While it's easy to find definitions for the WORD "whore," my efforts to find some commentary on how the word affects the sensibilities of people, particularly women, were fruitless. So I wrote this article, hoping to get a better picture. The answer is all in the comments.
Note: OpEdNews uses a software function called "think twice" that monitors use of a group of possibly offensive words. If a writer includes any of the words in submitted content, he or she gets a message informing that the word is potentially offensive and suggesting that the writer consider using another word. There is no censorship, only the suggestion to consider an alternative word. Some of the commenters are referring to that function.
I've been chastised for using the word WHORE.
I don't associate it with other expletives. It's news to me that that is foul, unacceptable language.
But a number of women have let me know it offends them. I just want to have a bit of a conversation about this.
So I've started this thread to discuss it. If the members of the site find it unacceptable, the word will be added to the "think twice" software used on this site. (Which does not ban or halt the use of the word in any way. It just gently reminds writers that it can be a word which is offensive, misused or abused.)
Funny thing. That software has worked for me. I used to use a lot of the language much more often and rarely do any more. And I dont find it a bit restrictive. I just don't get the messages reminding me any more. I don't miss the words either (mostly words like shit, etc.)
So... why is this offensive? Is it as offensive as the B or C word, as shit? Are there times when it should be used?
Is this a mars and venus dumb, insensitive guy thing that I am clueless on?
I am still trying to put the toilet seat down. I can learn here too. Let's discuss it and come to a policy on it for OpEdNews. The anarchists and those who hate authority figures will howl about free speech. But maybe we'll take a few steps towards conscious civility.
3. A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain.
intr.v.whored, whor·ing, whores
1. To associate or have sexual relations with prostitutes or a prostitute.
2. To accept payment in exchange for sexual relations.
3. To compromise one's principles for personal gain.
[Middle English hore, from Old English hre; see k- in Indo-European roots.]
Word History: Derivatives of Indo-European roots have often acquired starkly contrasting meanings. A prime example is the case of the root *k-, "to like, desire." From it was derived a stem *kro-, from which came the prehistoric Common Germanic word *hraz with the underlying meaning "one who desires" and the effective meaning "adulterer." The feminine of this, *hrn-, became hre in Old English, the ancestor of Modern English whore. In another branch of the Indo-European family, the same stem *kro- produced the Latin word crus, "dear." This word has several derivatives borrowed into English, including caress, cherish, and charity, in Christian doctrine the highest form of love and the greatest of the theological virtues.·Another derivative of the root *k- in Indo-European was *kmo-, a descendant of which is the Sanskrit word for "love," kma, appearing in the name of the most famous treatise on love and lovemaking, the Kamasutra.
Thesaurus:
Noun
1.
whore - a woman who engages in sexual intercourse for money
call girl - a female prostitute who can be hired by telephone
camp follower - a prostitute who provides service to military personnel
comfort woman, ianfu - a woman forced into prostitution for Japanese servicemen during World War II; "she wrote a book about her harsh experiences as a comfort woman"
demimondaine - a woman whose sexual promiscuity places her outside respectable society
adult female, woman - an adult female person (as opposed to a man); "the woman kept house while the man hunted"
Verb
1.
whore - work as a prostitute
work - exert oneself by doing mental or physical work for a purpose or out of necessity; "I will work hard to improve my grades"; "she worked hard for better living conditions for the poor"
whore - compromise oneself for money or other gains; "She whored herself to Hollywood"
compromise - make a compromise; arrive at a compromise; "nobody will get everything he wants; we all must compromise"
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I don't have a problem with it within the context of the situation. She is a whore. Maybe one prefers prostitute or even business woman. Personally, I think whoring should be legalized and regulated so that these banking peckerheads can't screw us over again to distract us from their whoring. Now, the P and C words do bother me.
by
NettieMae (0 articles, 1 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 23 comments)
on Sunday, March 16, 2008 at 4:42:43 PM
a person born of unmarried parents; an illegitimate child.
Still, for men of our age to call each other "bastards" is much more tolerable than you referring to Ashley Dupre as "Spitzer's whore". Besides being incredibly debasing to her, the context, and, in fact, the tenor of your article, is more than a little sexist, and tends toward misogyny.
I find it incomprehensible that you could fail to see the difference between "using the word", in general, and using it to name a specific person, especially one whose name and face is well known.
This young lady had an abusive childhood in a lousy home, and she is pulling herself up by her bootstraps to achieve some measure of success in life. For you to dump on her in that way is despicable.
Furthermore, the fact that you even think in those terms, and find it okay to brand her, or any woman, a "whore", then play dumb about it, is reminiscent of a person who as a matter of course uses the "n" word, then explains how it is he isn't racist.
There is an underlying and unsavory attitude towards women revealed in your post. It isn't flattering.
by
Robert Sargent (10 articles, 0 quicklinks, 24 diaries, 296 comments)
on Sunday, March 16, 2008 at 4:46:03 PM
I asked for discussion about the word, but I guess I stuck my foot deep in it.
Still, methinks you go too far. I specifically described a woman who sells her body for sex, not any other woman. As arbiter of judgment of mankind, do you find prostitute an acceptable term or is "poor misbegotten waif who charges $4000 a coital experience, as she tries to lift herself from her troubled youth," any better?
by
Rob Kall (727 articles, 3771 quicklinks, 311 diaries, 1517 comments)
on Sunday, March 16, 2008 at 6:40:24 PM
point well taken, but let's be real - SHE did not charge 4000 dollars. the agency - excuse me her pimp - charged that. i've no idea what her cut was, but that young woman did not pocket 4000 dollars.
by
Cheryl Biren-Wright (16 articles, 13 quicklinks, 8 diaries, 258 comments)
on Sunday, March 16, 2008 at 7:13:47 PM
You used the word pimp, correcting yourself from agency, and you made entirely the correct choice: the booking agency was serving as a pimp. It is exactly as appropriate as whore.
by
Dana Pico (5 articles, 0 quicklinks, 4 diaries, 135 comments)
on Sunday, March 16, 2008 at 9:10:49 PM
i used it tongue in cheek, but they are not equivalent terms in regards to their effect. whore in our society is generally not used to define a prostitute, but as an insult to women. pimp is often used as a compliment to describe a cool guy or a "player."
by
Cheryl Biren-Wright (16 articles, 13 quicklinks, 8 diaries, 258 comments)
on Sunday, March 16, 2008 at 9:15:54 PM
I don't find the word offensive, but I found the use of the word offensive in the context, and especially the way you implied ownership. She's not "Spitzer's whore". He doesn't own her. And you showed him the respect of calling him by his name, not a john or a trick. You could've shown her the same respect. She's a human being pressed into the circumstance of offering sex for money. Yes, that's the definition of "whore", but I think the way you worded it, and the entire context was offensive.
Robert Sargent is right, context is everything.
by
SpiritBlooms (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 55 comments)
on Monday, March 17, 2008 at 2:07:29 PM
as it was used in this context. It is this woman's profession. The indistinguishable alternative to "whore" would be the synonym "prostitute" which means exactly the same thing without the economy of expression and being no less perjorative. To call her an "escort" or "call girl" is simply a euphemism for the more direct and economical "whore."
In any event, definition #3 of the verb form is almost universally applicable to our discussions on this site as they are preponderantly political in nature.
If we are going to get to finicky about professional nomenclature, then we should probably edit ourselves to call bus drivers "chauffeurs", curling contestants "athletes", and criminals "Mr. President."
by
John Sanchez Jr. (3 articles, 0 quicklinks, 6 diaries, 886 comments)
on Sunday, March 16, 2008 at 5:55:00 PM
I have read all of the posts in the other thread, and this one and i am at a complete loss here. Let me try to break it down for the self-righteous:
1) A whore as defined above, and as every clear thinking person knows, is someone who exchanges sex for money.
2) This woman exchanged sex, for money.
3) This woman is a whore.
Sorry folks, but this is a slam dunk and i cannot believe the grief given someone who calls a spade a spade. What did you want him to refer to her as, a Coitus-Therapist? A Copulation Specialist? Grow up already. She had a bad background? So what? So did alot of people who do not choose to become whores to solve their problems. The excuse making is so hypocritical. If this woman chose to deal drugs, would you be talking about her doing it only to "pull herself up by her bootstraps??? What kind of nonsense is that??? You can say you wish prostitution was legal but the cold reality is that it is NOT. I might add it is extremely convienient to say that you wish prostitution is illegal AFTER something like this happens.
I believe the original point Rob was making is the glorification of prostitution. If i had a 14 year old daughter, i would not want her to see that prostitutes get rewarded with million dollar photoshoots. If i had to refer to the person as a whore to get my point across, damn well i would.
By the way, before the PC Police gang up on me; i am not saying that you have no compassion for the girl. She should get help for whatever ails her but she should be held accountable no more or less than Spitzer or the scum who run the agency. But spare me the victimization nonsense. I have worked with poor women and teen girls who have had rougher lives than this woman, and they did not CHOOSE to become a whore.
Stop losing sight of the choice. She is 22 years old. She is an adult. Maybe she CHOSE this because she can make 5 grand an hour. THAT should offend you; not the fact that someone calls a whore, a whore.
As for the word itself, there is NO WAY it can be banned as it has other connotations. For example, i refer to hannity as Sean "the whore" Hannity. It is not a curse word or profane and it is a legitimate english word.
Spitzer was wrong because he broke the law. The people who run the agency were wrong because they broke the law. The girl was wrong because she broke the law. Everyone has no problem with the first two but all of a sudden we turn into Dr. Phil when it comes to the prostitute?
by
Anthony Wade (134 articles, 2 quicklinks, 44 diaries, 433 comments)
on Sunday, March 16, 2008 at 6:21:14 PM
It isn't the word, it is the contextual hostility and venom that accompanied it. Rob gave lip service to the fact that what the Governor had done was bad, didn't use the word illiegal, just that he was an "ass" and a "fool", but also lamented the fact the a guy that was "presidential" material had been "brought down".
Zero hostility towards Spitzer. No characterization of Spitzer as a criminal or a "John".
Rob's chief concern? Keep this woman down. Don't let her capitalize on this. Are you worried that Spitzer might get a $Million advance for a book deal?
The hostility in Rob's piece, not just the title, but the full article, is remarkable. It is as if he is blaming her for Spitzer's demise.
I'm not advocating letting this "Kristen" off the hook legally. I just don't like seeing her viciously, and maliciously, shamed and dehumanized.
by
Robert Sargent (10 articles, 0 quicklinks, 24 diaries, 296 comments)
on Sunday, March 16, 2008 at 9:38:44 PM
I just don't like seeing her viciously, and maliciously, shamed and dehumanized.
By telling the truth? If you have a problem with the balance in the article, attack that, not the correct usage of the word whore. I would agree that Spitzer deserves more angst than this girl, absolutley. But that does not change what she was doing.
by
Anthony Wade (134 articles, 2 quicklinks, 44 diaries, 433 comments)
on Monday, March 17, 2008 at 11:17:18 AM
Robert Sargent and SpiritBlooms were complaining about the spirit of the article that was shaped by the use of the word whore. I thought Robert Sargent was a bit vehment about it, but his arguement was sound.
Anthony Wade. For the sake of arguement let's assume that you have erectile disfunction and are overweight. Just for the sake of arguement.
It would be accurate, but very hurtful and mean spirited of me to call you a "limp-dicked blubber belly."
Rob chose to attack a relatively powerless bit player in this drama. Describing her as a whore was mean spirited.
Anthony's claim that the term was literally accurate reminds me of pharisees ready to cast the first stone.
In and of itself the word whore is not taboo to most people. But it is very insulting.
by
John Haigh (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 83 comments)
on Thursday, March 20, 2008 at 8:14:41 AM
If breaking the law is the standard for using dehumanizing terms against certain people, then all of us here at OEN will certainly be in for some rough times as I see the law of the land developing in this country. As a progressive, I do not think marijuana dealers and users are sub-human, nor that they should be slandered in any manner that dehumanizes them. I do not think prostitutes are sub-human, nor that they should be slandered in any way that dehumanizes them. I have the same feelings for "spades," Jews, gays, hispanics, migrant workers, death row inmates, and basically all human beings that are not actively engaged in the rape and murder of the planet. I reserve the word "whore" for those who sell their birthright to the ruling elite at the expense of this once great nation and its even greater ideals. This woman is a call-girl, a prostitute, an escort: nothing more;nothing less. Calling her a whore may denote exactly what she did, but it connotes something that she is. The rubric "whore" implies she is one of a group that is unworthy and erasable--exterminatable. Dangerous wording in these times. As progressives, we should set the highest standards on the value of all of human life. We should not pluck words of description from the dregs of our creativity.
by
W.M.L. (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 259 comments)
on Sunday, March 16, 2008 at 10:20:03 PM
YOU do not get to decide what words mean that have been used for centuries. Do not change this word. It means what is defined above. The woman exchnaged sex for money, the law is not even the issue. Words do not dehumanize, people do by their choices.
If your skin is so thin that a word can dehumanize you, then you need to never leave your house.
by
Anthony Wade (134 articles, 2 quicklinks, 44 diaries, 433 comments)
on Monday, March 17, 2008 at 11:24:52 AM
Word definitions are determined by usage. Anyone can put any definition on a word they want. Of course that may adversely affect their ability to communicate clearly with others, but dictionaries follow common usage. These days, with access to dictionaries easier, dictionaries also dictate usage to a great degree. But if you look into how dictionaries are updated, you'll find that they rely on common usage.
So yes, everyone gets to change word meanings to some degree.
The word "whore" doesn't reflect the metaphoric meaning given in the comment above, in the dictionary I use most often, but the word "prostitute" is listed with that as a third definition:
"3. a person who willingly uses his or her talent or ability in a base and unworthy way, usually for money."
(Random House Webster's Unabridged Dictionary for Windows, copyright 1999.)
My copy's a few years old. I imagine the word "whore" will soon follow suit, based on usage, if it hasn't already in more recent editions.
The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines "whore", in its third definition, as
"I reserve the word "whore" for those who sell their birthright to the ruling elite at the expense of this once great nation and its even greater ideals."
Which defines most politicians very well, as well as all of us who do anything for money, or other rewards, that we don't feel 100% positive about -- which is everyone, at some point. Carolyn Myss, in her book Sacred Contracts, writes about the archetypes we encompass in our lives, and one of the four that she says everyone encompasses in some way is the Prostitute. But you want to single out this one young woman and attack her.
Some of us have been accused on threads here of having a "holier than thou" attitude by saying Bush & Co. should be impeached. Is it holier than thou to want to impeach leaders who betrayed our trust, which they swore to uphold, who defied the Constitution and lied to take us into a war that has killed hundreds of thousands? Yet here people are acting as if this one young woman is the ultimate scourge of society for trying to make a living while she pursued a music career, and just happened to be the one Spitzer was caught paying for sex with. Something he had spoken against and enforced laws against. Meanwhile politicians are whoring themselves right and left with moneyed interests to get elected, and dividing us while they're at it by bashing each other and refusing to impeach corrupt leaders, refusing to rein in robber baron corporatists because then they wouldn't get all those nice campaign contributions. The hypocrisy astounds me. I'm reminded of a Bible story in which people were told to let the one without sin cast the first stone at a prostitute. (I'm not even Christian, and that metaphor stands out for me here.) Also, she may be an adult at 22, but 22 is still a very young adult, often in need of guidance and mentoring, not persecution and lack of forgiveness over her poor choices, especially if she didn't have good parenting.
If you're going to feel betrayed, indignant, and angry, then focus your anger where it belongs -- on Spitzer. This is the meaning of high crimes and misdemeanors, that someone in a position of trust as a leader has an even greater responsibility than others to uphold the law, because they serve as a role model. They must be held to higher standards to maintain the public's confidence in government.
by
SpiritBlooms (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 55 comments)
on Wednesday, March 19, 2008 at 1:07:13 PM
Using your three definitions of "whore," then all married women are whores, because they are exchanging sex for money. We just PCly called it marriage.
by
Sandy Sand (130 articles, 0 quicklinks, 151 diaries, 1160 comments)
on Monday, March 17, 2008 at 9:14:19 AM
IF a woman strictly marries for money, than maybe you could associate that word, but to paint with that broad a brush is an insult to all married women.
by
Anthony Wade (134 articles, 2 quicklinks, 44 diaries, 433 comments)
on Monday, March 17, 2008 at 11:19:21 AM
we can post definitions from webster's and merriam's and any number of references 'til the whores come home, but they don't accurately reflect how our society chooses to use that word.
like b*tch, and the "c" word and others, whore is very often attributed to girls and women who are NOT prostitutes or otherwise "loose" women. and, it is often used simply to put down women irregardless of their sexual activity.
go to a bar on any given night, watch a bunch of guys put down a few beers, sit back and listen to the words they start using when talking about women.
rob, i will never forget one of my first college parties 25 years ago. i deflected a pass from a guy only to be called a "fucking whore" as i walked by him. maybe that's why you don't see the connection that some of us are making. you've never had it thrown at you. doesn't matter how self-assured you are - it stings like hell and it goes deep.
also, it's a difficult predicament women find themselves in because as someone mentioned in your other post that guys who are sexually active are patted on the back. a woman with a healthy sexual appetite risks their reputation being damaged.
i mentioned in the previous post that because of the way whore is used - outside of it's original meaning - it is especially offensive to some when a man uses it in the same way a couple of black friends might use the "n" word in a playful way, but it would not be cool at all for a white person to step in and use it.
i think some women too were offended that your article sounded so angry at her while spitzer was the tragic hero. as far as i know she's not signed any contracts with men's magazines, but you sounded already accusatory and it stood in strange contrast with your subsequent claim to want to help vulnerable girls by not glamorizing what she has done - but how long ago was she just a fragile, vulnerable girl? and then she's got a middle-class white male calling her a whore and make no mistake about it, using whore as opposed to prostitute is a far more subjective and weighty term that adds a judgment rather than just identifies the profession.
as i said in the other thread while i was offended by
r)
- in Indo-European roots.]
, appearing in the name of the most famous treatise on love and lovemaking, the Kamasutra.
