A Question to Republican Apologists: Why not Huckabee?

So during this nomination, and especially in the post-Iowa caucus landscape, all of the big GOP power players from elected officials to Rush Limbaugh are really aggressively pushing for an “anyone but Huckabee” nominee, but why?

In Mike Huckabee, the right has the perfect candidate. He’s just so darn likeable! I almost want him to become president. He’s funny, engaging, fresh, and above all else, the man is honest. Agree with him or not, there’s no doubt in my mind, and there shouldn’t be in anyone else’s, that he is one candidate who believes deeply in everything that he says.

Think about it for a second. A national figure from the right of the Republican Party who possesses deep personal beliefs in something. It actually does take a second to set in.

Romney’s negatives among Republicans are way up, despite the perception that he is perhaps the most “electable” in the field. His GOP opponents joke that he is the one true candidate of change, because he changes his positions on issues just about as often has he changes landscaping companies.

If the disingenuous “flip flop” fakery in 2004 worked against John Kerry, who was a courageous war hero with the guts to not only stand up for his country in war, but against it when his country was wrong, just imagine how successful it would be against a real flip-flopper in a general election, presuming Romney is the Republican nominee. It’s already working well against him in the primary.

McCain, McCain, McCain

John McCain simply McCain’t win. For starters, the man is just too old. As in, he really doesn’t look good at all. More often than not, he doesn’t sound very good either. McCain isn’t a man who is advanced in years but still spry and has energy, he looks tired and beaten down.

Besides, his immigration plan is awful. No amount of sticking to his guns will save him from members of his own party who will go to the polls on February 5th with that issue on their minds.  Also, no matter what, the Republican base won’t the “base” just not vote for him.

With Giuliani out, and with Romney getting kicked down every day by his opponents as he continues to reinvent himself with the watchful eye of the national media as a witness, and with McCain as a hesitant alternative who no one but New Hampshire really loves (we don't like him that much here in Arizona, folks), why not, Republican apologists, support Huckabee en mass? It’s his borderline insane tax plan, isn’t it? It’ll never pass anyway.

Huckabee, or Hucka-no?

In all seriousness, Huckabee is cool. He's a universally likable, genuine nice guy who is a Baptist minister, he plays bass in a rock band called Capitol Punishment, Chuck Norris and Ted Nugent have both endorsed him, and he a guy who has within him the personal commitment and will to lose 110 pounds without surgery at a time when obesity, especially among children, is a national crisis, an epidemic.

I know I’ve said it, but I almost want to vote for him. He reminds me of a nice uncle from the country. Conservative as a product of his environment, but a great guy, nonetheless. It’s a real shame that I differ from his beliefs ideologically on almost every key issue.

So, Republican apologists, I ask again, why isn’t there any party unity behind the guy who can best be described as the Bill Clinton of the GOP?  Is it that he’s honest? That’s it, isn’t it? I knew it!

Anyways, I just don't get it. In a field of bad Republican candidates with one singular exception (Ron Paul doesn’t count, he’s really a Libertarian and completely non-establishment anyways), why is it that you guys repeatedly continue to put your worst foot forward? If this is some strange strategy of defeat, I think it’s going to work for you.