Mr. Krauthammer: What if the terrorist suspect was your mother?

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The conservatives always hijack control of an issue by using a very unlikely hypothetical in the verbal equivalent of the rodeo-clown diversion, often to great success.  The Liberals never catch on and turn the tables on the masters of the political agenda.  Charlie the K (AKA Charles Krauthammer of the renowned Washington Post) is dominating the Torture Debate with some off-the-wall imaginary scenarios, and the dummies on the left are acquiescing.  Why not challenge him with some possible (but not likely) exceptions to his (hypothetical) exceptions.  If there’s not going to be a serious “stick to the subject” (Do you condone War Crimes?) debate; why not have some sophomoric fun?

If (heavens fore fend!) the Liberals ever grew a pair and decided to stand up to those who would control the discourse, it might look something like the letter I sent to Charlie the K.  Naturally, the only reply was an automatically generated e-mail but, since we can write our own column, we will reprint our e-mail which fell on deaf ears and wouldn't there possibly be some hypothetical exceptions to the exceptions?  Why didn't he bring up the possibility that a logical response to his suggested hypothetical exceptions might elicite some hypothetical exceptions to the exceptions?  Gees, does he need an assistant?

Here is the e-mail we sent to him
Quote:
Hi Mr. K!

I have two (hypothetical) questions about your two (hypothetical) exceptions for condoning American torture:

Would it be OK to use extreme questioning methods on a suspected terrorist who might have valuable information about a developing terrorist attack if the suspect was your mother?

Would you be willing to do the questioning?

I love injecting hypotheticals into debates and will probably write a column quoting this letter.

Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.

End quote.

Then comes the possibility of hypotheticals being added to the hypothetical:  if the terrorist suspect was his mother-in-law and not his mother, that might change the perspective on the exception to the exception questions, wouldn't it?

We understand that Charlie the K is very busy these days being the leading spokesman (Republicans don't have "spokespersons") for the fans of extreme questioning and won't have time to send us a personal reply, so we invite any Charlie the K fans, who might read this, to be his proxy and respond in the comments section below.

Thanks to Nancy Pelosi’s inexcusable meddling and incompetence, the topic of torture now reverts to a Benjamin Franklin quote from the Revolutionary era: "We must, indeed, all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately." So, if the Democrats press ahead with indictments they'll go down with the Republicans. 

Obviously the Democrats don’t want to be included in any prosecutions for the extreme methods of questioning that they have (retroactively) sanctioned too, so it’s time to forgedaboutdit.  They have, in the modern vernacular, “queered the deal.” 

Enjoy your retirement, 43!

This column’s special guest disk jockey will (miraculously) be Murry the K, who will play, Ernie K-Doe’s Mother-in-law.  We'll git while the gittin' is good.  Have an "all charges dropped" type week.

Authors Website: marijuana-news.org/smokesignals

Authors Bio:

BP graduated from college in the mid sixties (at the bottom of the class?) He told his draft board that Vietnam could be won without his participation. He is still appologizing for that mistake. He received his fist photo lesson from a future Pulitzer Prize winner. (Eddie Adams in the AP lunch room told him to get rid of the everready case for his new Nikon F). A Pulitzer Prize winning reporter broke BP in on the police beat for a small daily in Pa. By 1975, Paul Newman had asked for Bob's Autograph.
(Google this: "Paul Newman asked my autograph" and click the top suggested URL.)
His co-workers on the weekly newspaper in Santa Monica,(in the Seventies) included a future White House correspondent for Time magazine and one of the future editors high up on the Playboy masthead. Bob has been to the Oscar ceremony twice before Oscar turned 50.
He is working on a book of memoirs tentatively titled "Paul Newman Asked for my Autograph." In the gold mining area of Australia (Kalgoorlie), Bob was called: "Col. Sanders."