10 lessons from the toilet presidency of George W. Bush:

1. Religious fanatics are now the number one threat to the planet Earth.

2. Fundamentalists no more speak for Christianity than ultra right wing Zionists speak for the Jewish community. And clearly it's a desecration to confuse the Prophet Mohammed with psychopathic terrorists.

3. Once upon a time, we had political representatives who spoke for our values and truths, but there's more spine in the back of a book than in the DLC (Democratic Leadership Council). In short, WE ARE ON OUR OWN. Practically speaking, this is the most important lesson of all, because so long as we assume we have political advocates, we won't take responsibility for saving our children and country.

4. We've learned that the American media sells its soul cheap. You can buy television anchors by the gross (the Australian Rupert Murdoch has 10 or 12 of them on his key chain). This can't be said strongly enough: the Judas American press has betrayed us; they have betrayed America. The journalists of yesterday are extinct. American television now grunts like herd of propaganda swine.

5. We've learned that White House stupidity (are you listening, George) is a luxury our species can no longer afford. Global warming is real. Murderous hurricanes are real. 3rd millennia plagues are real. Ozone holes are real. And on and on and on. We've learned that anti environmental policies turn Mother Nature into Mother Kali (the Goddess of Death). Climate changes which formerly took ten thousand years are now taking ten. So long as G. Duhbya is calling the shots, our God given environment is doomed. Said differently, it's suicidal for us to keep indulging these Bush Family air heads who have trouble even pronouncing the word science. Science haters are planet killers -- it's that simple.

6. We've learned that most Republicans are fascists (dictatorship of the rich to the max). Perhaps they've been closet Nazis all along. In any case, we now see them for what they are: lying, greed vampires who would sell your children to make a buck. Is this hyperbole and exaggeration? No. Look what they're doing to the planet. Look what they're doing to the economy. Look what they're doing to our children's health care. Look what they're doing to our retirements. Look what they're doing to our infinitely sacrificed for constitutional Republic. No; exaggeration is not the word. Rather, seeing it and saying it like it is.

7. We've learned that financial aristocracies (the "elites") and religious cults are products of social and/or biological inbreeding. And whether due to genetic abnormalities (e.g., the hemophiliac Royal families of Europe) or culturally incestuous interaction, the end result is stunted intelligence. Hence, the Bush/Evangelicals are ruinously clogging our machinery of government with the sludge of raw stupidity.

8. We've learned that George Bush is the liar of the 3rd Millennia. He wouldn't give you a straight answer if you asked him the way to the bathroom. He lied to us about Iraq. He lied to the black community in New Orleans before, during, and after Hurricane Katrina. He keeps lying to us about our hopelessly mortgaged economy and about "leaving no child behind" (which evidently means sending our children to die for Cheney/Halliburton in Iraq). President liar, liar, pants on fire. History will spit on him.

9. We've learned that for Republicans, there is no rule of law. Remember those jerks in high school who were always trying to steal your shoes? It didn't cross our minds that when they got older, they would also steal elections. First they stole the year 2000 Presidential election when Republican brown shirts stormed the Florida election centers. Then they stole several congressional seats in 2002 (seats everyone agreed, even the pugs, that the dems had locked up). And we all know about the year 2004 Presidential election and Ohio and Florida and about 20 other states. What a scam! Diebold, black box, one party voting machines. The exit polls unequivocally gave John Kerry the election, but now you see it, now you don't. We all know with absolute certainly they're going to try to do exactly the same thing in 2008 . . . but this time we'll be waiting.

10. Not a lesson, but a question. Whatever happened to that little black box under Bush's coat during the 2004 Kerry debates? Everyone could see it; we all knew it was there. Shouldn't it end up in a Presidential museum or something? Maybe he'll start wearing it again now that he's lost his smirk.

W. Christopher Epler