If George W. Bush had not been an un-American un-President, then he would have led the international community to condemn any actions even vaguely resembling torture as patently inhuman and un-American; he would not have had the man who would be his attorney general torture logic and language and his vice president speak passionately before Congress and the public in pathetic attempts to justify and identify barbaric practices as anything but torture, which not only offends any being remotely human but also tends to yield information that those being interrogated just believe their tormentors want to hear.
If George W. Bush had not been an un-American un-President, then he would have championed the precious civil liberties that each of us as Americans is supposed to enjoy, that every human being deserves to exercise (as the administration repeatedly gives lip service to when waging war overseas), and that our sworn enemies swear to extinguish in the U.S. and the world; he would not have defied the explicit laws of the land, written by the legislative branch and equally rightly overseen by the judicial branch, in that most-American of institutions -- the system of checks and balances -- and he would have never even dreamed of employing the most powerful intelligence operations the world has ever known to go on fishing expeditions through untold millions of personal and business communications, almost all of which were made by innocent citizens thinking, naively, that their privacy would never be invaded except by court order, as guaranteed by the Fourth Amendment to our once-respected Constitution.
If George W. Bush had not been an un-American un-President, then he would have kept the international coalition formed in the wake of our tragedy of 9/11 together, hunting down those who actually attacked us and rebuilding societies we had to tear apart to root them out; he would not have squandered international good will, thumbing his nose at our traditional and new allies, calling them names, and feeding them -- and the American public and Congress -- "cherry picked intelligence," half truths, and outright lies in order to lead our nation to war against a nation that never attacked us -- for reasons that range from the discredited or imperialistic to petty or, most charitably, overly idealistic -- stretching our forces to the breaking point and, as a consequence of scandalously poor planning, setting in motion a chain of potentially catastrophic events in a strategically vital area of the world over which we have precious little control.
If George W. Bush had not been an un-American un-President, then he would have done everything in his power to prevent the drowning of an American city or at least have done everything in his power to save its inundated survivors and rebuild its vital, storied region; he and his subordinates would not have installed in positions responsible for not only that but also other concerns vital to America (such as protection vs. an avian influenza pandemic or a bioterrorist attack) cronies whose only "qualifications" for the jobs, often taken at the expense of renowned experts in the fields, were their purely political connections.
If George W. Bush had not been an un-American un-President, then he would have focused on helping our fellow citizens most in need -- the grassroots of our economy, to be perfectly dispassionate about it -- including any and all of us when facing medical catastrophe; he would not have concentrated on enriching those already rich, tried to gut Social Security, promoted legislation that benefits drug and insurance companies more than the seniors it was purported to help, and sent his vice president to cast the tie-breaking vote cutting off help for those less fortunate than most (let alone those in the president's inner circle).
If George W. Bush had not been an un-American un-President, then he would have practiced fiscal responsibility, balancing budgets and continuing to amass surpluses for our treasury, as did his predecessor; he would not have put this country unnecessarily deeper in debt, particularly to foreign powers.
If George W. Bush had not been an un-American un-President, then he would have encouraged legislation protecting our irreplaceable American heritage of land, air, and water; he would not have done everything he could to exploit the priceless treasures of our nation as a whole for the short-term greed of a few.
If George W. Bush had not been an un-American un-President, then he would have demanded the resignation of anyone in his administration who revealed the identity of an intelligence agent, and thus her operatives and contacts overseas, fighting terrorism, and encouraged whistleblowers to come forth and help root out inefficiency and corruption at all levels of government; he would not have fostered a climate of stonewalling and antagonism towards those who speak the sometimes uncomfortable truth, vital to our national security.
If George W. Bush had not been an un-American un-President, then he would have nominated for the Supreme Court those whose primary mission in public life was to protect the powerless from the powerful; he would not have nominated those whose professional life was devoted to serving the powerful, at the expense of the powerless.
If George W. Bush had not been an un-American un-President, then his popularity might be growing, not shrinking, as he became respected for standing up for what is best in America; he would probably not be increasingly mentioned in terms of impeachment on a variety of high crimes and misdemeanors (far more serious than Oval Office hankie pankie).
So as the GOP rats increasingly desert the sinking Bush ship of state, allow me to wish you a happy midterm congressional election year of 2006. And remember, it takes a village -- or at least a majority in one house of Congress -- to raise a subpoena.