We the people of the Homeland, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, kill the terrorists, lock up the immigrants, and honor our Commander in Chief, do promise to vote, and shop, and watch the television news sometimes, and definitely to vote. Details follow.
Section 1. All legislative powers herein granted shall be vested in a Unitary Executive of the United States, attended by a royal court which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.
Section 2. The House of Representatives shall be composed of members chosen every second year by the private election corporations hired by the several states. There shall be no election day, but rather an Election Year, thus limiting the work of members to the odd-numbers years of Our Lord.
No person shall be a Representative who shall not profess absolute loyalty to either the Republican or Democrat Party, or both, and God.
Representatives and direct taxes shall be apportioned among the several states which may be included within this Homeland, and taxes among the other nations of the world, according to their respective numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole number of free persons, including those bound to service for a term of years, three fifths of all Muslims and Mexicans. The actual Enumeration shall be made every term of ten years, in such manner as the Unitary Executive shall direct. The number of Representatives shall not exceed one for every thirty thousand Christians, but each state shall have at least one Representative.
When vacancies happen in the Representation from any state, the Diebold Corporation shall issue virtual writs of election to fill such vacancies.
The majority Party of the House of Representatives shall choose its speaker and other officers. The minority Party shall do likewise.
The House shall possess no power of impeachment, nor any other actual power, but shall be permitted to transmit its activities over C-Span.
Section 3. The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each state, chosen by the Diebold Corporation, for six years; and each Senator shall have one vote.
No person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the age of thirty years, and been nine years a citizen of the United States and who shall not, when elected, be an inhabitant of that state for which he shall be chosen, possess at least $1 million, and swear allegiance to the Democrat or Republican Party or both, and God.
The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no vote, unless they be equally divided, except by threatening violence toward the other Senators to compel their votes.
The two Parties in the Senate shall choose their other officers, and also a President pro tempore, in the absence of the Vice President, or when he shall reside in an undisclosed location.
The Senate shall not try any impeachments, nor any similar impertinences not pre-approved by the Vice President.
Senators shall have access to C-Span and be permitted to campaign for the office of Unitary Executive.