"OUT OF THE BLUE" -- On June 22, 2006, Dark Lord the Dick Cheney crawled out of his lair for a non-interview on the veranda in sunlight. Amazingly, and contrary to what many believed what would happen, he did not turn to dust. His answers, however, surprised no one.

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(This column appeared in THE LONE STAR ICONOCLAST, Crawford, Texas, and at www.LoneStarIcon.com the week of June 26, 2006.)

The Dark Lord made a rare daylight appearance on national television today (Thursday, June 22, 2006). Even more rare, he agreed to an interview -- on CNN.

The recipient to have been bestowed honor such as this exclusive face-to-face with the Dick Cheney was John King, the news giant's chief national correspondent.

Yep, whenever the real fun stuff comes along, such as a secret flight to Baghdad, King's the guy to whom the White House gives the personal invitation.

And when El Veepo orders up a talk on the veranda, actually in the sunlight, complete with softball questions - all conditions in forward mode to make him appear sweet and lovable - King's the go-to guy.

Because there's no way he's going to ask any question as difficult as those even the tough Larry King (no relation, I'm sure) might pose.

Besides, whenever hard-hittin' John asked a question Dark Lord preferred to not answer, it simply went unanswered. John knows not to press an issue, lest he be silenced and ignored by the Regime a' la Helen Thomas.

That shotgun leanin' against the doorframe off-camera might have been a mild deterrent to open debate, too.

Despite all the facts we now know, such as all the "facts" conjured up by Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz and Donnie Rumsfeld were not facts at all but Faerie Taeles based upon fantasies of the deepest, darkest dimensions, the Dick refuses to budge one mil (0.0001/inch) as to the reasons behind the illegal invasion of Iraq.

Of course, King hasn't the cojones to call Cheney out on any of that.

On any number of issues, the Dick fell back on "I support the president's policy," which we know would be pretty much his own or that of Herr Oberst Karl Rove. But on the record these policies belong to egomaniacal George W. Bush. Ain't it nice having a fall guy?

Dark Lord scooted around the Scooter Libbey issue, using the excuse that he may have to testify. When asked if "Executive Privilege" will be a White House strategy, he began scooting faster in ever-widening circles.

King asked Cheney where had the jokester of 10, 15 years ago gone. The Dick said it was hard being lighthearted after 9/11 - that 9/11 changed everything in America.

Now, where have we heard that before?

King George XLIII certainly has no problem joking around, even at the most serious press conferences.

George always manages to smile (well, he at least smirks) when talking about death, destruction, and how he's gonna git some evildoer or another. It's not uncommon for those whose synapses aren't firing in proper synchronicity to smile a lot, with or without reason. These people also display a tendency to make jokes or play around in inappropriate settings.

It's nice to see a dude happy in his job, even if it is "hard work," as he continually reminded us during Herr Rove's 2004 Campaign to Steal America, Phase III.

Toward the end of the interview, Cheney was queried as to his feelings about having poll numbers lower than the 33% enjoyed by George.

With typical hubris the Dick responded that the King and he would be done with politics after this term, so they didn't pay attention to the polls.

Said he, we're doing what we think is best for the Country.

Damn what the people want!

They refuse to pull our troops out of Iraq because that will cause terrorists to attack U.S. targets at home.

He's talking with callous disregard about your sons and daughters, husbands and wives, partners and parents; somebody's brothers, sisters, grandchildren, nieces, nephews and cousins; everyone's friends and neighbors.

Realize that not one person in the White House Fascist Regime has a direct link to anyone serving in the military - or even getting smashed nightly in Alabama on an Air National Guard flight lieutenant's paycheck.

Mr. Five Deferment Cheney quit school in the middle of his doctorate program as soon as the draft would no longer affect him.

Doing what's best for the Country, my 100% Italian-American posterior!

The longer we stay in Iraq, the more money Halliburton and other Rove/Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld/Rice Charities make off U.S. taxpayers and dead brown people.

These people don't believe in traditional charities, such as the United Way and Jerry Lewis' MDA Telethons. They feel an entitlement to line their own pockets is a grand charity, the best and only one - and all the lesser beings of the World must contribute.

On the recent anniversary of the Columbine shootings, Bill Clinton was present to turn a shovel of dirt, finally starting the long-awaited memorial, which he worked hard to make a reality. I couldn't begin to imagine a member of the Royal Bush's or Dark Lord Cheney's participating in any such event.

The memorial fund had raised something like $1.2 Million, but as of that day was still about $350,000.00 short. One speaker mentioned that the golf club across the road offered to match the next $50,000.00 in contributions that came in.

From the back of the dais, Mr. Clinton said tell them to write the check, because he was taking care of the first $50 thousand.

Now, this isn't something the former President did for a photo op. He wasn't looking for glory. This wasn't on any network news show that I know of; rather I came across a relatively small article in a Colorado newspaper.

Bill Clinton gave of himself because he felt compassion for the people of Columbine, and as President he had made a solemn promise to them.

These are the things a Leader does; Bill is a President of the people.

What we're saddled with in the era of Bush and Cheney are tyrannical ideologues who don't care one scintilla for anything beyond their own power, wealth and comfort.

We're just numbers to them, a fact that was pointed out quite succinctly by Tony Snow when our military dead had reached 2,500 in Iraq.

"I told you so" is such an ugly phrase, but following the martyrdom of Abu Mussab al-Zarkawi I said there would be jihad to pay.

So, al Qaeda looked to its farm system and brought in another non-Iraqi to kill and maim Iraqis and Americans for Iraq and Allah, Sheikh Abu Hamza Al-Muhajer.

These guys have at least as much chutzpah as King George and his (unwitting) Crusaders, bringing in a dude whose name actually translates into "the immigrant."

That makes at least two sides who have absolutely no business in Iraq terrorizing the indigenous populous under the guise of screwed-up misconceptions of holy laws.

So here's Dark Lord the Dick Cheney, on CNN, on my television, trying to get me to believe that there hasn't been a "terrorist" attack on U.S. soil since 9/11 because we invaded Iraq, nor will there be one as long as we keep wasting humanity, infrastructure, equipment and money by the ton in that godforsaken land.

And Herr Karl Rove, essentially the Viceroy (it's the Viceroy who's always the one pressing the nation on to war yet himself too soft and wussy, even effeminate to serve in the military), accusing the Democrats of always "cutting and running" - Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Harry S. Truman showed a tad of moxie in beating the Axis during World War II; John F. Kennedy was cited for heroically saving his PT crew in the Pacific, then saved the Planet during October, 1962 with the able assistance of super-Liberal Adlai E. Stevenson; Truman stood up to the North Koreans and Chinese; Lyndon Johnson escalated the mess in VietNam; John Kerry was thrice wounded in 'Nam.

If we Dems and Liberals are perpetually wrong, wrong, wrong, as Rove is so fond of saying, why are we the ones who have done in the bad guys pretty much all of the time? Why are Republicans connected way back with the sheikhs and mullahs and despots who run Muslim countries?

Some guys merely drive a ridiculous sports car to extend their penises; Karl Rove needs a war in Iraq just to find his.

I doubt sincerely, with all my heart and every fiber of my being, that there was any kind of terrorist attack from persons outside the U.S.A. on September 11, 2001. The "terrorists" were then and are now based at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, D.C. They are connected to the same evildoers who attempted a coup d'etat in 1998, then stole our Nation away from true, honest Americans in November, 2000, abetted by the Rehnquist Federalist Supremes that December.

It doesn't make any sense to me that those who've never served, or served while doing nothing but partying and getting wasted in Alabama and Connecticut, are running our military - especially a "war" military.

No matter what Dark Lord the Dick Cheney says, or anyone else, for that matter, having our soldiers, Marines and National Guard tied up in Iraq, rather than in place guarding U.S. soil and nearer regions such as Europe, has not, does not, and can not possibly make our Nation safer.

They keep reciting that mantra over and over, again and again, yet not once have we been given a scenario explaining just how this works.

The Dick said that if we leave Iraq the "terrorists" are just going to follow us wherever we go.

When it comes to banal logic, that's about as banal as I've ever heard!

One final thought: Could Michael Chertoff have truly gotten it right when he allocated more Homeland Security money to Chicago, as Mayor Richard M. Daley has screamed for years? Did he know about this plot in Miami, and use the funding shift to make himself look smarter than he really is? Or did he just get damn lucky?

A plot against the Sears Tower? What in the hell's wrong with those clowns? They had to have been confused -- Sears was bought by innocuous Kmart, not the wicked Wal-Mart.

(July 6 addendum: Since I wrote this, we've all learned that the FBI had these goofballs pegged weeks before Chertoff's "decision" to increase Chicago's share of OHS funds. What a political crock! And the only reason the "ringleader" was targeting the Sears Tower was to create a diversion to attempt a breakout of some of his equally inept pals from either the nearby Federal lock-up or Cook County Jail.)

Adios amigos, y Shalom!

© 2006, The Lone Star Iconoclast

Authors Website: www.lonestaricon.com

Authors Bio:
An erstwhile Philosopher and sometime Educator, Jerry Tenuto is a veteran of seven years service in the U.S. Army. He holds a BS and MA in Broadcast Communications from Southern Illinois University at Carbondale. For two decades Jerry filled the airwaves with rock, roll and banter as a disc jockey -- until greed, the rebirth of payola, and de-Reaganlation ruined that medium. Depending upon your taste in political stew, you can either blame or thank Jerry for his weekly "Out Of The Blue" feature in THE LONE STAR ICONOCLAST, Crawford, Texas, www.LoneStarIcon.com -- because somebody from that community has to do the world right.