price to be paid for the supposed efficiency of big corporations. The price is losing the sense of who we are as human beings." Howard Dean.

But now I fear that rediscovering our humanity is not meant to be…ever…for this country or the world. Our president will always be an insufferable bore who listens to corporations and special interests and not his/her constituents, while people like Tom Delay, easily the creepiest person who has ever set foot in the Senate Office Building, decides who gets to live the American dream and who gets to live the American nightmare.

But if you want money for people with minds that hate, all I can tell you is brother you’ll have to wait.

Now we’re getting ready to put an amendment into the constitution that DENIES rights to a large part of our population. Talk about sacrilege.

Hey George, you just killed ten thousand Iraqis. What are you going to do now? I’m going to blow up Disneyland. Why George? Because they give full benefits to their employees who are homosexuals. What will you do next George? Why I’ll rid the world of people who, despite the fact that they are the same sex, want to love each other and be in committed, long-term relationships and adopt unwanted children.

I left you far behind, the ruins of the life you had in mind. And though you still can’t see, I know your mind’s made up you’re gonna cause more misery.

And this isn’t all our illustrious president won’t support. He won’t support the ban on assault weapons and he won’t support the closing of the gun show loophole that would prevent persons with violent or psychiatric backgrounds from purchasing guns and receiving their merchandise on the spot.

Yes, folks. The people who brought you this incredibly disgusting piece of hypocrisy are the same people who, with glee, determined that there will be no late term pregnancy intervention, even if the doctor determines that the birth will kill the mother.

Help.

I am coming to realize that peace might not be possible on a global level, especially with The United States around to step in and give you the little helping hand you didn’t even know you needed.

Problems with your ruler? Call Evil Dictators “R” Us. We’ll come right over and dispose of your evil despot and half your population while we’re at it. It’ll be easier to feed everyone, for starters. Then, in case you have a civil war because your evil dictator is gone and the country has subsequently plunged into chaos, we’ll build you a huge hotel/condo/multi-plex cinematic extravaganza called Sinbad’s to help take your mind off your troubles. Deo meo!

Imagine there's no countries. It isn't hard to do. Nothing to kill or die for, and no religion too. Imagine all the people living life in peace.

"As long as half the world's population subsists on less than two dollars a day, the US will not be secure.... A world populated by 'hostile have-nots' is not one in which US leadership can be sustained without coercion." Howard Dean.

The only place we can ever really find peace is inside ourselves and if everyone on the planet does that and projects it outward, we will have peace. Yea. That’ll happen !! Oh, and another thing, peace will never be accomplished through laws and wars and amendments, either. So give it up.

You can go to church and sing a hymn. Judge me by the color of my skin. You can live a lie until you die. One thing you can't hide is when you’re crippled inside.

Dean’s out, the founders are dead, Abraham Lincoln, JFK, Bobbie Kennedy, Martin Luther King, John Lennon and Jesus all murdered. Who’s going to save us from this insanity?

I miss Howard Dean almost as much as I miss John Lennon. Howard Dean said, "In our nation, the people are sovereign, not the government. It is the people, not the media or the financial system or mega-corporations or the two political parties, who have the power to create change." That’s the fight worth fighting right now.

Don’t get me wrong the elections are important but my ideal president will never get elected and we don’t have time to screw around with the Ralph Naders anymore. I have to abide by the choice of the country and vote for whoever comes up on the ballot across from the critically ill man that we loosely call our president. Then the only other thing we can do is keep trying to cultivate love in our hearts and peace in our minds.

A lifetime is so short. A new one can’t be bought.

John Lennon may be gone but, thank the good Lord, his music lives on. I was in New York a few months ago and, as always, I went to Strawberry Fields. At first, when I was walking up there, it sounded like someone was playing the album (Trust me. It’s an album) Abbey Road. But in reality there was a four-piece band of pick-up musicians playing…drums…electric piano…two guitars. They didn’t even know each other. Also there were about 30 other people there singing and everyone knew the words. We performed the entire album right to the end.

Then my husband called the ambulance to take me out of there on a stretcher.

And in the end…the love you take is equal to the love you make.

Lennon stood for everything good. God, I miss him so much.

Ms. Burgwin’s writing has appeared in Newsweek, Time, New York Magazine, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette and the Tribune Review as well as several online Op Ed sites. She is also involved in gay rights, women’s issues and the environment. She lives in Pittsburgh with her family.