Since George Bush insisted the United States had to attack Iraq because we'd been attacked by Saudis from Afghanistan, and nearly the entire population of the country swallowed that stuff, the fact of the matter is, what folks in this country will swallow has only gotten more desultory. It's gotten so much more desultory that I'm at last I'm so irreducibly forlorn that I'm giving up.
It's hopeless, how hopeless most Americans have proven themselves to be. I'm giving up.
I've been looking for an analogy; what has taken place here; taken place politically, what has taken place in our religions, what has taken place throughout our culture.
Slim Chance, one of the world's wealthiest cattlemen found a new way to become even wealthier: open a fast-food chain that will sell Scat-a-Burgers; "Steamin' from the stockyards to you" is the marketing slogan.
Bet you're wondering how Slim figures on selling that crap, and who's gonna buy it, then swallow that S**T (Scat).
Only the truly naive wonder. Slim already owns the newspapers and radio and television stations he needs. He's going to manage to dominate the market with a huge marketing campaign. He'll blanket the nation, morning to night in every market, using every communications medium; newsprint, radio, television . . . Everywhere, all the time, he's going to sell that S**T, and before long Americans will buy it. Not only will they buy it, they'll gulp it down and ask for more. They'll even get their friends and relatives to buy Slim's Scat-a-Burgers.
Buying it, swallowing it, and demanding their friends do the same will become the new American standard, so much so that that's what it will mean to even be an American. A huge American flag will fly atop the Christian crosses that will front of every store. They'll be emblazoned on every package. In every news ad and in every commercial, there they'll be: the American flag and the Christian cross. No one's going to ask what's in those Scat-a-Burgers, or whether they're good for you, or potentially harmful. That would be unAmerican, as unAmerican as asking Slim to pay taxes on all the wealth he accrued by selling S**T to Americans.
-- Ed Tubbs