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October 9, 2007

On Wiretapping, Democrats Ask Bush: "Would You Like it Gift-Wrapped?"

By Dean Powers

Rooting for the Democrats is like rooting for the Chicago Cubs...


Rooting for the Democrats is like rooting for the Chicago Cubs...except it has only been about a half-century since Democrats have won a championship.

Here's a quick summation of the last several weeks: Democrats failed to pass anything to change course in Iraq, then ended weeks of Congressional deadlock by helping Republicans resolve to condemn for exercising their free speech. Then, to top it off, Democrats passed on an opportunity to hold Republicans accountable to their own standards by condemning Rush Limbaugh, who compared an anti-war soldier to a suicide bomber.

How could it get any worse? Seriously. I'm looking for ideas. Please post them below. I might feel better about my life.

Oh, I have an idea. They could help President Bush "maintain for several years the type of broad, blanket authority for N.S.A. wiretapping that the administration secured in August for just six months." Uh oh. Part of that sentence has quotation marks around it. God, I hope the first part of the quote is: "Democrats will never allow President Bush to..." or "Democrats would rather taste death than watch the constitution burn and help..."

To find out, we're going to have to consult yesterday's New York Times. And the missing part really reads (drum-roll): "A Democratic bill to be proposed Tuesday in the House would..."

Wow. Really? Because I thought... No. Come ON! YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING MEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That sound in the background is my armchair going through the living room wall and landing on my neighbor's cat.

Meanwhile, a "competing bill" might provide "retroactive immunity for telecommunications companies that took part in the N.S.A.’s once-secret program to wiretap without court warrants."

Retroactive immunity? Why would you need immunity if you never committed a crime in the first place? My inquisitive mind leads me to guess that crimes were committed and our honorable Representatives are actually working against our better interest to see justice served by protecting the powerful.

Apparently, according to the experts, Democrats are helping President Bush consolidate power so that they don't look weak on terrorism. In reality, Democrats don't have to worry about looking weak on terrorism because they look weak practically every day they go to work and let us down. They're like those sickly-skinny guys in the gym, who do a few free-weights so they don't look weak on weight-lifting. Who the hell are they fooling?

But the Upper-East-Side liberals are not the only Americans who find wire-tapping and domestic surveillance insidious. Nobody wants this government snooping around underneath our covers. The terrorists who hijacked four planes and killed 3,000 Americans didn't succeed because we lacked the ability to receive warnings. No, no, no. They succeeded because the Bush Administration and senior-level FBI officials repeatedly ignored or suppressed warnings.

Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid must not allow the Bush administration to continue operating outside of former wiretapping surveillence laws.

It's foolish and it's disgraceful for Democrats to give away more power to the executive branch. It will come back to haunt us all.

Submitters Bio:

Dean Powers lives in Castleton, VT. He has apprenticed at several newspapers including The Nation. He currently writes for OpEdNews. He can be found at