> >In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the earth and populated >the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and >red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and >healthy lives. > >Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream >and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" >And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add >some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled. > >And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure >that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the >wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from >size 12 to size 18. > >So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented >Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. >And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast. > >God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil >in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and >chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained >more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. > >God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food >Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and >named it "Devil's Food." > >God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose >those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man >would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed >and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds. > >Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming >with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the >starchy center into chips and deep -fried them. And Man gained >pounds. > >God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and >still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its >99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And >Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." >And Man went into cardiac arrest. > >God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created >HMOs. > > > >Thought for the day . . . There is more money being spent on >breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This >means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with >perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to >do with them. > >If you don't send this to five old friends right away there will be >five fewer people laughing in the world
