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Tag(s): Americans; California; Florida; HUMOR SATIRE; Humor; Media Washington Post; NASA; Other; Planet Mars; San Francisco Bay Area; (more...) Science; Scientists; Seattle; Sonoma; Sonoma County; Space-Aerospace; StoryTelling; World (less...)
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June 9, 2008 at 11:42:22

MARTIANS ATTACKING PHOENIX LANDER / EARTH NEXT

by Allen L Roland

www.opednews.com

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The NASA Phoenix Mars Lander has begun the process of preparing to land on Mars and search for water, life, etc..

Phoenix Lander on Mars

The NASA Phoenix Mars Lander is currently searching for the history of water on Mars, as well as any habitable areas, history of life, etc.

However, unanticipated problems have occurred ~ including dirt covering the instrument bay but something more sinister appears to be afoot.

Soil sample (Nasa)

Images clearly show soil samples covering the entrance to the oven before all communication went dead with the Phoenix lander.

Martian soil frustrates Phoenix

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7442233.stm

Scientists working on Nasa's Phoenix lander are trying to work out why soil samples dropped onto an instrument bay were not registered.

Images sent back from Mars clearly showing clumps of dirt lying across a screen protecting the opening to a tiny oven ~ but the big question is how did they get there ?

But it seems the soil may have been too lumpy to pass through into the Thermal and Evolved-Gas Analyzer ~ but it also appears as if they were thrown at the Phoenix Lander !

Scientists and engineers on the Phoenix mission team are now working through ideas on what to do next ~ but today stunning new developments are being reported by Leonard David, Senior Space Writer .

Mars Spherules

In a stunning press conference held today, NASA had promised to make a “significant” announcement regarding findings from the Phoenix Lander, and for once, NASA did not disappoint.

Details surrounding the announcement have been sketchy as sources remained tight-lipped, however most space enthusiasts assumed that scientists were about to reveal definitive proof of the existence of water on the surface of Mars.

At 2 p.m. EST today, a spokesperson for NASA, did indeed confirm the presence of water on Mars as most expected he would, however he also revealed the presence of life...something scientists and science fiction writers have been hoping to find for the past several decades.

Unfortunately, NASA also announced that the life they found was hostile, and had been provoked to take action against the Earth by the actions of the Phoenix Lander .

As previously announced, scientists had been puzzled by the spherical grains found in the soil on and below the surface of Mars, and in an in depth analysis, a sampling of the spherules, as they have come to be called, were sliced in two and photographed for later analysis.

What the scientists did not count on was that the very spherules which they had written off as strangely smooth and almost perfectly spherical rock, were actually the very life forms for which scientists had been searching all along.

In what has to be deemed the worst luck imaginable, it just happens that one of the 5 or 6 spherules which was cut in two was the leader and supreme ruler of all Martian life.

The inadvertent killing of their leader was viewed by the spherules as a sign of hostility, and the Phoenix Lander was immediately pelted by kamikaze swarms of spherules until it was reduced to a heap of scrap iron ~ which accounts for the clumps of dirt on the lander before all communication went dead !

The Martian spherules then apparently seized control of the Phoenix Lander, tapped into it’s computer archives, and discovered that the source of the death machine was none other than our home sweet home here on Earth.

According to NASA’s press conference, the spherules are headed our way by the quadrillions with the intent of pelting every living being on planet Earth into a “steaming pile of goo”.

When asked if there was any way to defend ourselves, NASA admitted that the sheer number and force of the spherules was too great for Earth to overcome, and we were all “screwed”. Armageddon is expected to arrive some time between 3 and 4 pm EST this Thursday, and should last no more than 25 minutes.

A creative spoof to lighten your day and bring a smile to a troubled world ~ originally from spoof.com with updated information from Allen L Roland

Allen L Roland

http://blogs.salon.com/0002255/2008/06/09.html

Freelance Alternative Press Online columnist and psychotherapist Allen L Roland is available for comments, interviews, speaking engagements and private consultations ( allen@allenroland.com )

Allen L Roland is a practicing psychotherapist, author and lecturer who also shares a daily political and social commentary on his weblog and website allenroland.com He also guest hosts a monthly national radio show TRUTHTALK on www.conscioustalk.net

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http://www.allenroland.com

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5 comments

CasaZaza Sound Ideas - Music - Digital Arts

Chaos In The New World Order

by CasaZaza
ebook pdf format

Essays on 9/11 truth and globalism. In January 2007 there was an awakening in my life. Having just discovered the truth about 9/11, an internal struggle had to be reconciled. How does a moral, rational individual deal with the harsh realities concerning our world, and what can they do to expose the truth and realize justice for the vi...

to see more of bio, click on member name
CasaZazaCasaZaza Sound Ideas - Music - Digital Arts

Chaos In The New World Order

by CasaZaza
ebook pdf format

Essays on 9/11 truth and globalism. In January 2007 there was an awakening in my life. Having just discovered the truth about 9/11, an internal struggle had to be reconciled. How does a moral, rational individual deal with the harsh realities concerning our world, and what can they do to expose the truth and realize justice for the vi...

to see more of bio, click on member name

Only one question

After we are overtaken by the new Spherule empire from Mars and forced to pledge allegiance to our new masters - I want to know this: the stuff I had before the conquest is still going to be my stuff after, right?

by CasaZaza (6 articles, 0 quicklinks, 2 diaries, 145 comments) on Monday, June 9, 2008 at 2:05:20 PM

Allen L Roland is a practicing psychotherapist, author and lecturer who also shares a daily political and social commentary on his weblog and website allenroland.com He also guest hosts a monthly national radio show TRUTHTALK on Conscious talk radio www.conscioustalk.net
Allen L RolandAllen L Roland is a practicing psychotherapist, author and lecturer who also shares a daily political and social commentary on his weblog and website allenroland.com He also guest hosts a monthly national radio show TRUTHTALK on Conscious talk radio www.conscioustalk.net

WHAT STUFF ?

What stuff, your going to be pulverized to goo ! ;-)

Allen L Roland

by Allen L Roland (873 articles, 7 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 345 comments) on Monday, June 9, 2008 at 2:44:51 PM

Kent State, Graduate work in philosophy of logic, of science, Ph.D. SIU neuroscientist, forensic neuropsychologist, PostDoc Medical College of Ohio, Preferred activities: Restoring British motorcycles, cars, Matchless, Austin Healey, Triumph, Jaguar, building an engine, programming a computer. Other stuff: SDS 1968, antiwar,911 truth advocate, anticorporatist, anti-classist, anti-neocon, pissed off. Best thing: Father. Blessed.
richardKent State, Graduate work in philosophy of logic, of science, Ph.D. SIU neuroscientist, forensic neuropsychologist, PostDoc Medical College of Ohio, Preferred activities: Restoring British motorcycles, cars, Matchless, Austin Healey, Triumph, Jaguar, building an engine, programming a computer. Other stuff: SDS 1968, antiwar,911 truth advocate, anticorporatist, anti-classist, anti-neocon, pissed off. Best thing: Father. Blessed.

Goo implies adding a liquid...

What, are they going to pee on us too?

(sorry, couldn't help myself.. it's the rum, you see. I guess they don't have to urinate on us... our blood will suffice for the goo...)

by richard (0 articles, 5 quicklinks, 1 diaries, 783 comments) on Monday, June 9, 2008 at 8:27:54 PM

French canadian
Sylvain PimpareFrench canadian

Traitor

What a traitor you are. You only try to make fun about people who have real proof of ETs life. One day people like you will be charge for High Treason and Crimes against Humanity and will see who's laughing.

by Sylvain Pimpare (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 24 comments) on Monday, June 9, 2008 at 10:38:08 PM