Mark Sanford's Dilemma and the Quest for the Good: I

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For OpEdNews: Andrew Bard Schmookler - Writer

I'd like to share my thoughts about Mark Sanford, the "fallen" governor of South Carolina, and where he is in his life.

It is with my focus on the question, "Where from here lies the good for
Mark Sanford?" that I address this Sanford situation. For many
progressives, this has been an opportunity to dump on Sanford, who has
been a soldier in the other political army. That's
understandable. But it is not as an enemy that I'm regarding
Sanford here, but as a human being who's life has reached a crisis and
whose wholeness and well-being I feel moved to care about.

Sanford, I feel, has "earned" my caring through what he has seemed to
reveal --in his reports about his extra-marital relationship-- about
the nature of this crisis in his life. His "affair" with the
Argentine woman his "mistress," as the press puts it-does not seem to
be one of those casual or exploitative pursuits of lustful pleasures
that characterize the usual political sex scandals. The relationship
seems to have touched something deep and soulful in the man, to have
awakened something in his very core.

Although this discovery has apparently confused Sanford and, now, is
potentially bringing much of his "beautiful" former life power,
status, a perfect-looking family-down around him, it has also
apparently inspired him and transformed him in a way that seems to me
to bespeak that what he has contacted is infused with the sacred.

What will Sanford do with what he's discovered, and with the
possibilities for his life? What should he do? These are
some of the directions I would go if I were speaking to him as a friend.

A TRANFORMATIVE FIRE

It seems clear that, with the woman from Argentina, Sanford found
something that he does not have in his marriage, something that
probably he never had in his marriage. And that "something" he found is
no small thing. It is indeed, as I read and listen to Sanford's
words, a sacred thing.

That does not mean that, if I were to speak to Mark Sanford as a
friend, I would be prepared to say pursuing that relationship is the
best way for him to seek the Good. Marriage also is no small
thing. And in this case, Sanford has four sons in that marriage,
and their well-being should weigh significantly in his decisions.

But I would tell Sanford that he will only be able to decide wisely if
he understands in a full way what it is that he's discovered. For
not only is it (if my sense of his story is correct) something sacred
that can happen between a man and a woman. But beyond that, it is
potentially a key for understanding what's been wrong in his life
before.

And beyond that, in the issue that Sanford is now wrestling with, he
could also discover what's been wrong with the political and cultural
forces he's spent his life embedded in and working to advance.

In view of that last statement, it should not be surprising that I
would worry on behalf of my friend that the advice he's getting from
that cultural world will be of limited help, at best, and quite
possibly of harm to him. If he listens only to the advice he's
getting from his conservative Christian friends, I doubt that he'll
learn or grow from this experience into more of the full and whole
human being that I believe the human good is about.

CLUES POINTING TOWARD THE CORE OF THE ISSUE

Here are a couple of passages from one of the leaked emails Sanford
sent his lover. They help reveal what it is that has drawn
Sanford so powerfully toward her:

[Y]ou have my heart. You have oh so many attributes
that pulls it in this direction. Do you really comprehend how beautiful
your smile is? Have you been told lately how warm your eyes are and how
they softly glow with the special nature of your soul.... I could digress
and say that you have the ability to give magnificently gentle kisses,
or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curves of your hips,
the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of
yourself) in the faded glow of night's light...

And from another:

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Andrew Bard Schmookler's website www.nonesoblind.org is devoted to understanding the roots of America's present moral crisis and the means by which the urgent challenge of this dangerous moment can be met. Dr. (more...)

The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author
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