Service? Declining Retail Sector Will Special Order It for You

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By Martha Rosenberg (about the author) Page 1 of 2 page(s)

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For OpEdNews: Martha Rosenberg - Writer

"No service?" ask two irate customers in a New Yorker-style cartoon as they pitch articles of clothing across the bar. "No shirt! No shoes!"

They may have even lit up a cigarette.

It's no secret the US retail sector is hurting as the holidays approach, having just reported its worst quarter since 1992.

But how much is its own fault with its ubiquitous anti-service signs like, No Food, No Drinks, No Strollers, No Change, No Restroom, No Soliciting, No Backpacks, No Refunds, No Exchanges, No Bills Over $20, No Credit Cards, No Special Orders, No Pets, No More Than 3 Students At A Time and No Leaning On The Counter (for the 3 students at a time).

Especially when the "No Strollers" store sells kids' stuff? And the "No Backpacks/No More Than 3 Students At A Time" store sells school supplies?

Twenty years ago it was an ethnic joke that God created WASPs because someone has to pay retail.

Today, the joke might be someone has to buy offline with internet shopping so easy and, sometimes, quicker.

Sure the "career opportunity" of checking customers out at the counter while taking orders on a Bluetooth headset and wearing an advertising badge that says "Preparation H on sale" must be degrading.

It is even more degrading to have that person keep you waiting for 14 minutes only to shake you down for the store's "valued customer rewards" program before ringing you up and register annoyance that you would presume to use cash--CASH--instead of a debit card. Pun intended.

About how about the poor lady born in 1945 who tries to write a check! Security--please come to the front desk.

And when did someone needing to order something not in stock become the imposition known as Having To Special Order?

Of course we didn't reach the point of stores trying to lock in your loyalty as a customer after ignoring you for 14 minutes overnight.

It is the logical outgrowth of service cutting--born when restaurants discovered people would bus, absurdly, their own tables and tip for counter, not table service--and personalization also spawned by restaurants who engineered the little, "Hello My Name is Dwayne and I will be your server this evening. Tonight we offer a glazed, skewered, marinated, caramelized bisque of ..." speech which produced better tips.

(Was this the beginning of videos replacing reading?)

Personalization With No Service is what bring you offers of jewelry and leather goods in your credit card bill as the company slips in a $60 dollar "service charge" because it can.

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Martha Rosenberg is columnist and cartoonist based in Chicago I

The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author
and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

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