Calvin Coolidge, a visionary president who recognized the necessity of laissez-faire economic policies, knew what America was about. It is time we got back to our roots by removing quaint ethical, legal, and moral constraints on businesses. American society reached the peak of its evolution during the Gilded Age. Let's reclaim that glory.
Corporations and business magnates have been hamstrung by archaic laws long enough. Let's truly free the free market. Unshackle the movers and shakers of our capitalist economy and the American Empire will blow the doors off the rest of the world. We are only consuming 25% of the world's resources now. America needs to buckle down and significantly increase its share of the world's bounty. Since the other 97% of the world's population is comprised of terrorists, savages, Socialists, non-Christians, and non-Caucasians, they need to yield to the moral imperative of the Christian God and further enrich the American Empire.
Minimum wages, Child Labor Laws, mandatory extra pay for so-called "overtime", legislation prohibiting discriminatory hiring practices and sexual harassment, and ridiculous protections for the disabled need to go. Our children have too much free time on their hands; idle hands do the work of the devil. Blacks and other minorities need to buck up and deal with it if Whites feel uncomfortable hiring them. Women need to develop a thicker skin and realize that sometimes keeping their job requires a little "extra effort". If someone is blind or wheelchair-bound, we have no obligation to accommodate their weaknesses.
End the Gravy Train
Entitlements are a waste of our precious resources. Medicare, Medicaid, WIC, food stamps and the rest of those nauseating Socialistic programs must go. If someone doesn't have money, it is time they got a job. Those of us who work and pay taxes owe the lazy and weak nothing. Can't find a job or the money you need for basic necessities? Tough. If God had intended for you to survive, he would have given you the attributes and resources to do so.
Shedding our puerile concerns for the plight of the poor, the elderly, and the disabled will enable us to focus more of our resources where they belong. The $600 billion a year we spend on defense represents a mere 60% of world military expenditures. What self-respecting imperial entity would settle for such a miniscule piece of the pie? Exempting the military, the Department of Homeland Security, and the other offices of the Executive Branch necessary to rule the Empire, it is time to follow Grover Norquist's brilliant advice and start running the bath water.
Like the one in Jericho, this wall must come down...
A crucial aspect the American Empire lacks is the marriage of church and state. A tyrannical Bush Regime wedded with the powerful elements of the Religious Right and Dominionists would empower the "iron men" to rid our society of harlots and sinners like Hester Prynne.
We are a Christian nation. Muslims, Hindus, Wiccans and other followers of unenlightened religions need to convert or face harsh consequences, including crucifixion, stoning, or if we are feeling lenient, simple expulsion from our nation. Homosexuality, prostitution, abortion, and atheism will be punishable by death. Blasphemy will result in surgical removal of the tongue. Adultery will be grounds for severe torture involving the genitals. Women and children will again subjugate themselves to the masters of our nation, their husbands and fathers.
Religion will return to the public square. Those who refuse to say Merry Christmas will be flogged until they lose consciousness. Prayer will be mandatory at all public events and non-participants will receive severe beatings. Failure to attend church on a consistent basis will result in assignment to re-education centers. A government entity analogous to the IRS will oversee the collection of mandatory tithes. Those caught cheating the Church will have their hands severed. A Ministry of Decency will monitor all forms of media and stage mass public bonfires to eliminate profane, pornographic, and blasphemous materials.
The Church of the Empire will be jointly administered by members of the Bush Regime and such Christian luminaries as Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, James Dobson, and Tim LaHaye. To prevent the Empire's bounty from going to waste in a heavily tithed society with Puritanical laws, the segments of the populace comprising the ruling elite (including the Church leadership) will be exempt from their own edicts. "Do as I say and not as I do" will be the order of the day.
It is time for the "Culture of Life" to prevail in the United States.
Whoring girls and women who become pregnant out of wedlock deserve to be butchered at the hands of back-alley abortionists. And as for the abandoned or abused children arising from unwanted pregnancies, they will provide a ready supply of cheap labor once we eliminate those hopelessly idealistic Child Labor Laws.
Perpetual war to expand our sphere of influence is the only way to ensure American dominance over the rest of the world. To hell with concern for the murder of innocent civilians. Those individuals are merely "collateral damage" for which we cannot be held responsible. They just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Better luck next time. Besides, when we murder, we are morally and legally justified because our terrorism is committed in uniform and for the cause of "freedom". Hopefully Hamas will not discover our secret and start putting uniforms on their freedom fighters.
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