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Prickly Problem Perplexes Perfidious Progressive Pundits

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Remember, after the 2004 election was concluded, when President Bush noted in retrospect that the election (rigged?) had been a referendum on the Iran and Afghanistan Wars? Well, (personal opinion alert!) while the Democrats are distracted and divided over the idea that President Obama is functioning as a Judas goat to get Democrats onboard for the war in Afghanistan, waterboarding, and giving the Bush Administration a "get out of jail" card for any pesky possible war crimes trials, the hidden agenda, which will again be announced in retrospect, is that the Republicans consider this fall election to be a referendum on the fate of the Social Security program.

Uh-oh. Should we have put a spoiler warning at the beginning of this column? Obviously Karl Rove won't buy me a steak at the nearest Ruth's Chris Steak House Restaurant, the next time he sees me. Isn't it my turn to buy?

Recently we dashed (Shout out to my old grade school classmate Joey B.!) off a column about how the word "Kriegschmerz" applies in relation to the recent spate of media stories about the bleak prospects regarding the Afghanistan war.

If Robert Gibbs wants unquestioning allegiance for the President's war policies and if such a column doesn't sit well with the regular readers of a progressive website, what kind of column should be written?

It's damn well obvious that the Republican/conservative pundits aren't asking themselves that question this summer. Nice going Mr. Gibbs. You just handed the Republicans a great early Christmas present.

What does this columnist want the readers to think? The World's Laziest Journalist would like readers to think that independent minded pundits are going to give Mr. Gibbs a world of hurt in the coming weeks and that if Obama is half as smart as people are supposed to think he is; then perhaps he agreed to a Foust style bargain where he would deliver the Democrats into the hands of the military-industrial complex in return for a political achievement that seemed impossible for an person of African-American heritage, just a few short years ago.

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In closing, if Robert Gibbs thinks that criticizing President Obama is crazy, we'd love to get his take on this bit of speculation: Does some large military organization have the ability to control the weather and are they using it to hand Pakistan's ruling junta the "paybacks are hell" lesson?

Unless . . .

This columnist is willing to write adoring epics of enthusiastic support for war criminals (incuding Barry) if the paycheck is generous. If Mr. Gibbs wants me to be a paid pundit; we can (upon receipt of the first check) become a Paladin armed with prolific amounts of prose, as it were. "Have Laptop, will travel" Wire this Paladin (AKA World's Laziest Journalist) at Yahoo. Otherwise, we will cling to the last vestiges of our integrity and personify the concept of a prolific pundit trying to purvey the beatnik philosophy that maintains a war crime is a war crime is a war crime no matter if it's a Republican or Democrat serving as war-criminal-in-chief.

One of this columnist's favorite quotes of all time comes from the "Treasure of the Sierra Madre" sound track. Howard (John Huston), the old prospector, says to his young partner: "Laugh, Curtin, old boy. It's a great joke played on us by the Lord, or fate, or nature, whatever you prefer. But whoever or whatever played it certainly had a sense of humor! Ha! The gold has gone back to where we found it! This is worth ten months of suffering and labor - this joke is."

Now, if the disk jockey and the columnist were being banished (again?) to a desert island, the top three albums picked to go with us would be: The Rollings Stones "Hot Rocks" album, the Creedence Clearwater Revival double record Best of album and "The All-Time Greatest Hits of Roy Orbison." We gotta say "Shakin' it up over here, boss." Mr. Gibbs, have a "sell crazy someplace else" type week.

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BP graduated from college in the mid sixties (at the bottom of the class?) He told his draft board that Vietnam could be won without his participation. He is still appologizing for that mistake. He received his fist photo lesson from a future (more...)

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