Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 1 Share on Twitter Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
OpEdNews Op Eds   

Why Can’t Bubba Vote Democrat?

Why Can’t Bubba Vote Democrat?

by Allen Snyder


‘Bubba’, you may recall, is the generic name for the guy Democratic presidential contender Howard Dean appealed to; the blue-collar white guy with the pick-up, Confederate Flag (if he’s a Southerner – the North has its Bubbas, too), gun rack, spit cup, NASCAR ball cap, ‘I Pledge to One Nation Under God’ bumper sticker, and big chip on his shoulder.

It’s false that people who like NASCAR, Confederate flags, and guns are Bubbas and, being a professional critical thinker, I see the gross overgeneralization involved in saying so. Instead, we’ll say ‘not all NASCAR lovin’ gun toters are Bubbas, but all Bubbas are NASCAR lovin’ gun toters’. It’s the same reasoning used in ‘not all conservatives are stupid people, but all stupid people are conservatives’ (could this be more true?).

There are rich Bubbas and poor Bubbas. Over the last few decades, poor Bubbas have dissed Democrats and elected Republican ‘regular guys’ to our highest elected offices. Now, the GOP carries Southern states routinely and the political pendulum there has swung way to the right.

At least rich Bubbas have an excuse for voting Republican. They have lotsa money and Republicans love helping rich people get richer, especially if they can get poor Bubbas and their yet-to-be-born children to foot the humungous bill, thank ‘em for it, and ask for more.

But what’s Poor Bubba’s excuse? He doesn’t have a pot to piss in. He’s living paycheck to paycheck and up to his eyeballs in debt. Meanwhile, GOP hucksters ram through labor, middle, and lower-class unfriendly legislation that screws him over both economically and politically. Rather than punishing them, poor Bubbas from Savannah to El Paso to Knoxville line up every election to vote for more Republicans.

What’s happened here? It’s trivial to say there’s one and only one cause for Bubba’s changing attitudes, but the reasons aren’t as complicated as you’d think. What attracts Bubba to the GOP is their not-so-closet intolerance, pumping testosterone, and defiant machismo.

You see, Bubba don’t like too many people. He’s got a ‘problem’ with Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, Cubans, Asians, Europeans (especially the French), the camel jockeys, towel-heads, fags, Jews, Catholics, atheists, tree-huggers, liberals, commies, and the ACLU. But what he really hates is blacks and women, especially those with power. All Bubbas are dangerously narrow-minded and are either racists, sexists, or homophobes, a combination of these, or in extreme, but not entirely rare instances, a heady mix of all of them (think Senator Santorum – Yikes!).

Bubba tends to like other Confederate flag waving God-fearing Protestants, have a ‘nuke ‘em all to hell’ mentality, trust the government without question (unless it’s full of Goddamn bleedin’ heart liberal Democrats), hate dissenters, like his womenfolk figuratively barefoot/pregnant and literally submissive, and his blacks in their place.

He lives vicariously through military action, a testosterone-fest if ever there was one, imaginarily killing and maiming his way to world dominance.

Pacifists are pussies, the ends justify the means, if you want something – take it, and the USA is #1!

Bubba idolizes Rush and O’Reilly, and thinks Ann Coulter often ‘makes some good points’. They get it. They know him, are him, and feel his pain (they say). They fan his anger and frustration, directing it toward the evil liberals, peaceniks, and Democrats responsible for this national cultural nightmare. They willingly enable his various ‘isms’, phobias, and fears.

Bubba’s afraid he’s lost control, lost power, become a minority in his own country. He’s the victim of an evil liberal plot to de-white the country.

Everybody wants to take him down, make him pay, and the only ones who care are Republicans. ‘It’s OK to hate women, fags, and blacks’, the GOP happily says, ‘we don’t like ‘em, either – and we run the government!’

Democrats, on the other hand, are the party of Civil Rights, blacks, gays, feminism, the environment, international cooperation, and world peace – all things Bubba thinks the world would be better without. Bubba wants and needs the security of being in charge, being top dog, and BushCo’s GOP-sponsored plan for world domination through oppressive fear, bullying intimidation, and manly war neatly fits the bill.

What’s a Democrat to do? As bleak as things seem, you’d think Bubbas were forever lost to the hatemongers on the GOP right. They’re not.

Democrats have to stick to the issues; they can’t let themselves get too tangled up in taking sides in the ‘cultural war’ questions of the day. They can’t get any real mileage out of affirmative action, the pledge of allegiance, and gay marriage, ‘cause the right sings Bubba’s tune on those issues.

But what Bubba doesn’t know is how much he’s been lied to about things he actually cares about – war and the economy. Bubba’s dying in Iraq and being sucked dry at home. The left needs to do more than simply confront Bubba with BushCo’s destructive policies and their hideous consequences. They need to show Bubba how badly BushCo lies about everything and do so unceasingly.

‘Cause if there’s one thing Bubba hates more than being out of beer on game day, it’s being made a fool of.

Allen Snyder is an instructor of Philosophy and Ethics.  He can be reached at This article is copyright by Allen Snyder and  originally published by but permission is granted for reprint in print, email, blog, or web media so long as this credit is attached.



- Advertisement -

Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines