This piece is a slight revision from a message I addressed to a Q and MyPillow believer. I'm exaggerating what they were promising, but not by much. .

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Gadzooks, Mike, it really happened. After November 5, January 6 and early March went by without the promised Storm, the vanquishing of liberalism, I'd given up on August 13. But wow, what a day. August 13 will live on alongside the Fourth of July. The greatest POTUS in history is back.

Freed by the thousands from their basement cages at the Clinton Mansion, Democratic National Headquarters and countless pizza parlors, child sex slaves saw the sun again and cried such tears of joy that rivers formed. Too bad patriots could not strike sooner. The videos of half-eaten babies will haunt me forever.

But let's celebrate an America redeemed, a cup 99.99 percent full. What was the high point?

Was it General Flynn leading a hundred thousand GIs to the Pentagon and leading away in chains the traitorous Joint Chiefs? That Marine battalion singing From the Halls of Montezuma had the gathering throngs singing and marching along.

Or was it the guillotine and the gallows erected on the Capitol Mall?

For me it was the helicopter landing at the base of the Capitol steps. Real President, Messiah, Dear Leader, Suzerain for Life Donald John Trump disembarked and ordered the Keystone Cops to step aside or get big whoopass this time. Real Americans who came from bars in Birmingham and churches in Tulsa swarmed inside. No sound on Earth betters the pitter-patter of Trumpkin feet on marble floors. The smell of tar and feathers on Harris, Pelosi, Schumer and the Squad is more gratifying than even napalm in the morning.

No resistance was encountered at the White House. Awakened in the middle of the day and informed that Trump was back, Pretender-in-Chief Biden blubbered, "Who?" Just as Tucker, Lou, Laura and Sean promised.

Marjorie Taylor Greene replaces that milquetoast Pence as Veep.

The Supreme Court, in a 6-0 decision (three liberal justices have mysteriously disappeared) written by Justice Kavanaugh, said DJT can interpret the Constitution as he pleases, even if he never gets around to reading it. They also stated that Internet evidence of the stolen election is convincing to anyone but a rat-Islamocommie with ties to Venezuela.

The Royals, the pope, George Soros and Bill Gates have been lynched. China has surrendered unconditionally.

Henceforth:

1. Masks and vaccines are illegal.

2. All persons of Mexican ancestry will be sent south, even if their families were here before Davey Crockett and the Gold Rush. Exceptions will be considered for registered Republicans.

3. "African-Americans" are henceforth known as Africans in Residence on Temporary Visas.

4. Open gun carry is mandatory for all persons five and above. However:

5. Judgment whether persons carrying weapons are a threat to public safety is left to police, who may use deadly force at their discretion.

6. Capital punishment is so in. So are white-sheet parties. Those two functions may be combined.

7. Practicing Islam is a felony. Better hide that rug you kneel on, Hussein Obama.

8. Cyber-Ninjas will count the votes in all future elections.

9. English is the only permitted language.

10. NYT and WaPo are banned. The First Amendment does not protect fake news.

11. LGBTQIA rights, penduluming penises in ladies' rooms, five o'clock shadows on sportswomen? Forget about it.

I don't know about you, but I'm going to eat a pound of meat, open a Bud Light, burn coal and snuggle up to a MyPillow pillow.

What, it didn't really happen? Huh. I read it on a website called Kill Democracy Save America. You must be right about September. I'll get in touch on October first.

Authors Bio:
Dan Vasey is a home brewer and reformed academic, living in Australia and retired from teaching after stints in Colorado, Papua New Guinea and Iowa. An anthropologist and human ecologist, his research specialty has been population and agriculture. Published works include An Ecological History of Agriculture: 10,000 BC – A.D. 10,000 and scholarly articles on indigenous agriculture in Oceania and on Icelandic population history. Recently he has been an editor and writer for the Berkshire Encyclopedia of Sustainability. Construction of his website on alternative futures is behind schedule.