And it wasn’t weapons of math instruction but mass destruction and he knew that Saddam fellow had some because his Daddy who had been president before that smart Rhodes Scholar president had given him some to shoot at them Iranian guys who had been fighting for years and loosing millions of troops to each other kind of canceling each others threat to the rest of the region out.
Well now the rest of the world is saying hey Mr. President, we got this Saddam fellow all bottled up with you blowing up all his air planes and tanks and such and with that no fly zone thing they can’t really be much of a threat, and furthermore those smart guys from the U.N. have been looking for those mass destruction things for a few years and can’t find nary a one, but Mr. President keeps getting advice from that chubby mad looking fellow I think who’s nick name is Tator you know Dick “Tator” Cheney.
Even Mr. Presidents generals say hey wait a minute we ain’t even got that tall fellow over in Afghanistan yet and we ain’t got enough troops to occupy that Saddam fellow’s country. Well sure enough that banker fellow who advised the president said what does that smart alleck general know about warfare, when we get that Saddam fellow all those Iraqi boys and girls will shower us with flowers for getting that bad ole Saddam guy.
Mr. President goes up to all them lawbreakers up on the Capital and says, let me take that SOB with all them WMD’s my daddy gave him down so America will be safe, cause that Saddam fellow was in bed with that tall guy we can’t find in Afghanistan.
I don’t know why but all them guys in the CIA kind of know that the President is making up a lot of stuff that ain’t quite true, but they don’t say nothing except for that Mr. Wilson and his pretty wife, who we found out from that guy that worked for Dick “Tator” Cheney, was a spy.
I don’t know about you, but I think that we shouldn’t tell everybody who our spies are, cause nobody will trust them anymore, and I think it’s against the law and turns out it was and so Tatars buddy Scooter was supposed to go to jail but that not so bright affable Mr. President said he had suffered enough so he let him go.
Now back to that Saddam fellow, Mr. President starts to bomb, then he invades Iraq and every thing went so well Mr. President got to land on an airplane on that big ole boat and with that big budge in his flight suit all puffed up declared the mission was accomplished.
Well it turns out that he didn’t tell those Iraqi fellows. It seems them Sunni’s fellows and them Shiite’s just don’t see eye to eye and would rather shoot each other than spit. So instead of showering our troops with flowers they start taking all them bombs that they had left over and nobody secured and get real mad.
Then they start to take TV remotes and cell phones and make up these remote controlled bombs from all them artillery shells and every time a U.S. Hummer comes by they change the channel and blow up our soldier boys and girls. Then them al Qaedians start to wear those funny vests that blow up and go into where all the Muslims go to church and start to blowing up all those old church’s.
All them Sunni and Shiite people get so mad at each other that they start to kick each other out of their neighborhoods, and they aren’t being so civil about and they go to warring on each other and our soldier boys and girls are smack in the middle of it.
Ok it’s election time again and it turns out that not so smart fellow is not so affable anymore because everyone is getting pretty mad at him for not really having accomplished any of the mission he started to accomplish. In fact every time he comes on TV he’s changing the mission. I guess if I was a general I’d be pretty confused now.
So they go campaigning and running against this tall war hero guy and I say to myself well the public can’t be dumb enough to vote for that not so smart fellow and his mad fat buddy Tatar. It turns out that they got whole lots of ads claiming that war hero was a fake. Not one of them who claimed it ever got into a fight along side him but it didn’t seem to make any difference. It seems if you put a big lie on TV and that Rush O’Reilly, and that Glenn Coultergeist says so everyone starts to believe it.
I believe that a lot of people where fooled by all that TV talk and they say that the not so smart fellow won the election again. Then he starts color coding the terror and seem like every time them lawbreakers in Washington go to voting on something that takes away some rights that color code seems to light up real high.
Right in the middle of this war and terror stuff here came Katrina and it sinks the city of New Orleans. Now all these people are living in the football stadium and Mr. President is on Vacation, but not to fear the Presidents good buddy Brownie is in charge of disaster relief. Mr. President came on the TV while all these people didn’t even have nothing to drink and he told Brownie your doing a hell of a job. I bet all them folks in New Orleans thought it was just hell and not a hell of a job. It turns out Brownie had been working for some horse show association and had got the job because Mr. Presidents 2000 campaign manager knew Brownie.
Things just keep getting worse and worse in Iraq and Mr. President decides to change the mission again and says when them Iraqi’s stand up we will stand down. The Iraqi’s start standing up and raising all kinds of hell shooting and bombing the hell out of Baghdad.
Then we have another election. Too bad we can’t vote for president yet but everyone is so mad at Mr. President that they send a bunch of his lawbreaker friends from Washington packing. This leaves the Democrats in charge and the first thing that that pretty new speaker does is tell the president he don’t have to worry about his job and he can keep on breaking the law and making new laws that take away out rights.