August 5, 2009
By Eugene Elander
An imaginary conversation between former President Bill Clinton and North Korean leader Kim Jong-il, through a creative interpreter, leading to the release of reporters Ling and Lee.
::::::::
The inside story of the release of American Reporters Ling and Lee from a North Korean prison;
it's all a matter of interpretation --
Former President Bill Clinton:
Hello, you little weasel. Long time, no
  see. You look like something the cat dragged in.
Interpreter:
President Clinton greets our glorious, exalted leader and
  comments on your good health and excellent appearance.
Kim Jong-il:
Tell Clinton to cut the crap so we can chat about those two
  hottie reporters we nabbed.
Interpreter:
His excellency asks for your views on our two new guests.
Clinton:
Tell the little weasel to let them go or we'll nuke him back to
  the Stone Age.
Interpreter:
President Clinton inquires about the health and well-being
  of our two new guests and says they might be happier back in USA.
Kim:
Ask him what his imperialist Obamaniacs will pay for them to be
  released.
Interpreter:
Our glorious leader asks how you and America will show
  your friendship with our exalted nation should we free the reporters.
Clinton:
How about this -- we don't nuke you and we give you a few
  billion bucks worth of food aid so you can feed your starving people.
Interpreter:
President Clinton offers most generous assistance to our
  exalted nation and the glorious North Korean people for goodwill.
Kim:
Tell Clinton we have to have our nuclear program left alone.
Interpreter:
Our exalted leader states that our scientific research
  activities must be allowed to continue unhampered by the USA.
Clinton:
Tell the little weasel that he can shove his missiles where the
  sun doesn't shine.
Interpreter:
President Clinton states that our glorious nation will be
  allowed to continue developing our nuclear weapons at night.
Kim:
Now, what the Hell does that mean? Who does Clinton think he
  is, the Dalai Lama? Tell him this: no nukes, no free hotties.
Interpreter:
Our great leader says that we must be left in peace to
  follow the paths of peace, as it is written and as it must be done.
Clinton:
All right, we'll give him some breathing space before we take
  away his pretty nuclear toys, which don't work anyway.
Interpreter:
President Clinton says our weapons program can move
  forward without American interference, at least for the present.
Kim:
Tell him it's a deal, the hotties can leave, but if he renegs, we
  will snatch Hillary the next time she shows up here.
Interpreter:
Our glorious leader has graciously consented to the
  release of the two spying reporters, into your custody, Mr. President
Clinton:
Tell him he's doing the right thing, for once in his miserable
  little life.
Interperter:
President Clinton thanks our exalted leader, may he live
  forever, for his kindness to the two spying reporters.
Kim:
Tell Clinton that horse manure smells the same here as in the
  USA, and he can send me some more American movies to seal the
  deal.
Interpreter:
Our exalted leader wishes all the best to President Clinton
  and his charming wife, the Secretary of State; come back anytime.
Clinton:
I'll come back here when this is a free and democratic nation
  and the little weasel is pushing up the daisies. Don't tell him that.
Authors Bio:
Author's Biography
Eugene Elander has been a progressive social and political activist for decades. As an author, he won the Young Poets Award at 16 from the Dayton Poets Guild for his poem, The Vision. He was chosen Poet Laureate of Pownal, Vermont for his poem Pownal People. His three new verses for America the Beautiful:September 11, 2001 were widely acclaimed and read into the Congressional Record by U.S. Senator Chris Dodd.
Dr. Elander has authored four volumes of poetry: The Right Click, The World Click, Journeyings, and Philosophy over Fika, all written from 2004 to now, in the U.S. and Sweden -- as well as two published novels: The Goat of God, and Turning the Tides, both available via Signalman Publishing on Amazon.com in Kindle and electronic pdf editions. A self-help book titled Empowerment:Taking Charge of your Life was recently completed and is available via Amazon.com KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing.
Dr. Elander is a freelance columnist who published a newspaper for ten years in New London, CT. He is an economist and college lecturer, and has been an agency executive director, emergency management consultant, investigator; and former animal control officer, deputy code enforcement and health officer for Farmington, New Hampshire. He and his wife Birgit, who co-authored The World Click, divide their time between Georgia and her homeland, Gotland, Sweden.
Several other books are underway, including a sequel to The Goat of God, and a public version of his doctoral dissertation on Cooperatism, a new economic system he developed which includes all stakeholders (workers, consumers, and the public as well as stockholders) in crucial decision making. Dr. Elander has been a member of the Stonepile Writers group in Georgia and the Poetry Society of New Hampshire. He is president of his own Elander Press.