A Cure has been found for the Republican Disease.

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Science finds the seat of prevarication and trepidation.

(To the reader:
I respectfully request that the information I am about to reveal be concealed from my mother-in-law. The therapeutic value of these procedures would be inordinately compromised by such revelation.)

Sometimes my mother-in-law doesn't feel good, and it can persist for days. Usually she says she's in pain. So eventually, we pack her up and go to the ER. The doctor asks, “Where does it hurt?” and many other questions, and performs several diagnostic tests, but the malady remains stubbornly unspecified. She almost seems to be channeling the pharmaceutical companies that invent new ailments in order to sell new drugs.
So finally my wife, who has witnessed this behavior for lo, these many years, takes the doctor aside and they whisper among themselves and Eureka!-- a diagnosis is made. My wife's theory is, when Ma creates a new disease, the best thing is simply to invent a new cure. Following the conference, the doc gives Ma an injection of water (probably saline, but what do I know?) Ma perks right up, says she feels better almost immediately and we can all go home.

The reason I'm telling this story is the current controversy over the President's policies. From health care to Afghanistan, new depths of hate and fear are emitting from some of the body public. But, finally, science has begun to penetrate the mystery of these emotions and the substance of the ignorance exhibited thereby.

MRI scans have revealed lobes on the amygdala which, responding to experimental injections of stem cells, appear to modify symptoms of hate and fear. These new regions have been designated the prevaricon and the trepidigma.
The prevaricon appears to function as a sort of medieval shield whose major function appears to be the concealment of blank areas awaiting information. Within the prevaricon, neurons possess that same unopened look as infant brains or new CD's. Yet, ironically, the prevaricon stimulates enormous expenditures of energy in order to protect itself from discovery.
Shouting, threats, sign-waving, and general belligerence have been observed when the prevaricon was stimulated by the threat of either new information or the revelation of the depths of ignorance, some of which appear to penetrate back to the Jurassic.

Computerized Axial Tomography, or CAT scans have shown activity in the trepidigma roughly parallel with stimulation of the prevaricon. When activity peaks in the trepidigma, it is invariably in the presence of correspondent threats to the prevaricon, and vice-versa.

Parallel investigations have shown some correlation to the so-called Cheney Disease, which has enhanced forever the scope of the term “vice” referent to government office. In historical fact, some practitioners have begun to employ the term as “vise” in respect of the tools of their respective trades. It is unnecessary to observe that Vice President and Vise President do not conflict in meanings with respect to recent events, but we try to be comprehensive.

On Feb. 31, 2009, experimental trials of one thousand volunteers were concluded that show a cure is now possible for the epidemic spread of these symptoms. When the subject organs were injected with stem cells from human donors with Native American and African ancestry, the symptoms disappeared.
Whether the test subjects were simply inbred or had been affected by exposure to lead compounds in gasoline remains to be ascertained.

However, from the evidence presented by these trials, it can be positively stated that the test subjects, all of whom were registered Republican voters, are examples of an evolutionary dead end, extant at the pinpoint end of viability, and so overcome by their exposure to these symptoms as to be untreatable by any other prophylactic measure.

Parenthetically, prophylactics were indicated in the presence of the threat of further procreation. This vestigial tail of human evolution has no clear future or use and has been designated by the World Healthiness Organization as, in the absence of therapeutic measures, nearing total extinction.

Authors Bio:
Avid reader, jazz musician, philosopher, chef, stone mason, carpenter, writer, painter, poet,humanist, teacher, holistic ethicist who believes consciousness and love pervade the universe, except among self-obsessed humans. I perceive the philosophical unified field to be consciousness and joy. The entire universe is composed of waves, which we surf by understanding. Worked and marched for CORE in the 60's. Built 100-ft., 80-ton sculpture on Pratt Beach, Chicago. Planted trees in Oregon. Solo canoed Illinois, Mississippi, Chicago, Rock, Missouri and Wisconsin Rivers. My big thrill as a kid was building small rockets, archery, cruising my woods and going to the Birdhouse on weekends to see the Miles Davis Quintet and many other Jazz Greats.
I was in San Francisco in '65, '66, '67, and '68. Built Burr Tillstrom's puppet theater for Kukla, Fran, and Ollie at WTTW, Channel 11, Chicago. Briefly taught stage carpentry at De Paul Univ. Technical Director one season at Oak Park Shakespeare Festival.
Played trumpet in many small jazz bands, Sextessence, Nova Express. Played on road tour with rock band and many union and studio gigs. Lived with the Rasta in Blue Mountains, Jamaica.
Drove millions of accident-free miles Over the Road in big trucks, 48 states and Canada.
Currently living alone, caring for four rescued animals, one of which a kitten I recently found 'helpless as a kitten up a tree', abandoned in a city park. He came down to my call, so we folded him into the family. Without someone to care for life makes little sense. All reason is born of the heart. As Maya Angelou wrote, "Love holds the stars in their courses."