Is it possible that the BushCheney NSA wiretrapping scheme keeps comic Yakov Smirnov awake at night with nightmares of KGB horrors? Do GOP members of Congress suddenly jolt from their sleep in a cold sweat, visions of FBI office raids dancing through their heads? Should VA bureaucrats be entrusted with anyone's personal data?

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"OUT OF THE BLUE"

Remember Yakov Smirnov, the Russian actor/comedian who was relinquished to the United States as a result of détente, then numbed our minds by appearing in every other movie and on television ad nauseum?

And, how his meteoric rise to recognizability was eclipsed by an instantaneous drop into the abyss of what morning radio personalities refer to as the “Where Are They Now?” file?

A short net search resulted in several facts: Yakov became an American citizen in 1986; he co-starred with the late, great Don Knotts in a short-lived sitcom during the early 1990s; you can find him headlining at the “Yakov Smirnov Theatre” in (where else) Branson; the current theme of his show is a celebration of his 20th Anniversary as a U.S. citizen – a status of which Mr. Smirnov is extremely proud.

What was his catch phrase, anyway? Oh, come on, unless you lived in a cave or on the lonesome prairie, there’s no way to forget:
“Is this a great country or what?”

I don’t wish to diminish Yakov’s enthusiasm for his adopted country. After all, coming from Soviet Russia to the U.S.A. of Jimmy Carter, or even Saint Ronnie Reagan, had to have been like walking through the Pearly Gates (at least in terms in human freedoms).

The query that comes to my mind is, does Yakov still use that same catch phrase?

Really, it surely isn’t as applicable as it was 20 or 30 years ago.

Then, considering the typical make-up of the Branson vacationer, it may be exactly what the audience wants, and likes, to hear.

At the risk of appearing close-minded, but feeling no impetus to put Branson on a travel itinerary anytime in the foreseeable (or unforeseeable) future, the chances I’ll find out for myself are nil.

Unfortunately, the prevailing 3rd Millennium, 21st Century response to Yakov’s rhetorical question “Is this a great country or what?” has to be a resounding:

“NOT ANY MORE!”

We are a Nation in serious trouble, from sea to shining sea. Virtually every entity that holds us together is at odds within itself, or straddling the knife-edge of collapse and ruination.

King George has families arguing among themselves over his asinine policies and harebrained, outlaw schemes; friends can’t converse without politics or religion creating rifts, even altercations.

Civility and all reasonableness have gone AWOL during this Regime’s power mad reign, just as a certain Air National Guard Flight Lieutenant was AWOL during the VietNam quagmire.

All Attorney General Alberto Gonzales can do is hide behind perverted interpretations of The Constitution, bastardizing the greatest document man has ever written every time he defends the illegal activities of George Walker Bush.

Never before has executive power been abused to this extent, mutilating so much of what incalculable numbers of courageous Americans – and immigrants, legal or otherwise – have sacrificed to provide liberty and emancipation for all who seek it within our borders.

All with the blessings of the Department of Justice, the Republican-controlled Senate and House of Representatives, and, of course, the ever-expanding Right-wing activist Judiciary.

Let us not forget the mainstream media’s complicity in this forced expropriation of human rights. The absolute uppermost precept of the Federal Communications Commission is that all licensees operate “in the public interest;” not far behind is the requirement that any news presentation be honest, fair and equitable.

The only “public interest” anyone at the FCC seems to concern themselves with anymore is whether or not the Christian Right finds all programming morally acceptable. As for news, far too much of which is currently supplied by corporate masters, the general rule is “air anything that won’t do too much damage to our pals at the White House.”

Where would Gonzo be if there had been a wall between the U.S. and Mexico 80 years or so ago?

Take the philosophies employed in defense of King George XLIII’s wiretapping scheme, and its associated collection by the NSA of electronic data on billions of communications between American citizens since 9/11/2001 (if not earlier than that).

One excuse is that it’s darn hard to know where those pesky terrorists might be at any given moment, so the intelligence community has got to keep track of everybody’s contact patterns. They actually have the impudence to compare it to the Franklin Delano Roosevelt White House hunting for German and Japanese spies during World War II.

Note to George: We’re not fighting the Wehrmacht or Imperial Japanese Army.

Yet, every time King George gets caught with his hand in the cookie jar of illegality, Gonzo intones the “but it’s Constitutionally acceptable” mantra.

The Attorney General fails to acknowledge that George repeatedly sidesteps and ignores bills enacted through Congress and signed into law by Presidents truly worthy of leadership stature afforded by the office.

Regarding the NSA data collection at the whim of the White House, the AG cited a 1979 Supreme Court ruling, attempting to pass off the information collected as “business records,” and as such not entitled to 4th Amendment privacy considerations. However, by taking this route he is completely by-passing the 1986 Electronic Communications Privacy Act, wherein a prior court order is necessary before call records may be turned over to the Government.

Time and again Gonzo has conveniently cherry-picked an older law or court ruling to justify the illicit overreaching edicts of the King. “The Government is bound by the laws Congress passes,” stated Kate Martin, director, Center for National Security Studies, “and when the Attorney General doesn’t even mention them, it is symptomatic of the Government’s profound disrespect for the rule of law.”

In a move that mirrors one of the major gripes our Nation’s crafters had against the monarchy from which they broke free, agents of the Gonzo Justice Department slipped into a Congressperson’s office under cover of darkness, on Saturday night, May 20, 2006 when no official would be anywhere near the Hill, for the sole purpose of searching and seizing without any restraint or authoritative oversight.

The FBI agents who carried out the raid did not invite the Congressional sergeant-at-arms, or anyone else charged with protective duties, to observe the ransacking of Louisiana Democratic Rep. William J. Jefferson’s office.

Now, Jefferson is not number one on my list of Democrats that I’d toss a life preserver to were New Orleans to flood again, but there are wrong ways and right ways to go about extracting information.

With 219 years of adherence to the Constitutional principle of separation of powers, as well as the speech debate clause therein, House leaders Dennis Hastert and Nancy Pelosi concurred jointly that the DOJ was wrong in seizing records from his office. The anger among members of Congress, to have any lawmaker’s official House suite swooped down upon in such a manner, is both widespread and deeply felt.

This is a new low for the Bush Regime, a giant leap for Fascism in America.

Again, Gonzo’s DOJ is attempting to assert it is on Constitutionally solid ground; meanwhile, the White House is tossing white doves to GOP members of the House, trying to assure them they’re not going to be raided.

In other words, this was a bloated assault to divert media focus onto one, solitary Dem who happened to take a measly $100,000 – during a period when his Republican colleagues were amassing ungawdly wealth at massive taxpayer losses. It’s kind of interesting that not one of those crooked-beyond-belief GOP lawbreakers on the Hill ever became the subject of such intense scrutiny.

But, if GOP members aren’t in danger of having their monetary affairs examined, who leaked the report to ABC News that Speaker of the House Hastert was being investigated for his ties to Abramoff? Perhaps “Rovetribution” for not keeping the House Republicans in lockstep, plus taking sides with the Democratic enemy in daring to call out the Regime and DOJ for the lawless miscreants they truly are.

This intellectually-challenged, morally-deficient Regime, under the inhumane thumbs of Herr Oberst Karl Rove and Dark Lord the Dick Chaney, had the chutzpah to agree with an article written by Iranian-American Amir Taheri, friend to Neo-cons, in the Canadian National Post that included unsubstantiated claims of Iranian legislation requiring Jews and other religious minorities to wear distinctive color badges.

A reader poll was included at the article’s conclusion:
“Dangerous Parallel: Is Iran turning into the new Nazi Germany? Share your opinion online…”

Despite its initial confirmation by the Simon Wiesenthal Center, the story was officially revealed as unfounded.

One look at King George’s record and policies, under the guidance of Herr Rove, with Gonzo running interference, and it’s easy to see which Regime more reflects being on track to be the Fourth Reich.

As if this Regime isn’t far enough to the right, Herr Oberst Karl Rove is bringing another Karl-with-a-K into the elite White House Gruppe Aufsehern (Bunch of Overseers). Since Policy Advisor Claude A. Allen was caught swindling discount stores in a “return item switch” scam last February, no person has held the job. It was recently announced that on June 12 American Enterprise Institute scholar and editor Karl Zinsmeister would take over the position.

Karl #2 has written three books defending the Iraq war, calling it a noble effort. Wow! That’s a book a year! He’s also written articles commending the efficiency of Wal-Mart operations – no unions, no retirement plan, no medical plan, locking employees in overnight, strong-arming suppliers to sell below cost, etc. This guy sounds like a real charmer. (It was a Wal-Mart competitor, Target, where Allen was caught scamming.)

Incidentally, AEI is the lockstep organization where Herr Rove gave a policy speech last week…

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, an employee of the Department of Veterans Affairs managed to let personal data of 26,500,000 of my fellow post-VietNam-era vets and me get in the wind. One of the very first, most fundamental concepts the military teaches everyone in basic training or boot camp is the extreme importance of secrecy.

Keep whatever you know to yourself.

Period.

If you work with secret documents, do not for any reason take them home.

Especially when there’s been a rash of break-ins in your neighborhood!

Gugutso! (My spelling may be off, but that’s Italian slang for “squash head,” like the vegetable.)

One final observation:

Hadn’t we thought Georgia was turning the corner, and leaving behind its reputation as the state known for five-toothed goobers and pick-up racin’ rednecks? Word came out recently that the state school board took a step forward, then a couple of gigantic leaps backward all the way through the 20th Century to, well, I’ll be generous and give them credit for post-“Period of the Unpleasantness with the Industrial Yankee North.”

The school board instituted a new test intended to be mandatory for graduation from high school.

An unpredicted flaw came to light when a noticeable percentage of seniors could not meet the minimum requirements.

So, the state board, in its collective infinite wisdom, came to a decision: All the student has to do is come close.

Now, thar y’go. That’s sump-mmm’ t’shoot fer, ain’t it?

As one grandmother put it, “…I don’t think having everything hang on a single test is right.”

Well, that may have worked in 1960, but it won’t fly in the high-tech 21st Century.

Want to venture a guess as to which test gets failed most often? Why, it’s the very subject His Excellency, King George XLIII puts so much store in to make sure our “kids is learnin’” – Science.

Irony is so ironic.

But when you think about it, the dufus 18- and 19-year-old of today is the guaranteed Republican vote of the future -- and red state Southern blind allegiance.

Shalom, y’all!

(This column appeared in THE LONE STAR ICONOCLAST, Crawford, Texas, and at www.LoneStarIcon.com the week of May 29, 2006.)

© 2006, The Lone Star Iconoclast

Authors Website: www.lonestaricon.com

Authors Bio:
An erstwhile Philosopher and sometime Educator, Jerry Tenuto is a veteran of seven years service in the U.S. Army. He holds a BS and MA in Broadcast Communications from Southern Illinois University at Carbondale. For two decades Jerry filled the airwaves with rock, roll and banter as a disc jockey -- until greed, the rebirth of payola, and de-Reaganlation ruined that medium. Depending upon your taste in political stew, you can either blame or thank Jerry for his weekly "Out Of The Blue" feature in THE LONE STAR ICONOCLAST, Crawford, Texas, www.LoneStarIcon.com -- because somebody from that community has to do the world right.