I just hope you're right.

I agree with everything you said in this colorfully written piece. However, after three stolen elections, I fear that those in power can find yet more ways to manipulate the voters, hack the electronic voting machines, etc etc, in the 13 days that remain before the voters head to the polls.
There is a move afoot (in California at least) to get people to vote early. It's not clear to me whether that is the same thing as mailing in absentee ballots. My children worry that the mails could be tampered with too.
We'll see what comes out in the wash. Meanwhile, those who believe in a god which oversees elections should pray very hard that s/he doesn't take bribes to look the other way.
Watch yo' back.
versiera

by sony (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 5 comments) on Wednesday, October 25, 2006 at 10:36:19 PM
 

You and I both, brother...you and I both.

I just hope you're right.

So do I. I truly have every reason to believe that this election is going to be the biggest political routing I have ever personally witnessed in forty-four years of life. However, I can't bank on that...for many reasons, some of which you touch upon.

I agree with everything you said in this colorfully written piece. However, after three stolen elections, I fear that those in power can find yet more ways to manipulate the voters, hack the electronic voting machines, etc etc, in the 13 days that remain before the voters head to the polls.

As do I. While I like to think that America has wisened up a bit since 2004, I thought we had wisened up in the space between 2000 and 2004...and I was proved wrong. It's hard to maintain my own faith in the system. This is especially true since it seems so few give even a half a shit about whether or not the system is even close to functional.

I also must say I share your dim view of possible voter fraud, machine hacking and manipulation, and so many other things. I am just distressed that we appoint ourselves to be the watchdogs for election fairness in other countries, and we can't even guarantee it here. From the revival of Jim Crow election laws in some states, to Diebold voting machines, the power elite of this country have done their best to disgrace the very name of Democracy. How on Earth can we say we want to export it to other countries when it no longer exists here?

AND, might I add for good measure when foreign countries do hold FREE AND DEMOCRATIC elections, and elect officials we don't like (ie Hamas, Hezbollah, etc.), then DUBYA and others here act like the elections didn't matter. Hey, at least those elected there were elected fairly. That's not a claim that this country can make for the last six years running.

If rigged elections and despotic dictatorial tyrants are what America defines as Democracy, no wonder the rest of the world wants no part of it. Do you blame them? I sure as hell don't! I don't want any part of it myself.

There is a move afoot (in California at least) to get people to vote early. It's not clear to me whether that is the same thing as mailing in absentee ballots. My children worry that the mails could be tampered with too.

Oh yeah, to be sure there are plenty of ways for the mail in ballots to be "lost". Either by having them surreptitiously finding their way into the circular file, or maybe "accidentally" meeting the flame of a butane lighter, or some other means, I'm sure there will be some tampering. It's the American way!

We'll see what comes out in the wash. Meanwhile, those who believe in a god which oversees elections should pray very hard that s/he doesn't take bribes to look the other way.
Watch yo' back.
versiera

Yeah, I sure as hell hope that my prognostications and those of certain others prove to be correct. It's long past time that this country and its citizens were restored to our one-time greatness.

I honestly don't see how the Republicans can recover from the seemingly endless barrage of recent political suicide attempts. With the corruption of so many scandals, the freshness and luridness of Foleygate, and the insensitive, boorish comments by Flush Lintball towards Michael J. Fox, I just can't see how anyone who even has only the reptilian part of their brain operational at the moment could even consider voting for the Republicans.

So when you say you hope I am right, I can only answer, "You and I both, brother...you and I both!"

Blessed be!
Pappy

by Pappy (61 articles, 0 quicklinks, 11 diaries, 863 comments) on Thursday, October 26, 2006 at 2:52:27 AM
 

Which American people are those?

How can DUBYA be so stupid as to think that Americans are moronic enough to buy his garbage at this stage of the game? You can fool some of the people some of the time

However, this maneuver is so clearly a bullshit ploy, even those who have never seen a bullshit ploy know that's just what's happening.

While there may be one or two folks fooled by this poorly timed and entirely transparent bit of bovine excrement, I just don't see it appeasing many people.

I wish I believed any of this. So far, we have not discovered just how obtuse and indolent the American people are capable of being. So far, we have found nothing that is unacceptable to them, if unacceptable implies reacting.

Why would you assume that America will rouse from its coma in reaction to anything? It might, but it might not, and there is no evidence that it has even stirred beyond grumbling a little.

by Yaybob (10 articles, 0 quicklinks, 1 diaries, 164 comments) on Thursday, October 26, 2006 at 9:40:51 AM
 

Your guess remains as good as mine.

I wish I believed any of this. So far, we have not discovered just how obtuse and indolent the American people are capable of being. So far, we have found nothing that is unacceptable to them, if unacceptable implies reacting.

As much as I wish I could debate you, you are absolutely correct in your condemnation of the average American. While there was a time in the far past (like before Tricky Dick Nixon and Watergate) where the political machinations of someone like DUBYA would have drawn shock and ire from all corners of America, now, it's only M.O.T.S. (more of the same). I guess you could say if part of the Neo-con, neofascist plan was to destroy the education system and render our citizens braindead, that part worked perfectly.

The only thing I have seen recently that even elicited a rise out of the citizens was Foleygate, and I am still not sure why that was. Was it because of his homosexuality? Was it because he abused underaged kids? Was it because it was just so deliciously lurid, we couldn't look away? Or was it the thought that there are really queer Republicans in the world? Of course, even now as the fire remains burning brightly for this scandal, reports from the ethics committee remain scarce, and definitely no longer front page fodder.

Obtuse and indolent...that's the most accurate means of descrpition I have heard yet. I am truly beginning to doubt there is anything of intellect left here in the land of dopes and money. We have heaped too much praise on the mediocre. We have exalted the dullard. We have allowed stupid the floor one too many times. Why else would a people be so willing to believe in irrational, illogical, mythical stories about a deity creating a world in seven days, yet with mountains of evidence to prove we are destroying our atmosphere, they refuse to believe global warming is real? Why else would people believe in the existence of the mythological demigod, Satan, yet poopoo evolution; a theory that needs no more proof for its existence than the anti-biotic resistent strain of Staph that exists? Why on earth are there more people in this country that believe in angels than believe we are just goose-steps away from the American version of the Third Reich?

You are so right. I wish you weren't.

Why would you assume that America will rouse from its coma in reaction to anything? It might, but it might not, and there is no evidence that it has even stirred beyond grumbling a little.

I don't assume they will. Frankly, I assume the contrary to be the case. I assume that on the morning of November 8, 2006, nothing will have changed, and we will have to hunker down for two more years of M.O.T.S. Truth be told, I think we are all doomed.

Doomed because everyone in this fucked up country has actively chosen the path of least resistance. Doomed because more people are willing to vote for some bullshit singer on some bullshit televised "reality" karaoke contest than are willing to go to the polls and vote for a change in their humdrum lives. Doomed because so many people are unwilling or unable to think for themselves. Doomed because much like ignorance and stupidity, apathy rules. Doomed because the village idiot remains the ruler of a village of idiots!

So, no, I am making no assumptions that anything will change. I assume the opposite.

What I did in the original article was put forth vain hopes that things might change. I put forth the hope that people might wise up. I put forth the hope that people might care enough about our country, and be smart enough to realize the Republicans are at last running scared. This might prompt those people on the edge of their somnambulant reality to wake up and try to effect a change.

I may be completely wrong. I may be totally off base. I may have my head so far up my ass that there is no way I can breathe, let alone smell anything but my own shit.

However, the nature of hope, and my own personal nature demand I try to remain hopeful. The only alternative is to stand up right now, walk the fifteen feet to my window, open it, and jump out head first. I'm pretty sure given my weight, and the fact that I am three floors up, I'd have no chance of surviving that one.

Given the choice between holding on to my threadbare hope, and taking a swan dive onto the parking lot below me, I'll hold on to my hope. It's a lot less messy, and it won't cause so much pain to my roommates, or the folks who would have to clean up the mess.

Blessed be!
Pappy

by Pappy (61 articles, 0 quicklinks, 11 diaries, 863 comments) on Thursday, October 26, 2006 at 11:54:01 AM
 

I agree, Pappy

Given the choice between holding on to my threadbare hope, and taking a swan dive onto the parking lot below me, I'll hold on to my hope.

Like you, I have lost all legitimate hope. But that is not as painful as it might sound for me anymore. I have divorced myself mentally (and soon physically) from America. It is like an abusive and self-abusive lapsed alcoholic that I once loved but can no longer respect and don't want to be around any longer. The America I loved is dead and gone, and I've passed through all of my stages of grief (you know, denial, anger, bargaining and despair first) now to acceptance. I see it as a terminally ill patient not dead yet but not salvageable either.

There are a few reasons why we should welcome or at least accept this.

(1) America is pathological now and I do not believe it can be renovated. It must be razed and rebuilt from the ashes ground up. A new government and a better Constitution (who thought we'd ever think such a thought) are needed. Let this one go.

(2) It's only just that the American people take a beating for their irresponsibility, arrogance, selfishness and deliberate ignorance. This is criminal negligence on the part of an entire population, and anybody who is not American can see that this country has a big, condign spanking in store for it when its father gets home so to speak. Junior needs and deserves a rebuke.

(3) It hurts so much to fight the losing psychological battle of false hope. Why dash against the rocks repeatedly and die a thousand deaths when you can say your last rites and move on. It's not like anybody can help these people.

(4) The American people need to relearn the lessons that the first tyrant George taught them two and a half centuries ago. The colonials understood why separation of church and state and warrants were important. The American people don't, and they need to relearn this. It's not coming from a book, either. They will have to enroll in the school of very hard knocks to learn. Things can't get better without getting much worse for a prolonged period first, so it might as well play itself out quickly as slowly. This is the main reason to embrace the horror to follow, and a good reason to get out of its way.

That being said, the long-term future (say 50-100 years from now) is not as bleak as the next several decades (the rest of our lives, unfortunately) promise to be. But for me in my fifties, the game is all played out and it is time to be moving on. I will not share in the consequences of this failure of stewardship if I can help it, as I don't feel connected anymore to the American people. Like you, I was not the problem, and I haven't forgotten the names that I was called by half of them for protesting during the rush to war: traitor, coward, appeaser, terrorist sympathizer, America hater, etc.

When I (and all other dissenters) were told by Mr. Fleischer that we had better watch what we say, and the American people did not object, I knew that I wasn't fully a citizen of this country any more. I'll be damned if I'm going to be denied a seat at the table but then be expected to help clean up the dishes and pay for the meal. Incidentally, I read your comments about not emigrating the other day. It's not for everybody, I suppose

by Yaybob (10 articles, 0 quicklinks, 1 diaries, 164 comments) on Thursday, October 26, 2006 at 12:46:03 PM
 

A reply

Like you, I have lost all legitimate hope. But that is not as painful as it might sound for me anymore. I have divorced myself mentally (and soon physically) from America. It is like an abusive and self-abusive lapsed alcoholic that I once loved but can no longer respect and don't want to be around any longer. The America I loved is dead and gone, and I've passed through all of my stages of grief (you know, denial, anger, bargaining and despair first) now to acceptance. I see it as a terminally ill patient not dead yet but not salvageable either.

I am so close to that point in my life, I can't even begin to put it into words. I am still trying to bargain with myself, the world, and the village of idiots. I hate to think I'd be so willing to give up the land of my birth, but the more I see, the less I like it here anymore. Perhaps I will come to the point of complete disgust, just pull my stakes and head into the sunset. It's getting to the point where that's about all I can see in my future. Staying here is a waste of my time, my effort, and my sanity.

I don't really know that I'll find a place in this world where I can feel whole again, but I am getting to the point where I am willing to start looking. It's pretty damned obvious that things aren't working out for me in this country any longer. Even if things turn around this coming November, who's to say the same shit won't come back down the road come 2008? I am tired of being a yoyo for this country. I just want someplace where I can feel stability, real stability!

(1) America is pathological now and I do not believe it can be renovated. It must be razed and rebuilt from the ashes ground up. A new government and a better Constitution (who thought we'd ever think such a thought) are needed. Let this one go.

I am getting to the point where I can no longer escape the truth of your words. This country has been so damaged and battered since Nixon, there's hardly anything resembling the country in which I was born. What's even worse than that, there is nothing of the principles and mores my parents taught me when I was younger. I am an anachronism in my own time, and I never saw that coming. It blindsided me, and I am still reeling trying to figure out where it came from, and how I missed the transition.

(2) It's only just that the American people take a beating for their irresponsibility, arrogance, selfishness and deliberate ignorance. This is criminal negligence on the part of an entire population, and anybody who is not American can see that this country has a big, condign spanking in store for it when its father gets home so to speak. Junior needs and deserves a rebuke.

Oh god, how did you get inside my head? Yes, we have all had some part in this, and we are all to blame. Some are more to blame than others, and they definitely need a good ass whacking!

Apathy is king! Stupidity gets the floor always! People care more about some stupid football game (the STUPORBOWL), a boring, high-stakes televised karaoke contest, and the state of Madonna's new adopted baby and whether or not Tom Cruise really fathered Space-Child v 1.0 than who governs them, or what said governing body does to fuck up the country.

I sometimes just want to scream at the top of my lungs, "What the fuck is wrong with you people? Can you not see you are wasting your lives, and by proxy, also wasting the lives of others? Is there no way to penetrate your thick skulls, other than with the projectile from a Colt .45?"

Of course, I know it won't do any good. I'll get labled as a whiner, an egotist, a Mr. Know-it-all, or goddess knows what else.

(3) It hurts so much to fight the losing psychological battle of false hope. Why dash against the rocks repeatedly and die a thousand deaths when you can say your last rites and move on. It's not like anybody can help these people.

This one is so fucking true. Dying a thousand deaths? I feel like I have been doing that for the past five years. I get so tired and depressed, I just want the world to go away. It's like I hope for the gentle hand of death to take away my pain, and at the same time, I pray for something to come in my life to make death not be the only means of finding peace.

I am tired, my friend. I am so tired. I feel like I have been fighting a losing battle for so long, I have forgotten why I started fighting. Further, I don't know if there is anything to be gained at the end of this fight.

The fight has cost me dearly. It has cost me good friends. It has cost me my physical health. It has cost me my mental health. It has cost me just about everything I once held near and dear to my heart. I don't know if I have anything left to fight for, or to lose. That's a pretty scary place to exist.

(4) The American people need to relearn the lessons that the first tyrant George taught them two and a half centuries ago. The colonials understood why separation of church and state and warrants were important. The American people don't, and they need to relearn this. It's not coming from a book, either. They will have to enroll in the school of very hard knocks to learn. Things can't get better without getting much worse for a prolonged period first, so it might as well play itself out quickly as slowly. This is the main reason to embrace the horror to follow, and a good reason to get out of its way.

Once again, I have railed on this point until I am both blue in the face, and next to crippled from Carpal Tunnel. It seems the only ones who think there is something wrong with marrying church and state are those who would feel the lash of this poison combination the most.

I am a pagan. Some might call me a witch. Some might call me a sorcerer. Some might call me a Satanist or worshipper of the "devil". All who would do these things would also burn me at the stake if they had their "drothers".

I am also a homosexual. Some call me faggot. Some call me cocksucker. Some call me sodomite. All who do these things would love nothing more than to watch as my body turns to ashes as the fire below my stake crisps me.

I would definitely be on the outside looking in if church and state were married. The problem that the village of idiots doesn't realize is if they aren't exactly of the predominant religion, they will be standing on pillaries beside me smoking in the sun as well.

How soon they forget that the puritan pilgrims who first bastardised these shores were persecuted for their religion. They were christian. Their country was christian, but of a different sect. The Church of England wanted nothing to do with them. Since that was clearly a case where church and state were one, the puritans suffered torture, humiliation, and death. This is the reality of a combined church and state.

Yet so many who don't see a problem are too stupid to realize that their lives could be in as much danger as mine if they don't follow the precepts of the predominant sect. Just because you identify as christian doesn't mean that others see you as such. Yet they are blindly and stupidly willing to do nothing as church and state come close to unity here in this country. Talk about a bunch of stupid fucks!

That being said, the long-term future (say 50-100 years from now) is not as bleak as the next several decades (the rest of our lives, unfortunately) promise to be. But for me in my fifties, the game is all played out and it is time to be moving on. I will not share in the consequences of this failure of stewardship if I can help it, as I don't feel connected anymore to the American people. Like you, I was not the problem, and I haven't forgotten the names that I was called by half of them for protesting during the rush to war: traitor, coward, appeaser, terrorist sympathizer, America hater, etc.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I am almost there myself. At forty-four, my world's just about gone. I am tired, and I just can't see that the fight I am waging is going to do anything but wear me out and put me in the grave way before my time.

When I (and all other dissenters) were told by Mr. Fleischer that we had better watch what we say, and the American people did not object, I knew that I wasn't fully a citizen of this country any more. I'll be damned if I'm going to be denied a seat at the table but then be expected to help clean up the dishes and pay for the meal.

Whoa! That's an awesome analogy! I so relate! I am tired of giving my all, and having that all taken from me without so much as a thank you, a fuck you, or a kiss my ass. I don't mind getting fucked, but I expect a kiss, or no dice!

Incidentally, I read your comments about not emigrating the other day. It's not for everybody, I suppose

Well, each day that I watch this shit pile grow before me, I get closer to the point where I am willing to get the fuck out of Dodge..err Dallas! The place I'd really like to go is Australia, but getting a work visa is next to impossible. The only other option is Canada. At least there, I could become a Canadian citizen by marriage...to a man. That way, I'd be able to work without dealing with extraneous bullshit.

I don't know, dude. I am at the point where I am willing to do whatever I need to do to get my life back. If that means I have to watch as the US shrinks in my rearview mirror, so the fuck be it!!! I have to do what's right for me, and it's getting to the point where staying in this fucked up country is more trouble and heartache than it's worth!

BTW, thanks for commenting. It's nice to connect with a kindred spirit. I wish the best for you...and myself, too.

Blessed be!
Pappy

by Pappy (61 articles, 0 quicklinks, 11 diaries, 863 comments) on Friday, October 27, 2006 at 5:01:44 AM
 

Thanks for that.

Pappy

We are obviously kindred spirits at different places (but very close) on this path we find ourselves on. I especially enjoy your willingness to bare your soul, which is obviously raw. I think I used to be more like that myself. I have only found a handful of voices in the din that is the American culture that have even begun to confront our reality as it is, and yours is one. It is to that handful that I reach out when I post in these public forums.

I mean no harm to America or the rest of Americans, but I see it coming, and I say so. Most Americans have not really begun to face reality and are still in denial about the nature of the problem, hoping against hope that its Satan or terrorists or some other external boogeyman that can and must be contained in a battle of some sort, or else is here to end the world. That makes them dangerous to themselves and everyone else who casts their lot with the American people's collective choices. The American voters are physically adults, but they are politically infants and toddlers. This is our own Lord of the Flies, and we are playing the part of Piggy. I trust you are familiar with the story. America has devolved politically into a throwback, a more primitive society, one in which we are maladapted, even at risk, with our passion for liberty, democracy and justice. How long will we stand in a burning edifice spraying water and looking for survivors when it's clear that the fire rages on?

Pappy, I really empathize with your depressed attitude. But be certain that you aren't confusing depression with anxiety or grief, two cousins. The first step is to notice the problem, and that is threatening, hence appropriate anxiety – for a while. Then, eventually we have sized up the problem and seen that it may be too big this time, and that our dear, sweet Lady Liberty, who has been declining rapidly, is now demented, nasty and aggressive. If you do or ever did love your country, it is appropriate once you have assessed the seriousness of the prognosis to grieve.

Depression includes a feeling of despondent hopelessness, psychological fatigue and the inability to experience pleasure as usual. It is normal to think about suicide at times like these. It is not normal to choose it. You know whether your mood is a threat to your life or not. If it is, tell somebody that can help. If not, please forgive the presumption.

I think about suicide too, but as a prisoner in a detention center, and that motivates me to get up and get out. I don't think that you are any different than I was before I signed off on this nightmare, and I wasn't suicidal just because I thought about it. But just in case I'm wrong about you, and you feel that death is preferable to life, it's time for you to take care of yourself and get out from under that impossibly heavy weight before it crushes you. You can't save America from itself alone, and you can only afford to try for so long before you are eventually depleted (not to mention incarcerated). You tried. I tried. Bad things happen to good countries.

Hey, look, America had a great run. She'll go down in the books twice: First constitutional democracy that ascended to world greatness before faltering, and first society to land astronauts off of earth. They'll be talking about both of those in 5000 years if we're still around. But polities are like organisms: they are all mortal and have limited lives. Inferior ones cannon help their people or even hurt them, and are short-lived. Successful ones die too, and paradoxically, because of their success. All that a government can do is provide security and economic opportunity, and this one did it so well that it bred successive generations of coddled people until those people had forgotten everything and were unfit to self-govern. Hardship breeds character and strength. It teaches necessary lessons. America is just like George Bush – born with a silver spoon, and it shows. That's the price of self-made success: weak children.

I'm rambling. I'd just like to help you feel not so all alone, and not so despondent. Be nearly hopeless if that's what the situation calls for. It's one out in the ninth inning of a 12-1 ball game. You are not a traitor to the team or any less loyal a fan to say that the game is all but lost when it is. It might be a good idea to head for the parking lot before there's a rush to do so, if you get my drift. They're putting up walls and building detention centers. I believe that the outcome of the elections is already determined. Prediction: Next month, the newspapers will report that the neocons retained both houses of Congress due to an unexpected vote of confidence by the American people, and that you will be told that the degree of backlash that you and others describe (and that the exit polls will have confirmed) had been overstated.

Tempest fugit. It's a big world.

by Yaybob (10 articles, 0 quicklinks, 1 diaries, 164 comments) on Friday, October 27, 2006 at 7:42:04 AM
 

Kindred

Pappy

We are obviously kindred spirits at different places (but very close) on this path we find ourselves on. I especially enjoy your willingness to bare your soul, which is obviously raw. I think I used to be more like that myself. I have only found a handful of voices in the din that is the American culture that have even begun to confront our reality as it is, and yours is one. It is to that handful that I reach out when I post in these public forums.

As do I. I know from my days of posting on my blog that no one wants to hear icky words; the prognostications of prophets of doom. However, when that is all one can see, is that one supposed to be honest, or paint a rosey picture while running out of red paint? In the words of Judas Iscariot from Jesus Christ, Superstar, "Why are we the prophets? Why are we the ones, who see the sad solution; know what must be done?" (Damned For All Time Music: Weber, Lyrics: Rice)

I know that your words are true. I only wish they weren't. This country and all that it stands for are no longer on my side of the intellectual divide. I can only stand on my side of the shore wondering whether we will ever see our greatness again, or whether it's long past time to throw int he towel. I can't escape the conclusion that this is the end, beautiful friend.

I mean no harm to America or the rest of Americans, but I see it coming, and I say so. Most Americans have not really begun to face reality and are still in denial about the nature of the problem, hoping against hope that its Satan or terrorists or some other external boogeyman that can and must be contained in a battle of some sort, or else is here to end the world. That makes them dangerous to themselves and everyone else who casts their lot with the American people's collective choices. The American voters are physically adults, but they are politically infants and toddlers. This is our own Lord of the Flies, and we are playing the part of Piggy. I trust you are familiar with the story. America has devolved politically into a throwback, a more primitive society, one in which we are maladapted, even at risk, with our passion for liberty, democracy and justice. How long will we stand in a burning edifice spraying water and looking for survivors when it's clear that the fire rages on?

I haven't read Lord Of The Flies in forever, but I do remember the story. It's strange how allegorical it is now in light of what's been happening in America. Who'd have known?

I think our maladaption goes far beyond politics. Either by design, by happenstance, or by a combination of the two, the aggregate intellectual capacity of America has dropped like a stone. As it has fallen, our willingness to live in accordance with irrational belief systems has grown exponentially. What else can explain a society that believes that evolution is a lie, yet angels are real? What else can explain a society that believes a deity created the world in seven days, but evidence showing how we are damaging our fragile atmosphere is called into question?

If this isn't clear evidence that we are dumbing down, then what is it? We are abandoning reason en masse, and running headlong towards the irrationality of intellectual mumbo jumbo.

I am as spiritual as the next human. Why else do you think I would end everyone of my articles and comments with the tagline, "Blessed be!"? I believe there is a spirit world, and I believe that embracing the spirit helps us all live more complete and fulfilled lives.

However, I realize that my spiritual beliefs are just that, beliefs. They are not based in rationality, they are based in faith; that which cannot be seen or proved scientifically. I therefore live my life with the knowledge that by espousing the world of the spirit, I am espousing some irrationality. If any of my spiritual beliefs goes in opposition to what my rational mind knows, I drop said belief like the proverbial hot potato. That leaves me with very little to believe in, but what I have is good for me, and comforts me.

Obviously, I am the exception, not the rule. Whatever CHOICE one makes in the world of the spirit is fine by me, if and only if said person realizes that those beliefs are CHOICES! When they mistake a personal choice made about an irrational belief system with a provable scientific reality, they have just crossed the bridge into complete irrationality. At that point, they become dangerous, both intellectually and in reality. As I have heard so many times, 9/11 was a faith-based initiative.

There is no difference in substance or style between the Relgious Reich styled "christian" fundaMENTAList, and the Islamic extremist. Both engage in acts of terror. Both self-rigteously impose their draconian beliefs on others by the terror they inflict. Oh sure, the Islamics strap on explosives belts and detonate themselves in the presence of others. The Religious Reichers bomb abortion clinics, kill abortion doctors, and rouse their more brain-dead followers into all manner of violence against gays, street people, and others.

The only difference between the Islamics and the "christians" is degrees. Both engage in self-righteous condemnation of "infidels". Both engage in some form of terrorism to force people to live in fear. Both consider women, homosexuals, "sinners", and other "less than" peoples to be worthy of extermination by one means or the other. Whether someone is killed by a suicide bomb, or a lead pipe to the base of the skull, they are just as dead. Degrees in that kind of situation mean NOTHING!

Pappy, I really empathize with your depressed attitude. But be certain that you aren't confusing depression with anxiety or grief, two cousins. The first step is to notice the problem, and that is threatening, hence appropriate anxiety – for a while. Then, eventually we have sized up the problem and seen that it may be too big this time, and that our dear, sweet Lady Liberty, who has been declining rapidly, is now demented, nasty and aggressive. If you do or ever did love your country, it is appropriate once you have assessed the seriousness of the prognosis to grieve.

I don't know what it is. I can't afford to find out. Last year about this time, I had to go to the emergency room for chest pains. Because of the stress under which I had been living, my blood pressure was very high. Because of that, I developed a cardiac arrythmia. Because of that hospital visit, I am now in debt, and the collectors keep calling day in, day out. I have no means of paying them. And the last thing I need is the stress involved in their continuous annoyance of me.

I would love to go somewhere to find out what's wrong with myself mentally, but the scenario will end one of two ways: either I'll be prescribed drugs that turn me into a robotic zombie, or I'll be given to some therapist who would much rather be making real money to the tune of $200.00 per hour. In either case, my problems won't go away. They will just be put on hold until the therapist gets tired of making nothing and moves on, requiring I get another one, or the prescription runs out, leaving me in a bigger lurch than the one in which I currently exist. Neither are options I want to even consider.

Is this being defeatist? Yes, but it's also being a realist. People with mental disorders are looked down upon by our society. Homosexuals are looked down upon by our society. Unemployed peoples are looked down upon by our society. I have a triple-whammy slapping me upside the head, and there is nothing I can do about it.

Is what I am feeling anxiety or depression? It really doesn't matter. There is nothing I can do about it at this point in time. Worrying about it only makes things worse. So what am I supposed to do?

The thing that has been proved to take me out of that space, a job, is beyond my reach. Whether because of the stain in my credit report because of my hospital visit, or the fact that I am "over the hill" so to speak, there are few places that are willing to give me jobs. Trust me, I send out shitloads of resumes. Few indeed get any response. Those that do get a response don't go beyond the phone interview. When my credit history gets checked, I am screwed. It's the reality of my situation.

I have numerous talents. I have many years of experience in electronics and computers, not to mention automotive repair. None of that means anything. Here I sit, almost three years of uninterrupted unemployment, and no prospects seen on my horizon.

Am I depressed? Am I dispondent? Am I suffering from anxiety? Yes to all of the above, and so many more. Is there anything I can do about it? Besides hanging on to the end of a rope that's frayed beyond belief, no, not really.

While that picture might seem grim, there is some bit of hope that shines through the worst of it. I know that this can't last forever. Whether I am taken out of this by my own death, or whether fortune decides to smile at me again, there will come a change in my reality. Frankly, I am at a point where I don't care which it is, as long as it happens soon. I fear for my sanity sometimes.

Depression includes a feeling of despondent hopelessness, psychological fatigue and the inability to experience pleasure as usual. It is normal to think about suicide at times like these. It is not normal to choose it. You know whether your mood is a threat to your life or not. If it is, tell somebody that can help. If not, please forgive the presumption.

You aren't the first, and I assume you won't be the last to think I am suffering from clinical depression. I know I am suffering from something. While I don't feel I am completely without hope, truth be told, I sometimes get the feeling what hope I have left keeps coming undone.

I am not suicidal in the classical sense. I am not sitting here thinking of ways to, "end it all." However, if my health problems were to take me out, oh well, people die of heart disease every day. I'm just anther critter in the forest. I will be missed by a few, hated by even fewer, and ignored by most. Sounds about right for me.

I think about suicide too, but as a prisoner in a detention center, and that motivates me to get up and get out. I don't think that you are any different than I was before I signed off on this nightmare, and I wasn't suicidal just because I thought about it. But just in case I'm wrong about you, and you feel that death is preferable to life, it's time for you to take care of yourself and get out from under that impossibly heavy weight before it crushes you. You can't save America from itself alone, and you can only afford to try for so long before you are eventually depleted (not to mention incarcerated). You tried. I tried. Bad things happen to good countries.

I am not contemplating suicide. Believe me, there are enough poisons here, enough pills, and even a firearm handy that could make the job relatively quick. No, I don't want to kill myself. However, you are right in one thing, I can't save this country on my own.

I have tried, and I am about ready to say the hell with it all. There is none so blind as he who will not see, and there are way too many willingly blinded morons in this country to even consider trying any longer.

Everyone sees the elephant in the living room. Everyone can hear it's roaring. Everyone can smell its reaking piles of shit and puddles of piss. And yet, everyone continues to pretend it's not really there. That is willing stupidity and ignorance. If those are the kind of people I am trying to enlighten, nothing short of a two-by-four upside their collective heads is going to get the job done. Why waste my time? When they do come around, all they'll do is bitch because I drew their attention to the circus in their living room. Bunch of fucking ingrates!

Hey, look, America had a great run. She'll go down in the books twice: First constitutional democracy that ascended to world greatness before faltering, and first society to land astronauts off of earth. They'll be talking about both of those in 5000 years if we're still around. But polities are like organisms: they are all mortal and have limited lives. Inferior ones cannon help their people or even hurt them, and are short-lived. Successful ones die too, and paradoxically, because of their success. All that a government can do is provide security and economic opportunity, and this one did it so well that it bred successive generations of coddled people until those people had forgotten everything and were unfit to self-govern. Hardship breeds character and strength. It teaches necessary lessons. America is just like George Bush – born with a silver spoon, and it shows. That's the price of self-made success: weak children.

Weak children. I think that part of this shit could be laid at the feet of the ubiquitous Dr. Spock (the baby doctor, not Leonard Nimoy...there are some who still don't know the difference). His books which all could have been retitled Spare the rod and raise stupid, weak, pussified kids have done more to ruin this society than they have to make it better. He and so many of the other "feel good" pop psychology gurus have paved the road to our societal destruction.

There is no more discipline left in this world. A "time out" is no substitute for an ass whipping. Grounding is no substitute for a well deserved slap upside the head. Without discipline, kids become lazy, both physically and mentally. This leads to problems when these kids grow into adulthood. Is this not what we are seeing now?

It's not just about willing stupidity. It's about willing stupidity mixed with zero mental discipline. Is there any wonder why we are presently staring down the barrel of our own doom?

Weak children, oh yes, most definitely. However, some of those children have grown, and they are now weak adults. Perhaps that is why the maddened crowd is so enraptured by our chimp in chief. He is the concrete personification of the weak, pabulum fed, spared rod spoiled child. He is the ultimate pussified spoiled brat trying to look like a tough guy.

Fuck! At long last, I think I finally get it! I have been wondering what it is about DUBYA that so many find so appealing. Now I know!

He is the personification of who they are at their core. He never had to work for anything. He had everything handed to him on a silver platter. He never had to clean up his messes, fix things he broke, or take any real responsibility. He is a weak tit among weak tits, and the people can't seem to get enough of him.

Man, that's so simple, how could I have missed it for so long? It's not about him, it's about what he represents. It's not him the people are so in love with, it's the him that resides in each one of them. Wow, what a complete moment of clarity.

You know, you are right. This country is fucked. We can't even tell the difference between an ineffectual do-nothing and a real strong and brave person. We can't tell the difference between a dullard and a person of letters. The more I think about it, the less there is left for me in this country. maybe it is time to consider heading out to the highway.

I'm rambling. I'd just like to help you feel not so all alone, and not so despondent. Be nearly hopeless if that's what the situation calls for. It's one out in the ninth inning of a 12-1 ball game. You are not a traitor to the team or any less loyal a fan to say that the game is all but lost when it is. It might be a good idea to head for the parking lot before there's a rush to do so, if you get my drift. They're putting up walls and building detention centers. I believe that the outcome of the elections is already determined. Prediction: Next month, the newspapers will report that the neocons retained both houses of Congress due to an unexpected vote of confidence by the American people, and that you will be told that the degree of backlash that you and others describe (and that the exit polls will have confirmed) had been overstated.

I hope you are wrong, but I get the feeling you aren't. Since there is nothing I can do at this point to get out of Dodge, I'll have to stay. Maybe I'll make good ferilizer. Maybe I can become a martyr to true patriotism. Maybe I am just blowing smoke up my own ass. I don't know anymore. I'll tell you how the game goes, if nothing else.

[Tempus] fugit. It's a big world.

Yeah, it's a big world. Time flies when you're having fun. Here's hoping you escape with your mind more intact than mine!

Blessed be!
Pappy

by Pappy (61 articles, 0 quicklinks, 11 diaries, 863 comments) on Friday, October 27, 2006 at 3:13:35 PM