::::::::
I picked this particular boy at random from the columnists listed on the Drudge Report, which I confess is my ear to the rest of the world, since Mr. Drudge does manage to provide a high turnover of news topics from many diverse sources (however absurd some of them may be). I present this columnist's words with a link to his very own weekly column-encouraging you to read and view it as comic relief, lest you put your fist through your computer screen-and I follow up with my own observations on the anatomy of this fellow's brain, or at least the thoughts therein.Article for examination, contemplation, and comic relief: Thoughts from a conservative brain
After contemplating the above article over the course of a few days, my first conclusion was that Mr. L. Brent Bozell III could have said what he thinks in a more concise manner, saving us all valuable time. Here is how he could have tightened things up:
There's no need to comment on the sorry state of the world. The world is ok as is. We should keep fighting our misbegotten war flushing countless lives and dollars into a bloody cesspool of human suffering and misery. Hippies were bad or somehow misguided, along with other idealists. We don't have to fight for fundamental human rights. We should worry greatly about immigrants, in this nation of immigrants and murderers of Native Americans. We should be homophobic, like him. We, or he personally, will tell females how to deal with their bodies. Oil does not drive government policy. The environment is in good shape. Law free zones are ok. We should sustain our assault on women's reproductive rights. We should have a public policy based on religious fundamentalism. Gas prices would never be tied to presidential elections. It's not ok to cry over the decline of America. It is wrong to want to increase your income. Chris Wallace is a good guy. There may be new proof that the Bush National Guard story is false. Emotions are bad things. He does not like blacks. It's not ok to name babies after someone. He favors segregation, opposes integration. Global warming is not a problem. Cubans don't have high literacy rates, a free educational system and top-notch doctors. We are freer than Cubans, in spite of a Patriot Act that eviscerated our Bill of Rights and a president who views the Constitution as a "goddamn piece of paper."
I imagine there's more that could be deduced with a little more time, but this is enough to get us in the ballpark of how a conservative brain works, assuming the words "brain" and "work" are not too strong.
Applying logic from Aristotle 101, it is hard not to conclude that L. Brent Bozell III is: a) a complete imbecile; b) being paid big bucks by Bush or someone near him; c) a grand bigot; d) fearful of his own homosexual longings; e) a fascist wishing for a Bush dictatorship, in which he would feel very comfortable; f) a pathological liar; g) one sick bastard; or, h) all the above.
However, I have to wonder on another level, what is it that makes this guy think the way he does? Maybe I'm wrong, but here is all I can come up with:
He clings to the status quo with a death grip; fear of the unknown drives him to the center of his miniscule comfort zone, never daring to even contemplate the edges of that zone; he believes that what has worked in the past will work in the future, and thus concludes that the world and society need no adjustments; he accepts without question everything he has ever been told about the goodness of America; he is afraid to question or rely on his own power of thought, and doesn't trust the brain he was born with; he sees a large world of "them" out there threatening him-females, gays, hippies, liberals, "illegals," Democrats, blacks, Castro, even Keith Olberman; he is afraid of many things and many people-particularly anyone who isn't a white conservative American male, presumably upper class; he is anti-science, anti-progress, anti-thought; he does not comprehend critical issues relevant to life on earth, or if he does, does not consider them worth mentioning; he obtains his values and outlook from people outside himself. He can't speak what he really thinks, but must disguise his thoughts through an anemic attempt at destroying others; he has not one idea of his own which he can pass on as a suggestion to better the human race. He is a very scared little boy worried about pleasing his parents, or some other authority figure (possibly a priest since he likes the idea of a Catholic community).
I realize I might be overreaching, but if I had to choose a single adjective to describe L. Brent Bozell III, that word would be "pathetic." If all humans "thought" like this individual, the human race would still be living in caves, if it hadn't already wiped itself out, with one tribe killing off another.
So what, really, does L. Brent Bozell III stand for?
Rather than waste more time trying to answer that question, I am posting what I've already written here, and sending a link to LBB3 himself. I challenge him to present a graduation speech that he would be happy with, and thereby stop trying to raise his own status by criticizing others. In fact, I extend an invitation to any one or all of his "58 judges," to take off their reading glasses, put on their thinking caps, and offer us their own version of a good commencement address.
I will gladly post any response that might come back, so that you can observe firsthand what the "good world of conservatism" ought to look like. I know we may have seen enough of that over the past six years, but what the heck-let's be fair and open minded and give this boy a chance to give us "the rest of his story."
Looking forward to hearing from you, Brent.
Sincerely,
Daniel Geery
