There’s a lot of language today that confuses me. For example, does anyone know why certain people try to get someone’s attention by shouting out, “Yo!” And if that doesn’t work, they become redundant and shout out “Yo Yo!” That could be very confusing if you work for Duncan Toys or are a classic cellist. In today’s language, everyone is a brother or, if they need to save their voice, “Bro,” as in, “yo, Bro!” When not being siblings, they’re “Dudes,” as in “Hey, Dude,” not to be confused with “Hey, Jude,” a greeting reserved for hip Jews. I also don’t know, like y’know, what I should, well, like y’know know. From pre-pubescent teens and Hollywood celebrities to, like, other people, it seems that every other word is like, well, y’know. What is it I’m supposed to know, and why should I like it? Y’know wha’ I’m saying? Does anyone know what the “total package” means? How should I wrap up a total package? Is it cheaper to send it to a business than a residence? And if it’s a supersize package, is it like, y’know, totally awesome? Hollywood, whether represented by TV reality series or a variety show at the local Elks, also confuses me. Emcees are enamored with constantly telling us to “Give it up for _____” I have no idea what “it” is. What am I supposed to be giving up? And why should I give it up? Is giving up an “It” deductible as charity expense? Why is it beneficial for the talent to get my “It”? Before someone gets my “It,” do they need to first get approval from an insurance clerk in a windowless office half a continent away? Will they, or me, get fully reimbursed for the “It”? Or does “It” carry a large deductible? If I don’t have an “it,” can I buy it somewhere so I can give it up? Should I make sure that I buy only union-made “Its”? Does Wal-Mart sell cheaper non-union “Its” made in China? Do the more upscale stores buy their “Its” from India? During the 1920s, movie star sex goddess Clara Bow was known as the “It Girl.” Do my hosts want me to give up sex? Or do they want me to indulge in sex with whomever they’re introducing, whether singer, dancer, or malleable gymnast? When not telling us to give it up, emcees ask us to “put your hands together for ____.” But, they never tell us how long we should put our hands together? A couple of seconds? A minute? Until the performance is over? And, just how am I supposed to put my hands together? Should I clasp my hands, with fingers interlocked over my head? Behind my neck? On my stomach? If I’m only going to be half-enamored by an act, could I just grasp my left forearm with my right hand, and avoid putting both hands together? If I want the act to succeed, should I put my hands together as if praying? More important, if both my hands are together, how can I give “It” up at the same time? President Bush confuses me. For instance, he tells us “When the Iraqis stand up, we’ll stand down.” That’s just not right. If someone is standing, shouldn’t we also be standing? That just seems like common courtesy. And if everyone else is sitting, can’t we sit, especially if we’ve been standing so long that we’re getting not just knee and back pains but a pain in our ass? Maybe the President wants us to act like car cylinders that fire in alternating order, and he can play Whack-a-Mole. President Bush has also told us innumerable times we must “stay the course.” Just what course is it we’re staying. Is it a course in futility and self-destruction? Is it one in propaganda or a how-to course on the subject of rewarding friends with no-bid million dollar contracts? Maybe it’s a course in how much stress we can subject teenagers to before they become body parts. He’s never explained that clearly. Also, I’m confused by who’s teaching this course. Is it the Mongol invaders? Machiavelli, Stalin, or Cheney? I doubt it’s being taught by Gandhi or Martin Luther King Jr. When President Bush enters a room, a disembodied voice tells us, “Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States.” Everyone sitting then stands up; those who are already standing can continue standing, stand down, or levitate. Perhaps that voice should introduce Mr. Bush with what’s more acceptable—“Yo, Dudes and Dudettes, like y’know, put your hands together and give it up for the total package, my Main Man, the Prez!” We could then stand up and give it up, as we have done for six years. Ya know wha’ I’m saying? [Walter Brasch’s current books are ‘Unacceptable’: The Federal Government’s Response to Hurricane Katrina, Sex and the Single Beer Can: Probing the Media and American Culture, and America’s Unpatriotic Acts. The books are available at amazon.com, and most major online stores. You may contact Brasch, an award-winning journalist and university professor, through his website, www.walterbrasch.com]
Walter Brasch is an award-winning journalist and university professor. His current books are America's Unpatriotic Acts: The Federal Government's Violation of Constitutional and Civil Rights, and 'Unacceptable': The Federal response to Hurricane Katrina, both available at amazon.com, borders.com and most major on-line bookstores.
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A few weeks ago I was invited to a "home church". It appeared to me that this particular "home church", as are perhaps many, is designed for people like myself who do not sense any benefit from attending regular church. At this home church the "misinster", a soft spoken, sweet sounding man in his 60s, began "services" by saying something along these lines: Let's have a word of prayer so that we can draw into the presence of the Lord. He then turned to me, the new face in the group, and asked if I had any "specific prayer requests". I said that I was wishing to make a comment. Ever so sweetly he said "Praise Jesus", and invited me to make my comment. I said that I prefer to live my life on the assumption that we are at all times in the "presence of the Lord", that there is no need to pray so that we can "draw into the presence of the Lord". At this point the sweet voice of this man gave way to a very aggressive voice, "We're not going to get hung-up on words, here. I want us to have an emotional experience, not an intellectual experience". I said that I recalled a verse in the Bible that had Jesus saying something about loving God with all our heart, strength, and mind. I said that that seems to indicate that we do well to keep our intellects engaged, even when seeking emotional fellowship. The "minister" again let me know, in no uncertain terms, that he was not going to "argue" over his use of words. I then excused myself from this get together.
Driving home in my car I [again] reflected on how it is that hundreds of millions of individuals who claim to be devotees to Jesus....his teachings and his life's example...give their allegiance to this or that country, and then participate in, or give various types of support for lethal war. Never mind that Jesus said "Love your enemies", "Overcome evil with good", "Do good to those who would do you harm", "Treat others as you would like them to treat you". What example of a disengaged intellect could be more vivid than that of a group of self-proclaimed "Christian soldiers" praying to Jesus in the moments just before they set out on a mission to kill the enemy? Perhaps the praying conjures emotions that will temporarily help embolden the killers, but where is the intellect. Assuming that there was some remnant of intellectual integrity yet intact prior to basic training, it seems that, in most cases, that intellectual integrity was systematically undermined during basic training. Many of us can yet here our dads' "Christian admonishments" as we borded the bus or train or airplane, headed for basic, "It's God and country, son. Give it your very best."
Is it any wonder that there is so much pain, sorrow and grief in this world?
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John (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 29 comments)
on Sunday, July 22, 2007 at 3:20:09 PM
When I went through Marine Corps boot camp in January 1969, we were encouraged to laugh at God and religion generally. Sunday services were called "magic shows". When it rained, they declared that "God is pissing on us." It was said that God hates Marines because he's jealous, you see: He always wanted to be one.
They also encouraged us to forget our homes and families and taught us to hate and despise civilians. They told us what our girlfriends, our wives, our mothers were doing with "Jody," while we were serving our country.
Later, and yet, today, I see that what they told us about our families was mostly redundant. Nobody in my family, no civilian who had never been there, ever believed any of my stories from boot camp. My mother called me a liar, point blank. At that moment, I grew up completely. Home became a place I remembered fondly, but I never again worried about anthing that happened there. I let my siblings deal with whatever happened in that place that used to be.
Other vets, I know, endure similar problems. For me, the whole experience serves to explain why so few Americans believe what's now being done in our name. They cannot, will not because they don't want to believe. They neither understand nor appreciate their freedoms, which is why they're willing to hand their civil liberties over to Bush. There it is.
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Jimmy Montague (3 articles, 2 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 63 comments)
on Monday, July 23, 2007 at 10:22:46 AM
