The Moosylvania Gazette theory of election conspiracy and why it's easier to believe all that vote fraud ruckus is just more fodder from the lunatic fringe of poor losers wasting taxpayers' money than it is to consider the possibilities of a big bad voting conspiracy.

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In Conspiracy Theorist!, author Josh Mitteldorf’s asks why the “veil of silence” in the media. I’ve my own theories on that one. If there is no conspiracy, well, the answer’s obvious. Or when someone steals a truckload of ballots, that’s an easy get. But a high-tech geek invading a tangled maze of computers?  Not so easy. Even the GAO’s investigation into Florida’s 2006 fizzled in a flopped finale of no conclusive evidence in their final thrust of testing two working machines. If the GAO didn’t get it … Besides, where’s the sound bite? (1)--

Still, perhaps one answer to Mitteldorf’s “veil of silence” question can be found in the Moosylvania Gazette’s Theory of Kerfuffle. Consider the following three scenarios in which your friends commit crimes. Which ones hit the news?--

1.  You and three pals from Wossamotta U. remain close over the years even though your careers took off in separate directions. You’re a reporter for the Moosylvania Gazette while two of your friends work at local banks. Your other friend works with computers, which is okay because he rarely talks about it. Although, he does jabber a bit much about his antique gun collection.--

Last month your friends’ banks were both robbed. Ingeniously cleaned out, vaults and all by some guy wielding a Colt .45 and wearing a Wossamotta U. cap. This week all three friends are driving shiny new Corvettes. You’re intrigued, right?

2.  In the next scenario, your friends live in different states. Ohio, New Jersey, Florida. Again the banks are robbed. Do you even take notice?--

3.   In final scenario, your banker friends are politicians in Ohio and Florida. And your gunslinger doesn’t just work with computers, he’s a genius computer geek. He’s as foreign to you now as that finicky computer of yours. This November your political friends score big upset wins in landslide victories. Nice! Perhaps you’ll interview them when they come to town for their big homecoming victory bash. Everyone will be there, maybe even your computer geek friend. Wonder what he’s up to these days.==---

Okay, so that’s all bunk. But does it demonstrate how easily we grasp the concept of a gun slinging bank robber? Not so easy when the weapon of choice is a computer and the valuables stolen are our votes. And downright convoluted when the theft is “Kerfuffled” by a separation of states, counties, endless parades of candidates, and the dueling red and blue teams. Throw in a plethora of computers, parts, and pieces and again where’s the sound bite, let alone the complete and accurate story? Not only does this actual scenario present a complex ricocheting target, but often takes so long to wallow through the legalities, by the time we get solid answers, most of us are indeed tired of the question and the election is last year’s stale news.----

Consider though, how many times your bank system has failed. You swipe your card, poke a pad and grab your money. Considering the complexities, interactions and mega usage of your bank system, do you wonder how banks can get it right, but voting systems can’t when all a voting system has to do is tally the votes? Do you wonder?---

Do you know that one voting machine vendor, Sequoia, implicated in rigging 2000’s punchcard ballots (2), is responsible for election failures in at least nine of the seventeen states in which it counts or miscounts your votes. While another vendor, ES&S, considered in a previous article (3) counted or miscounted 50 percent of the votes in the last four major U.S. elections and is responsible for voting failures in 34 states? (4)---

So the next time your hear about some renegade voting machines botching the votes in Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Delaware, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Indiana, Kansas, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi,  Nebraska, Nevada, New Jersey, New Mexico, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia, Washington, Wisconsin, or Wyoming (5) … consider a failure to unscramble the geeky stuff doesn’t necessarily make it not so. ---

It may be easier to believe all the vote fraud ruckus is just more fodder from that lunatic fringe of poor losers wasting taxpayers’ money than it is to consider the possibilities of a big bad voting conspiracy. But conspiracy or no, whether the wholesale destruction of our votes is by intent or shoddy vendor practices, our votes are stolen from us nonetheless and the end result is the same.

References:
1. GAO’s investigation into Florida’s 2006 touchscreens fizzled in a flopped finale of no conclusive evidence after testing two working machines in their final “search” for the screen hardware malfunctions.
GAO D-13: Voters with Secret Decoder Rings Get Votes Counted, 08/02/12
Sarasota 13: If the tests can't find it, never mind it?, 08/02/29
2. Vote-Rigging' Scandal via Dan Rather Report on Sequoia's Gaming of Florida Punchcards in 2000," Bradblog.com, 8/28/2007.)
3. Conspiracy, coincidence, or skullduggery. When is a coincidence too much of a coincidence to be one?  
4. Election Systems and Software (ES&S), Sequoia 
5. VotersUnite.Org voting errors

Authors Bio:

Author of A MARGIN OF ERROR: BALLOTS OF STRAW, featured in "Small Press Bookwatch" - Politics is a tough career, with more knives in backs than a backstabbing convention. "A Margin of Error: Ballots of Straw" is a political thriller following Cady Palmer as she attempts to stand up for what she believes in the face of a corrupt governor and his deep reaching network. Not knowing who to trust, Cady submerges herself in the webs of deceit where her next mistake may be her last. "A Margin of Error" is an exciting read. --Midwest Book Review

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Lani Brown draws on personal experience as an election official for this suspense novel.