 |
Add to My Group
4
3
1
View Ratings |
Rate It
Jesus, the Joker, and Dead Guy Ashtray
By Allan Wayne (about the author) Page 1 of 3 page(s)
For OpEdNews: Allan Wayne - Writer As I drove up, Rob stood on the tavern deck,
with an armload of artifacts--driftwood, metal shards, and a buoy or two--that
he found on the beach, under the bridge where he lived with his dog, or rather,
Starz's dog. His bald head, brown from sun, rose above the railing. There was
no sign of her; not unusual; sometimes she would disappear for days, then show
up, thick blonde hair, with or without Rob.
"Beachcombing?" I turned the deadbolt.
The alarm beeped inside.
"Yeah"--Rob gave a wry grin and held something.
"Kinda looks like--" He left the words hanging, suspended by some
indisputable physical reality, with no need to state the obvious. Just look--He
smiled a missing tooth mystery.
"Jesus." I stated the obvious, and took
the emaciated, palm-size likeness of our crucified savior that Rob had
rescued from the Columbia River. It was a striking maritime manifestation, a
floating miracle and divine blessing, fraught with meandering meaning. Jesus
had returned from the dead in the form of...Ginger root?...Prickly pear?...or
some pockmarked Klickitat tuber washed downstream from radioactive Hanford...I
could not tell. Technically, I figured Jesus lived in a heavenly paradise, and
might just be visiting, not literally returning from the dead; but if you think
about it, people in heaven, at least from an earthly perspective, are
clinically dead. Why would Jesus pick a homeless guy from my tavern?
I noticed Rob held a driftwood stick and piece of
rusted beam. "How's Rover?" I could see Starz's mutt in the back of
his black SUV. A previous metal worker and property manager, Rob lived on his
thousand dollar Social Security check, and once owned a bar, himself, before he
went belly up. His scavenged gifts were a way of payback for free coffee I
provided. After spending last winter in his car, he was trying to find an
affordable apartment.
"Fine. Dog had his swim. You seen
Starz?"
"A couple days ago," I said "With
some guy. She won a few bucks on the poker machine."
He nodded.
Exactly how Rob ended up with Starz's dog, I don't
know. A soft touch, I suppose, when she became homeless. They were an unlikely
and itinerant odd couple. When Rob did not show, she would harangue him with
cell phone calls..."Rob!" she would rail..."Get off your ass,
and get over here!"
"What's he doing?" I brought out sugar
and cream.
"Nothing!" she snarled with a force that
belied her slight frame. "He's a worthless petty punk! Sits on the beach
all day! Not doing one thing to improve his life!"
I nodded. Pretty soon, I knew Starz would ask to
borrow three bucks...or seven...and if she won on the poker machine, would
offer to pay back maybe ten dollars on the forty-five she already owed me. Her
debts ambled along like a stiff on life support...a little up, a little
down...and eventually she would pay, and start the whole cycle over. As a bar
owner, I have to admit, the presence of her fit body offered some compensation,
even if she qualified more as an attractive nuisance than a star attraction.
Our neighborhood falls on the south side of the
street, just off the strip joint fringe, where 747's pass before they hit the
tarmac, a broken corral of Hispanics, blacks, Koreans, and Caucasian cowboys. I
never asked Starz exactly what she did for a living, but after a while, like
they all do, she told me. It was during an NBA game on TV. A familiar Hollywood
actor was preening in front of the bench. "That guy never misses," I
said. "A game, that is."
Over a glucose-saturated cup of mud, she blinked
once. "Game, my ass," she said with no expression. "I met him once."
The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author
and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
 Contact Author |
Contact Editor |
 View Authors' Articles |
by Sylvia L. Mignon
$32.50
Lowest New Price $24.38
Number of pages: 363
Publisher: Lynne Rienner Publishers
by Ira Brant Sommers
$89.95
Number of pages: 80
Publisher: Edwin Mellen Press
by Thomas Furman Hewitt
$7.00
Number of pages: 46
Publisher: Pastoral Care Council on Alcohol and Drug Abuse, North Carolina Dept. of Human Resources
by Anne M. Libby
$5.95
Number of pages: 30
Publisher: Alcohol Research Documentation, Inc.
| 15 comments |
Want to post your own comment on this Article? 
|
||||
|
||||||||||||||
Must Read (0) 
News (0) 
Touching (0) 
Funny (0) 
Inspiring (0) 
Valuable (1) Tell a Friend:
|
Copyright © 2002-2009, OpEdNews |
