I had so many tragedies to deal with in my life - the suicide of a close friend, losing my parents in a plane crash, the death of my husband when I was expecting my third child, breast cancer - I was so alone and felt so isolated....I've been a grief counseling now for more than 20 years. I tried to take the most important things that I've learned, the important things to focus upon, and incorporate them into my book.

::::::::

My guest today is Deborah Derman, Ph. D., grief counselor and author of Colors of Loss and Healing, An Adult Coloring Book for Getting Through Tough Times.

Joan Brunwasser: Welcome to OpEdNews, Deborah. Tell us please why you wrote this book.

Deborah Derman: I received a coloring book for my last birthday. It was the first adult coloring book that I had ever seen. I was quite overwhelmed when I looked at all the illustrations - so many tiny spaces to fill - it was kind of overwhelming! I started coloring, and kept at it. I had a lightbulb moment that this was exactly how I proceeded through my difficult times - just keep doing one small thing at a time.

I had so many tragedies to deal with in my life - the suicide of a close friend, losing my parents in a plane crash, the death of my husband when I was expecting my third child, breast cancer - I was so alone and felt so isolated....got my doctorate and studied grief and healing, really so I could help others who were in similar situations. My suffering was profound, and I never wanted anyone else to feel as alone as I felt.

I've been a grief counseling now for more than 20 years, and I know a lot both personally and professionally about healing. I tried to take the most important things that I've learned, the important things to focus upon, and incorporate them into my book.

JB: You've definitely had your share of tragedy - one major blow after another. Yikes! At what point in all this did you study grief and healing? As you practiced as a grief counselor, did the work help your own healing process?

DD: I received an acceptance to graduate school when I had been widowed for two months. Getting my acceptance letter to the Ph.D. program should have been a high point of my life, but all I felt was a sense of sadness. I delayed the start of school until my third child turned 1. I took as many classes as I could, and all that depended on good child care. If I had a reliable sitter, I could take two or three classes, otherwise I could only take one. I studied all year without a break and finished my doctorate in six years. I devoted all of my graduate work to the study of loss and healing. Did it help me heal? Yes!

JB: Talk about having a full plate: All that study while you had three small children. I can definitely see the advantages, but I feel compelled to ask: Is there any downside having a counselor who's been so vulnerable him/herself?

DD: Here's the thing. You have to find someone who has ALSO had professional training. I am able to provide two very important things to my patients: personal experience and the empathy that comes with it, and a doctorate which gives me professional and clinical skills. I have a Ph.D. in school, and a Ph.D. in life!

JB: And how! Tell us more about this coloring book that you've put out. Aren't we a little old for that? And how does it work exactly?

DD: I have identified the words and concepts that I think are important for healing. I took each word and embedded it in a beautiful illustration. For example, the word "memory" is written in a picture of the perennials in my garden. Those flowers were planted in my first home with my first husband, and I have replanted those perennials in my new home with my new husband.

I feel that journaling can also be very therapeutic. I have included pages for journaling next to each illustration.

I have very carefully chosen my words, and feel that they can be like a blueprint for healing. This is a book, NOT about death and dying, but about hope and living!

Carl Jung was actually the first psychologist who utilized coloring with his patients. He noted that people became calmer and more centered by coloring mandalas (prayer wheels). So, coloring for adults has been around for a long time!

I belong to several adult coloring book clubs on Facebook. The coloring that some people can do is completely amazing.

So, when a person takes a little time to color, particularly if someone is going through a difficult time, a calming space has been created. From this place of calm, a person can get some respite from pain, and some time to reflect.

JB: Such a simple concept but so "out there". Don't people initially feel self-conscious about coloring? After all, it's what we did as toddlers. How do you get them to make the leap?

DD: It's not at all out there. Go on Facebook and see the type of work that people do with a simple coloring book and pencils. The pictures are extraordinary!

JB: Okay. I'll check it out. By the way, I absolutely love the story about your perennials and how they went from your past to your present and found their way into your book as well.

DD: I have heard that a major book retailer carries almost 2,000 different coloring books! I don't think anyone feels self-conscious. It's an incredibly popular pastime, and people really enjoy it. It was actually my patients that told me about coloring, and about how much they enjoyed it. I took the concept to the next level. I wanted to take advantage of its calming influence, and get grieving people to focus on my words. I know so well how concentration is impaired during hard times.

JB: Yep, that's certainly true. How does one use your book? Must we go in order? Do we have to finish coloring one page in order to proceed to the next?

Is there a right or wrong way to do this?

DD: These pages are not presented in any particular order. The word 'wisdom' for example, can occur at any point in healing. The same with' tears'. I have been widowed for almost 25 years, and I still cry at times. So, there is not one right way to use my book.

JB: So you can flit from page to page, coloring as feelings ebb and flow? Hmmmm; that could be liberating and cathartic.

DD: Of course!

JB: Good to know! When did your book come out and how's it been received so far?

DD: The book is being very well received. I'm hearing from people all over the world - Belgium, Canada, South America, all over the United States. The book came out on April 1, 2016, and is soon to be published by Rodale Publishing.

JB: Wonderful! But I'm confused. You say: The book came out on April 1, 2016, and is soon to be published by Rodale Publishing. What does that mean? Is Rodale doing the paperback version?

DD: I self-published the book. After great reviews and an incredible New York Times article by Jane Brody, Rodale agreed to publish the second edition of the book.

JB: Lovely. What would you like to add before we wrap this up?

DD: If you could mention that the book is available from Amazon, and put my website in the article, that would be great!

JB: Sure. Good luck with this handy healer of a book! Thanks so much for talking with me; it was a pleasure.

***

Deborahdermanphd.com

FB page: "Colors of Loss and Healing"

Authors Website: http://www.opednews.com/author/author79.html

Authors Bio:

Joan Brunwasser is a co-founder of Citizens for Election Reform (CER) which since 2005 existed for the sole purpose of raising the public awareness of the critical need for election reform. Our goal: to restore fair, accurate, transparent, secure elections where votes are cast in private and counted in public. Because the problems with electronic (computerized) voting systems include a lack of transparency and the ability to accurately check and authenticate the vote cast, these systems can alter election results and therefore are simply antithetical to democratic principles and functioning.



Since the pivotal 2004 Presidential election, Joan has come to see the connection between a broken election system, a dysfunctional, corporate media and a total lack of campaign finance reform. This has led her to enlarge the parameters of her writing to include interviews with whistle-blowers and articulate others who give a view quite different from that presented by the mainstream media. She also turns the spotlight on activists and ordinary folks who are striving to make a difference, to clean up and improve their corner of the world. By focusing on these intrepid individuals, she gives hope and inspiration to those who might otherwise be turned off and alienated. She also interviews people in the arts in all their variations - authors, journalists, filmmakers, actors, playwrights, and artists. Why? The bottom line: without art and inspiration, we lose one of the best parts of ourselves. And we're all in this together. If Joan can keep even one of her fellow citizens going another day, she considers her job well done.


When Joan hit one million page views, OEN Managing Editor, Meryl Ann Butler interviewed her, turning interviewer briefly into interviewee. Read the interview here.

While the news is often quite depressing, Joan nevertheless strives to maintain her mantra: "Grab life now in an exuberant embrace!"


Joan has been Election Integrity Editor for OpEdNews since December, 2005. Her articles also appear at Huffington Post, RepublicMedia.TV and Scoop.co.nz.