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Moron Warning

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opednews.com

This articul is particularly for those who don't understand the anger that builds up from having taken and failed or under-achieved on college admistion tests. This fury can be called SAT ire.


Our  editorial team is considering a new policy-- including a moron warning when an article requires a modicum of intelligence to be understanded.  After receiving complaining emails from angry, offended people who have read and misunderstood articles which were meaned to be funny, or which expected a reasonable awareness of current events, we are considering instituting this policey. At the least, this article will be included in our FAQ.

Of course, our challenge is that anyone coming to this site will not consider themselves to be a moron. Therefore, this article will help you to determine whether you are at risk.

If you read an article about someone who took the tests for college and is now angry (SAT ire) without understanding it, you might be at risk.

If you have, let's say, half or quarter a modicum of intelligence, or, if you are unsure, there are a variety of ways you can ascertain your intellektual capasity. For example, when you receive emails from Nigeria, or elsewhere in Africa, offering you a share of millions of dollars of money that someone, recently deceased squirrelled away, do you seriously consider telling anyone about the email, or do you follow the instructions to keep it secret?

If you are put in a room with a bathtub and given a cop, a bowl and a thimble, how do you empty the tub?  Using the drain, of course.



And then, there is the most obvious question. On election day, was Sarah Palin your favorite candidate?

If you've gotten a clue that you are among the tiny fraction of people who, upon reading this brief warning article, experience the sub-college level anger -- SAT ire-- then we would strongly advise you to avoid reading the rest of the articles on the site. Your existing state of mind may be put at risk. Continued reading could cause adverse reactions including:

-Intense disagreements and arguments with like-minded family members.
-Guilt and regret.
-Frequent self name calling, such as, "how could I have been such a fucking idiot?"
-Loss of friends who thought the same way.
-Increasingly prolonged episodes of intelligent understanding of old history with new perspectives.
-Conversations where you admit deep stupidity and idiocy to people you used to hold in contempt

PS. If you are getting ready to email me or comment on my spelling, you've flunked the satire test. I'm just pointing this out to save you the time and embarassment. If you didn't figure out all the misspellings were intentional and part of the plan of the article, you need to work on your funny bone. You are taking things too seriously.

 

Rob Kall is executive editor, publisher and site architect of OpEdNews.com, Host of the Rob Kall Bottom Up Radio Show (WNJC 1360 AM), President of Futurehealth, Inc, more...)
 

The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author
and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

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Our esteemed host wrote: by Dana Pico on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 8:12:22 AM
More seriously, though . . . by Dana Pico on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 8:19:52 AM
clarifikation pleas by michal54 on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 9:35:13 AM
Nice by UncleSim on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 1:24:29 PM
Cool catch! by Dana Pico on Sunday, Nov 30, 2008 at 10:38:09 AM
How by Michael Dewey on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 8:50:26 AM
Good Grief! by Sandy Sand on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 9:20:25 AM
"morons" by denise faircloth on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 9:38:17 AM
You should apologize... by Richmond Shreve on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 9:58:21 AM
Two politicians and a cup by John Olsen on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 10:12:07 AM
Never underestimate a moron by Gary Denson on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 10:26:54 AM
The satire or irony doesn't even matter here by Pat Smith on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 10:33:03 AM
Apostrophes by Betsy on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 12:17:18 PM
Actually by Pat Smith on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 1:58:09 PM
Crikey! by Meryl Ann Butler on Sunday, Nov 30, 2008 at 4:53:11 AM
Me... by Mystic Wizard on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 10:46:03 AM
I'm inertained when I come to OpEd by Gallaher on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 11:02:21 AM
"articles which were meaned to be funny" by Michael Lubin on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 12:10:41 PM
oops by Michael Lubin on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 12:45:55 PM
Self-SAT-isfied by Debbie Scally on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 12:15:02 PM
: )) by Betsy on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 12:20:25 PM
I'm definitely a computer idiot. by John Hanks on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 12:25:38 PM
First thought by Laudyms on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 1:22:09 PM
thiss z the dummmist artickle hivever red by Better World Order on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 2:08:57 PM
roflmao! by Meryl Ann Butler on Sunday, Nov 30, 2008 at 4:49:36 AM
Funny... by Sherry Mann on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 2:23:15 PM
Don't Spill the Beans on Satire by Rady Ananda on Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 at 7:18:43 PM
Just remember... by John Sanchez Jr. on Sunday, Nov 30, 2008 at 12:08:56 AM
Spell-check? by Dana Pico on Sunday, Nov 30, 2008 at 10:45:08 AM
we resemble this by sometimes blinded on Sunday, Nov 30, 2008 at 1:29:36 PM
why? by thom hera on Friday, Dec 5, 2008 at 11:51:10 AM