Best train wreck: The Sarah Palin-Katie Couric interview, which featured one laughable gaffe after the next, including Palin's failure to think of any Supreme Court decisions other than Roe v. Wade; her failure to name a single newspaper or magazine she reads other than "all of 'em, any of 'em"; and her claim to foreign policy expertise because Vladimir Putin likes to rear his head and fly over Alaskan airspace. It teetered on such self-parody that all Tina Fey had to do on Saturday Night Live was repeat parts of Palin's answers verbatim, gosh darnit, and also there too, you betcha!
Worst campaign surrogate: Bill Clinton, who had to be muzzled during the Democratic primaries after playing the race card and the patriot card against Obama, growling and snapping at reporters, and saying unfortunate things like, "The country is groaning and moaning and screaming for change." As Jay Leno joked, like a lot of women in Washington, Hillary soon realized she had slept with Bill Clinton for nothing.
Cheapest campaign stunt: John McCain, who "suspended" his campaign to go save the economy, said the presidential debate had to be canceled, flew to Washington, screwed up the bailout deal, then un-suspended his campaign and flew to the debate, even though there was no deal. "Usually when a 72-year-old man acts this way, this is when the kids start calling nursing homes," quipped Bill Maher.
Best smackdown following a cheap campaign stunt: When McCain told Letterman he was canceling his appearance on the show because he had to fly to Washington, and then showed up instead for an interview with Katie Couric, Letterman mocked him mercilessly. "Hey John!" Letterman shouted as he aired the live CBS feed of the interview for his audience. "I've got a question: You need a lift to the airport?" It got even uglier for McCain, with Letterman saying: "This is not the way a tested hero behaves. Somebody's putting something in his Metamucil."
Least likely to prevail at a sanity hearing: Obama's former pastor, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, who burned up YouTube with his fiery rants imploring God to damn America for perpetrating genocide against chickens that came home to roost on 9/11 (or something like that). Despite being widely disparaged as a crackpot, Wright said he received over a million emails and phone calls telling him to keep on speaking out -- "all of them from Hillary Clinton," joked Jay Leno.
Creepiest Palin crush: Rich Lowry, National Review editor, who reacted to Palin's performance in the vice presidential debate thusly: "I'm sure I'm not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, 'Hey, I think she just winked at me.' And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America." Which left everyone wondering the same thing: When did National Review turn into Penthouse Forum?
Creepiest Obama crush: Chris Matthews of MSNBC, who said that while listening to Obama speak, "I felt this thrill going up my leg."
Best evidence that the next four years may not be a total disaster for political comedy: While on the campaign trail, Joe Biden referred to his running mate as "Barack America"; implored a wheelchair-bound politician to "stand up"; recalled how Franklin Roosevelt addressed the nation on TV when the stock market crashed in 1929 (even though F.D.R. wasn't president and few had even heard of TV at the time); and said Hillary Clinton would have made a better V.P. pick because she was more qualified than him. Thanks to Biden, comedians appear to be getting a stimulus package, too.
Best epitaph on the Bush years: In his parting words at his final G-8 Summit, President Bush ended a private meeting with world leaders by saying, "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." According to press reports, he then punched the air and grinned widely as the rest of those present looked on in shock. Who said he never had an exit strategy?
This piece originally appeared in the New York Times' Laugh Lines blog.
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