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Tiger at 18
Tiger Woods
Is Tiger Woods on steroids? As Bob Murphy said, "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."
One month ago Tiger Woods gave his last televised interview to Murray Deaker. Murray Deaker asked Tiger Woods, "Tiger, family first, golf second; always been like that?" Tiger answered earnestly, "Always." Days later Tiger's mistresses were echoing each other: "Tiger said that his marriage was a sham, a publicity stunt to project his clean cut endorsers' dream billion dollar image."
Psychiatrist M. Scott Peck wrote the modern Bible, "People of the Lie." Barack Obama just returned from the Copenhagen Climate Conference. Copenhagen was named after the Great Dane, Sir Walter Hagen. President Obama called the Copenhagen Climate Conference "an unprecedented breakthrough."
An unprecedented breakthrough would be that the countries of the world had banded together to ban cars forever. Human beings lived without cars for 5 million years until Karl Benz invented them a hundred years ago. Today we are 6 billion car junkies waging wars in the Middle East over oil like crack junkies breaking into drug stores in the middle of the night. We are Jonesing for oil for our syringes.
As the ArcticSea and our Mountain Glaciers melt and Earth's fresh water supply disappears, fresh clean water has become our most precious resource. You cannot drink gold. You strain at gnats yet you swallow gold bars whole. Our politicans pat each other on the back and mug for the cameras as they suck the oil from the Alberta Tar Sands and turn the great lakes into battery acid.
We know that Tiger Woods is on alcohol, vicodin, and ambien. Is Tiger Woods on steroids too? Look at the pictures above of 19 year old Tiger Woods' arms winning the U.S. Amateur and Tiger Woods today. Other recent U.S Amateur winners include Byeong Hun An, Danny Lee, Colt Knost, Richie Ramsay, Edorado Molinari and Ryan Moore. Golf has built its reputation on honesty, integrity and vanceishness.
John Steigerwald writes in today's Washington, PA, Observer Reporter, "When I see an athlete who looks bigger and stronger than every other athlete in his sport, and who does super-human things never before seen in his sport and his name is linked to a doctor who is linked to performance enhancing drugs, I'm going with guilty until proven innocent." What is the difference between a Tiger and a Cheetah? Cheetahs are better at stealing second.
President Ahmadinejad told a cheering rally in Tehran this week that Iran had documented evidence that the United States was conspiring to prevent the return of the Hidden Imam. The mayor of Warsaw said, "Take my sign, please." Moscow has destroyed the trillion dollar Pentagon Drone Program with a $26 software program now available free to every terrorist on download dot com. Children in Afghanistan are flying our drones into the Red, White and Blue Zone.
The book of Revelations was written in Greek a hundred years after Jesus Christ died. In this ancient Greek blog, Jesus comes flying down from Heaven on his flying horse to defeat the snake, goat, lion Beast, Devil. In the Greek myth, written by the grandparents of the Greek bible bloggers, Prince Bellerophon rides on his flying horse Pegasus and defeats the snake, goat, lion Chimera. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. In the week before Christmas we learn that Barack Obama, Tiger Woods and Santa Claus are all fakes.
To fake means to make something seem real by lying about it. The landowner decided to hold a banquet for his son's wedding. The problem was that drought had ravaged the land and the estate was bankrupt. The servants said, "Sire, how can we prepare a feast without funds?" The landowner said, "Prepare burgers of baked dirt." The servants replied, "Sire, what shall we do when the guests begin to choke and rail?" The landowner replied, "Declare Martial Law on the 19th."
