Want the truth about the snow and weather freeze? Forget vortexes, and read Walt Brasch's story about how TV weather people cover a storm.

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A Television Snow Job

by Walter Brasch

With more than a foot of snow, sleet, and ice falling over much of the nation, the television news teams went into overdrive. This may be an accurate description of one of those minute-by-minute broadcasts.

"I'm Harry Hansom. Co-anchor Polly Prattle just called. Her car slid into a ditch about eight miles from the studio. Fortunately, she had her roller-blades, and is skating furiously to get here so she doesn't lose a day's pay. We begin our Team Weather Coverage with chief meteorologist Hugh Miditty."

"Based upon detailed computer analysis and extensive satellite monitoring, available only through our exclusive Poplar Eye-Witless Weather Watch System, we can report that the high temperature this day was set way back in 2008. It was 50 degrees then. Wow! That's real high. The low was set in 1994 when the temperatures plummeted to a minus 8. But with any luck, we'll be able to break that low point today our tomorrow. The cause of this record-breaker is an upper level atmospheric low-pressure system that formed just east of Phoenix, traveled north to I-80, then cruised east where it hit dead-center with another low-pressure system coming north from Spring training in Florida. Or, maybe it began in New Jersey, and then ran a doughnut of isobars around Pennsylvania. As you know, a lot of bad things begin in Jersey. It's also possible it began in Canada, because all bad weather begins in Canada. Anyhow, before the storm leaves our area to drop two feet of hail on Bermuda, we'll have anywhere from five inches to three feet of snow and sleet. Or, maybe, we'll just have a foot or so of acid rain that'll burn the paint off every car in a hundred mile radius."

"Thanks, Hugh, for a report that got real deep. We continue our extended and comprehensive team coverage of the snow emergency with Flake Sepulveda."

"From high atop our All-News Roof, I can tell you there's a heap of snow out here. Let me fight the bruising wind and go to the edge of the roof and take a closer look. It appears . . ."

"We've lost communication with the roof. Let's check traffic with Barry Blades in HeliCam 2."

"It's real white out here. I can't see the road, but it looks like I'm a little south of Manitoba, and up to my rear rotor in snow. I'm also running out of fuel. Back to you, Harry."

"For a ground-level view, we go LIVE to Susie Sweetwater."

"I'm standing in the middle of a large parking lot. It seems to go on forever. The drivers have kept their motors running, but for some reason they aren't moving onto the interstates."

"Susie, I believe you're standing in the middle of I-80. Have you seen any snow plows yet?"

"No, but that white stuff is all around me. As you can see, only my Gucci snow hat is visible at the moment. If my dumb cameraman hadn't broken his leg trying to get 100 pounds of equipment out of the all-weather WFAD News VW bug, we'd have even better pictures of nothing."

"Thanks Susie. Now to Bob Covina, LIVE at the headquarters of that place where all the equipment is. Bob, we understand there are thousands of cars on the interstates, and crews are nowhere to be seen."

"That's right, Harry. It's a matter of safety. It's dangerous for the workers to be out in this kind of weather, especially when there's all those cars, buses, and trucks they'd have to dodge on the interstates."

"Do you have any idea when the workers might begin to clear the roads?"

"It's past 8 p.m. now, so I guess when Management comes to work around 9 or 10  tomorrow we'll have a better idea."

"Thanks, Bob. Now to our social issues reporter, Gopher Galapagos. We understand there are a lot of homeless people affected by this harsh cold, Gus."

"That's right. There are homeless people. I think they're cold."

"Thanks, Gus, for that important story. We have a special satellite link to the command center of the county's Emergency Management Agency, deep within the reinforced bunker of Mount Melmac. Ethel, you've been EMA director 20 years, what's your county doing to provide emergency assistance?"

"Nothing yet, Harry. We weren't told to do anything, so we haven't done anything. But, we're all here in the command center just waiting to answer telephones if anyone calls."

"Thanks, Ethel, keep us posted on the fine work you've been doing. In a warm Washington, D.C., office is our senior political correspondent, Stan Sheboygan, with an exclusive interview."

"Sen. Sludgepump, your reaction to freezing cold and heaps of snow?"

"Well, son, ah guesses this should put to rest all that lib'ral nonsense "bout global warming. Ah'd-a-rec'mend that Al Gore get some long underwear, and then return that tin prize he got a few years back for that nonsense he preached."

"Tin prize?  . . .  Oh, you must mean the Nobel Prize."

"Tin. Copper. Whatever. He oughtta return it 'cuz he was wrong! Not just a li'l bitsy wrong, but real lib'ral wrong!"

"That was Sen. Sludgepump with his usual fine political analysis. Back to the studio."

"We have a breaking news bulletin. That's right. A breaking news bulletin. It's exclusive on WFAD. Only on our station can you get this exclusive! I've just been handed a message about our breaking news bulletin. All electricity--I repeat ALL electricity--is out in a 50 mile radius of our studio. But, you sit right there, and we at WFAD will continue to bring you the latest news and weather. Now, LIVE on Second Street is Kiki Vertigo who's been interviewing residents about their response to the snow."

"With me right now, EXCLUSIVELY on Second Street, is resident Homer Bigeloo who has a snow shovel. Homer, what are you doing?"

"I'm shoveling snow."

"Have you been shoveling long?"

"I don't like snow."

"How long haven't you liked snow?"

"A long time."

"Thanks, Homer. I'm Kiki Vertigo, LIVE on Second Street. Back to you, Harry."

"Another great interview, Kiki. Right after this message from Mendocino Frozen TV Dinners, we'll be back with an abbreviated "World in 60 Seconds' edition, and special 15-second reports about the nuclear war in the Middle East and the break-through discovery of a cure for cancer."

[Walter Brasch, a national award-winning journalist and the author of 18 books, says cabin fever and watching TV newscasts can warp a person's mind. His latest book is Fracking Pennsylvania, an in-depth investigation of the effects of fracking.] 

Authors Website: http://www.walterbrasch.com

Authors Bio:

Walter Brasch is an award-winning journalist and professor of journalism emeritus. His current books are Before the First Snow: Stories from the Revolution , America's Unpatriotic Acts: The Federal Government's Violation of Constitutional and Civil Rights, and 'Unacceptable': The Federal response to Hurricane Katrina, available at amazon.com, borders.com and most major on-line bookstores. BEFORE THE FIRST SNOW is also available at www.greeleyandstone.com (20 discount)

Walter Brasch, a deeply valued Senior Editor at OpEdNews passed from this world on February 9, 2017, age 71, his obituary follows:

Walter M. Brasch, Ph.D., age 71, of 2460 Second Street, Bloomsburg (Espy), died Thursday, Feb. 9, 2017, at Geisinger Medical Center, Danville surrounded by his family.

He was an award-winning former newspaper reporter and editor in California, Iowa, Indiana, and Ohio; professor emeritus of mass communications and journalism at Bloomsburg University; and an award-winning social issues journalist and book author.

Walter was born March 2, 1945, in San Diego, the son of Milton Brasch and Helen (Haskin) Brasch and was a 34 year resident of Espy.

In his early years he was a writer-producer for multimedia and film companies in California, and a copywriter and political analyst for advertising and public relations companies. For five years during the late 1990s, he was the media and social issues commentator for United Broadcasting Network. He was also the author of a syndicated newspaper column since 1992 and the creative vice-president of Scripts Destitute of Phoenix.

Dr. Brasch was a member of the Local Emergency Planning Committee and was active in the Columbia County Emergency Management Agency. He was vice-president of the Central Susquehanna chapter of the ACLU, vice-president and co-founder of the Northeast Pennsylvania Homeless Alliance, a member of the board of the Keystone Beacon Community for healthcare coordination, and was active in numerous social causes. He was co-founder with his wife Rosemary Brasch of The Oasis, a biweekly newsletter for families and friends of personnel stationed in the Persian Gulf. Later, during Operation Iraqi Freedom, they published The Oasis 2, for families of persons in combat zones. They were supported by the Bloomsburg Chapter, America Red Cross and Geisinger Medical Center, Danville.

He was the author of 20 books, most which fuse historical and contemporary social issues. Among his books are Black English and the Mass Media (1981); Forerunners of Revolution: Muckrakers and the American Social Conscience (1991); With Just Cause: The Unionization of the American Journalist (1991); Sex and the Single Beer Can: Probing the Media and American Culture (1997); Brer Rabbit, Uncle Remus, and the 'Cornfield Journalist': The Tale of Joel Chandler Harris (2000); The Joy of Sax: America During the Bill Clinton Era (2001); Unacceptable: The federal Response to Hurricane Katrina (2005); America's Unpatriotic Acts: The Federal Government's Violation of Constitutional and Civil Rights (2006); Sinking the Ship of State: The Presidency of George W. Bush (2007);  and Before the First Snow (2011). He was co-author of The Press and the State (1986), awarded Outstanding Academic Book distinction by Choice magazine, published by the American Library Association.

His last book is Fracking America: Sacrificing Health and the Environment for Short-Term Economic Benefit (2015), a critically-acclaimed novel that looks at what happens when government and energy companies form a symbiotic relationship, using "cheaper, cleaner" fuel and the lure of jobs in a depressed economy but at the expense of significant health and environmental impact.

During the past two decades, he won more than 150 regional and national media awards from the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, Society of Professional Journalists, National Federation of Press Women, USA Book News, Independent Book Publishing Professionals Group, Pennsylvania Press Club, Pennsylvania Women's Press Association, Pennsylvania Associated Press Broadcasters Association, Penn-writers, International Association of Business Communicators, Pacific Coast Press Club, and Press Club of Southern California. He was recognized in 2012 by the Pennsylvania Press Club with the Communicator of Achievement award for lifetime achievement in journalism and public service.

He was an Eagle Scout; co-recipient of the Civil Liberties Award of the American Civil Liberties Union, 1996; and was honored by San Diego State University as a Points of Excellence winner in 1997. In 2000, he received the Herb Caen Memorial Award of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. For the Pennsylvania Humanities Council he was twice named a Commonwealth speaker. He also received the meritorious achievement medal of the U.S. Coast Guard.

At Bloomsburg University, he earned the Creative Arts Award, the Creative Teaching Award, and was named an Outstanding Student Advisor. He received the first annual Dean's Salute to Excellence in 2002, a second award in 2007, and the Maroon and Gold Quill Award for nonfiction. He was the 2004 recipient of the Martin Luther King Jr. Humanitarian Service Award. For 22 years, he was Editor-In-Chief of the awarding-winning Spectrum Magazine, part of the journalism program of the Department of Mass Communications, Bloomsburg University until his retirement in 2010.  The community magazine was published twice a year by students for residents of Columbia and Montour counties in northeastern Pennsylvania and one of the few to be inducted into the national Associated Collegiate Press hall of fame. The magazine was also a consistent award winner in competition sponsored by the Society of Professional Journalists, Columbia Scholastic Press Association, and the American Scholastic Press Association. He primarily taught magazine editing and production, public affairs reporting, feature writing, newspaper editing; every Fall, he taught a 250-student section on mass communications and the popular arts.

 Dr. Brasch was co founder of the qualitative studies division of the Association for Education in Journalism, president of the Keystone State professional chapter and for three years deputy regional director of the Society of Professional Journalists, from which he received the Director's Award and the National Freedom of Information Award. He was president of the Pennsylvania Press Club, vice-president of the Pennsylvania Women's Press Association, and founding coordinator of Pennsylvania Journalism Educators. He was a featured columnist for Liberal Opinion Week, senior correspondent for the American Reporter, senior editor for OpEdNews, and an editorial board member of Journalism History and the Journal of Media Law and Ethics.

He was a member of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, Author's Guild, National Writers Union (UAW/AFL-CIO), The Newspaper Guild (CWA/AFL-CIO), and the Society of Environmental Journalists. He was a life member of the service fraternity Alpha Phi Omega, and was indicted into the national scholarship honor societies Phi Kappa Phi (general scholarship), Kappa Tau Alpha (journalism), Pi Gamma Mu (social sciences), and Kappa Tau Alpha (sociology.) He is listed in Who's Who in America, Who's Who in the East, Contemporary Authors, Who's Who in the Media and Who's Who in Education. Dr. Brasch earned an A.B. in sociology from San Diego State College, an M.A. in journalism from Ball State University, and a Ph.D. in mass communication/journalism, with a cognate area in both American government/public policy and language and culture studies, from The Ohio State University.

He is survived by his wife of 34 years, the former Rosemary Renn the most wonderful thing that happened in his life and whom he loved very much; two sons, Jeffery Gerber, Phoenix AZ and Matthew Gerber and his wife, Laurel  (Neyhard)  of Bloomsburg, a sister, Corey Brasch of Sacramento, Calif; a niece, Terri Pearson-Fuchs, Calif, numerous cousins; and his beloved dogs Cabot and Remy.

Funeral services will be held on Wednesday, at 2:00 p.m. at the Dean W. Kriner Inc. Funeral Home & Cremation Service,  325 Market St., Bloomsburg with family friend, Nathaniel Mitchell officiating. Interment in Elan Memorial Park, Lime Ridge.

Friends may call at the funeral home on Tuesday from 6 - 8 p.m. or Wednesday from 1-2 p.m.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be sent to the Walter M. Brasch Scholarship Fund,

c/o First Keystone Community Bank, 2301 Columbia Blvd, Bloomsburg, PA 17815 or to

Mostly Mutts, 284 Little Mountain Rd., Sunbury, PA 17801