An adaptation of Hamlet, from the Elizabethan English, to the contemporary.

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ACT 4, SCENE 3

                                   (Enter the King and two or three
                                   Lords.)

                                   CLAUDIUS
            That he goes loose!  We cannot charge him, the people love
            him; if we charge him, they'll revolt--so we send him off
            under careful cover.  He's a threat we may not recover from
            if things do not go as we manage.

                                   (Claudius takes que from attendant.)

                                   CLAUDIUS (CONT'D)
            Send them in.

                                   (Rosencrantz and Guildenstern enter.)

                                   CLAUDIUS
            What then?

                                   ROSENCRANTZ
            We can't get it out of him.

                                   CLAUDIUS
            Where is he?

                                   ROSENCRANTZ
            Outside, my lord, guarded; at your pleasure.

                                   CLAUDIUS
            Bring the prince in.

                                   (Hamlet enters under guard.)

                                   CLAUDIUS
            Where's Polonius?

                                   HAMLET
            At supper.

                                   CLAUDIUS
            Where?

                                   HAMLET
            Where does he eat?  Or where is he eaten?  Our emperors of
            diet are busy with him.  Right?  If we fatten creatures to
            fatten ourselves, only to fatten worms, then a king and a
            beggar are but two courses served upon the same table.  No?

                                   (Claudius cocks head.)

                                   HAMLET (CONT'D)
            A man can fish with a worm that fed off the corpse of a king,
            and then eat the fish that ate that worm!  Think of it, a
            king can make a formal journey through the guts of a beggar.

                                   CLAUDIUS
            Where is the body of the lord?

                                   HAMLET
            In heaven, look for him there.  And if your messenger has no
            word, seek him out in the other place yourself.

                                   (Beat.)

                                   HAMLET (CONT'D)
            If your search takes too long, you'll smell him beneath the
            stairs to the lobby.

                                   CLAUDIUS
                          (to attendants OS)
            Check the stairs and get the body to the  chapel.

                                   (Beat.)

                                   CLAUDIUS
            Prince Hamlet, for your own safety, we're sending thee hence
            to England on an errand.  With fiery quickness.  Your escorts
            and ship are waiting.

                                   HAMLET
            England.

                                   CLAUDIUS
            Away prince Hamlet.

                                   HAMLET
            Good.

                                   CLAUDIUS
            So it is.

                                   HAMLET
            Farewell mother.

                                   CLAUDIUS
            Father!

                                   HAMLET
            Father and mother are one flesh--therefore mother!  Away!

                                   (Hamlet exits.)

                                   CLAUDIUS
                          (to Lords)
            Let me read it again.

                                   (Lord hands him PARCHMENT.) 

                                   CLAUDIUS (CONT'D)
                          (reading aloud)
            King of England.  I know that since you are still raw from
            our Danish victory over you, and the schedule of fees still
            incomplete, you cannot dismiss my sovereign request.
            Described within the accompanying letters are my instructions
            for the immediate death of Prince Hamlet. Do it, England.
            The thought of him rages in my blood like a sickness, and you
            must cure me.  Till I know it's done, my joys will not begin.

                                   (Claudius and lords exit.)

Authors Website: http://www.cc2.org

Authors Bio:

Writer/artist/activist from California, with a degree in Creative Studies from the University of California at Santa Barbara. Advocating for the convention clause of Article V since 2001.