Yesterday Rep. Virgil Goode, Republican of Virginia, took the House floor by rhetorical storm, quite possibly rousing up the dead ghosts of Martin Luther King, Abe Lincoln and John Winthrop.
"Thee eyes of thee whirled are upon this House," Goode declared in a trembling southern accent, echoing Winthrop's "A Model of Christian Charity."
Not since King's "I Have a Dream," has any man so eloquently urged that we sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
Goode God.
"In no way," Goode said, each word trailing out to the feet of the Lincoln monument, "do I want to comfort and encourage the radical Muslims who want to destroy our country and who want to wipe the so-called infidels like myself and many of you from the face of the Earth.
"In no way do I want to aid and assist the Islamic jihadists who want the crescent and stahr to wave over the Capitol of the United States and ovah the White House of this country."
"In no way," he could have continued, "do I want to allow these Mooslims to sanctify the marriage of two men, in no way... (cheers, and amens)
"In no way, will I allow baseball caps to become baseball turbans, in no way... (raucous ovations)
"Can I stand to see our auto-mow-biles replaced with Arabian camels." ("Say it like it is brother.")
And then he really said this: "I fear that radical Muslims who want to control the Middle East and ultimately the whorl would love to see 'In God We Trust' stricken from our money and replaced with 'In Moo-ham-id We Trust.'"
He could have followed that with this: "I fear a time when all the Mooslim children can hold hands with all the little white boys and little white girls. I fear a time... (amens)
"When high school cafeterias serve falafels instead of freedom fries, I fear a time... (yes brother)
"When we are judged not by the size of our SUV nor the floor space of our home, but by the color of our head-dress..."
I think somebody deserves a new monument.
Dean Danger Powers is an international man of mystery.
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